Sometimes I wonder

just how much our inner happiness is ruled by our political satisfaction? Do you feel more energetic when you feel political hope? Do you smile more, laugh more, play more when there is a shot of freedom from the oppressors?

It is easy to remember the euphoria when Clinton was declared the winner of the Presidency. It was the first time in years I had that much energy. My friends reported the same. I felt a similar euphoria when discovering the undecided voters were breaking for Kerry. We had the election won, I was elated and full of energy. I am sure others felt the same.

I would rather not be reminded of the days after the 'election', they were dark and dismal. My energy level returned to the low prior to the hope that we would have a honest counting.

It isn't unusual to have become depressed throughout the past year. One look at a soldiers eyes upon returning to the states can reverberate in the memory forever. Such hollowness. One wonders just how they were able to endure everything they have been through.

Food lines growing frighteningly longer in Ohio, people talking in diners about just how much longer they can pay their bills or buy gas to commute to work, all contribute to a depressed state of mind. For those of us who feel others pain, yes, the Bush administration has brought us to a very low state of mind.

As news of the coming indictments surfaced, I have found myself smiling again. My steps have become lighter, my energy level higher. I even found myself laughing from deep within again. Hope. The only thing better is the victory. I close my eyes and send special thoughts to Fitz and his aides.

because I feel a little less nutty myself. Wondering if being depressed isn't the normal reaction to what's going on. Would the germans in Germany that supported Hitler and went along with what he caused have been depressed, if they'd have realized how things were going to turn out? Would they have cried tears for all the many people they allowed to be hurt so badly, beforehand, if they'd have seen it coming?

I wonder if it would color every day for them, like it does for me. I've wondered if it seemed surrealistic, because when I hear that idiot say "evil doers", it feels that way here now. I wonder what it's doing overall. I remember a study that came out, what a year ago, maybe six months ago, that said we're one of the most mentally ill nations on earth? Was that right? I think that's what it indicated. And if that was us then, what did we become after Katrina? I wonder what are we going to become next, as things begin to deteriorate?

I think, I'm paying my emotional dues now, ahead of time. It's my humble opinion that, by the time a lot of people realize it's appropriate to be shocked and saddened by our nation's government, they won't know what to do about it. They'll have guilt to deal with too. And likely for many a lot of personal problems caused by external circumstances beyond their control, which is, unless I'm mistaken, the most stressful type of situation.

Talk about going nuts. It could make the 60's look like a family picnic.

now I am beginning to feel that way about my own future, and that of America

is going well and I am too busy enjoying it. When Clinton was elected I felt relief that the worst government in the history of the US was finally out of office. Then there were the pardons. That was depressing.

However, since 2000, I have had a hard time staying employed because the gov't thinks shipping computer jobs overseas is good for the economy. I have felt like I am living in a science fiction movie. I have felt insane because I see one thing and the gov't says the opposite is true and the MSM agrees with the gov't. I always thought there was a future we all could work toward. These people have killed that and probably our country.