The new chain of Car dealerships is opening in Texas.
Big "W" Car sales will open several stores around Texas starting in 2009. Here is a sneak peek at there first commercial staring George "Big W" B*sh.
"Howdy y'all, wecometo "BIG W's" were we sell the finest automobiles in Texas, why hell look at these gems."
"Them's some nice looking cars huh? So you must be asking "Hey Big W, some of them cars look a little rough." Well hell no, Those are just as good as the armorless death traps our troops are using in IRAQ, what are you unpatriotic, huh, Why don't you love America, like this guy?"
"Any-who, Let me just run down a few of our Big W only specialty items on these fine veehickels. Like this fine item donated by the NRA. This beautiful rear gun rack. Placed perfectly for easy access for the young-in's"
"How about this stainless steel ash tray donated by Phillip Morris USA."
"Plus you get this fine bumper sticker at no extra charge."
"How about that"
"Ohh and make sure you ask about our Richest 1% American discount program. Hell, with discounts like these, you may get the whole damn car for free."
"What you are not that rich? Well then we have a great financing program provided by our friends at the Saudi National Commercial Bank
. There good friends of my daddy and we all trust my daddy"
"Make sure you don't fall behind on those payments, their Repo men can be a little cranky"
"Now I bet your saying, This can't get any better, well it does. By chance your car would break down I have exclusive rights to the Mike Brown Emergency Road side Service program.
You just pick up your phone and call Brownie and he will send someone out within 5 hours after you call. Plus Brownie will guarantee that someone will be there in 1-2 days or he will quit and blame it on them."
"They will bring your car down to our Halliburton Car Care center. At $2,000 dollars a hour for labor, these guys do a hell of a job.
"By the way, bring the kiddy's down on Saturday where Dick Cheney will be making Balloon animals and singing songs for them."
"Well maybe not, So stop on down to BIG W's and check out the deals, and remember our motto:
Whether its Supreme Court Justices
or a 72' Duster
"TRUST ME"