FITZMAS CAROLS COMPILATION -- you asked for it .. and you get it!

1. Little Dumber Boyz
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5142877

2. THE NIGHT BEFORE FITZMAS (adapted from Clement C.Moore's famous poem)
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5141723

3. Hubert Flottz Post #21 Did I hear a request out there?
ODE TO DEVIL'S ISLAND
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5142877

Ode to Devil's Island

Jungle jail, jungle jail, breakin' some rocks
A "Series" Sledge and the sun's mighty hot,
Panting and puffing, boy is Karl's having fun,
Now that his 20 year strech has begun.

Jungle jail, jungle jail, poundin them stones
Shrub got the meat, but old Karl gets the bone
Swinging and sweating and makin' rocks Square
In the swampy air.

Karl's fright time, it's the night time
He plukes the night away
Karl's jail time, is a swell time
Who'd ever thunk that in jail he'd get laid?
Squeal like a pig, on your hands and your feet
Jiggle around the cell block
Mix your juices with some perverted geek's
That's the jungle jail,
That's the jungle jail,
That's the jungle jail rock.

4. It is Begining to Look a Lot like Fritzmas!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=5138947

on edit: added a lost link

KEEP THOSE POSTS COMING, DUers ...

AND KEEP THIS THREAD KICKED ...

Good job! I was thinking that a collection was in order-so much GREAT stuff...now we just need a "Fitzmas" smilie!
(or is it this? :popcorn: )

I can't wait to see it ... you are ALWAYS sooooooooooo clever

This is great though and rec'd.

and Bleever! :hi: Hi Bleev! :loveya:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=5128990

Courtesy of the lovely and talented ralps, and your humble correspondent :D

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5108314&mesg_id=5108314

Halfway down the thread

Rainman - aint_no_life_nowhere

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5137309

Jingle Jail Rock

Jingle jail, jingle jail, jingle jail rock
Jingle jail swing and jingle jail clink
No more snow’in or blow’in--Bush is havin’ no fun
Now the jingle jail hop’s begun

Jingle jail
Jingle jail
Jingle jail rock
Jingle jail time for treasonous crime
We’ll be dancing and prancing in Jingle Jail Square
when indictments hit the air!

What a bright time
it's the right time
To lock ol’ Rove away
Jingle Jail time it’s a swell time
To make every single Bush* fucker pay!
Giddy-up jingle horse
straight to the pen
Somebody spilled the beans!
Mix and a-mingle perjury/cover-up!
That's the jingle jail

That's the jingle jail
That's the jingle jail rock !!!!

and am warming my voice up for a full night of celebrating once the indictments rain down.

Thanks all you creative DUers! Great songs, great laughs...

and bring out a Fitzmas album in time for the holiday season?

:woohoo: :woohoo:

Maybe DU can do a Fitzmas book with carols and stories! Use it as a fund raiser or something!

I finally finished it.

Cheney's nuts roasting on an open fire.....
Fitz's notes nipping at his ass,
Plame indictments being hung 'round his pyre
and aides 'fessed up like little ho's.

It means INDICTMENTS are on their way...
With lots of counts and other goodies, so they say

And every motherf*cker in the White House will wonder why
Perjury charges will soon start to fly

So I'm offering the simple things
for Indictments from 1 to 22
Although it'll be said many times, many ways,
Merry Fitzmas to you.

Change this:


to this:


It flows better :-)

including that classic that I've been seeing in many threads, "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fitzmas" by Crispini.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=5101961

Don't rest ye merry Democrats

Don't rest ye merry Democrats
Although they booked DeLay
Remember that indictments
Will come on Fitzmas Day

To save us all from Bush's hacks
Who leadeth us astray
O charges of treason and more
Treason and more
O charges of treason and more

From the White House in Washington
The name of Plame did slip
Once Wilson proved the liars wrong
Back from his Niger trip

Behold the rot that caused the leak
On Bush's sinking ship
O charges of treason and more
Treason and more
O charges of treason and more

To Rove the Great Deceiver
And Libby, Cheney's bitch
The plan to sell their pointless war
Would go without a hitch

But Karl's just a conjurer
And Scooter just a snitch
O charges of treason and more
Treason and more
O charges of treason and more

Good Fitz will throw the book at them
Or so my sources say
Hark! Time has come at last to cheer
And make these traitors pay

Our flag will tell of freedom 'gain
Come glor'yous Fitzmas Day!
O charges of treason and more
Treason and more
O charges of treason and more

Sweet pat'riots can speak freely now
That Rove is behid bars
And Cheney's booked, and Libby's done
For starting groundless wars

Our press will come out free again
But not without it's scars
O charges of treason and more
Treason and more
O charges of treason and more

WELL DONE!

:)

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

Have yourself a merry little Fitzmas,
Let your blogging be strong
From now on,
Bushs's troubles will be in the light
Have yourself a merry little Fitztmas,
Make the cronies pay,
From now on,
Bush's own pardon will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of '96.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang an effigy upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Fitzmas now.

I have a little repug
I made it out of oil
And when it's dry and ready
Oh man did it soil

(Chorus)

Oh repug, repug, repug
I made it out of oil
And when it's dry and ready
Oh man did it soil

It has a rather fat body
With a crotch so short and thin
And when my repug's tired
I indict him and we win

(Chorus)

My repug's always scornful
It loves to lie and spin
A happy game in the court of law
Come play now, let's begin!

OH! PATRIKKAH!!!!

Patrikkah, Oh Patrickkah
The sweet celebration
Around the tube we gather
in complete jubilation

Many are the reasons for good cheer
Now that Indictment Season is here
Many are the reasons for good cheer
Now that Indictment Season is here

Together, such pleasure
for what the future brings
So hear us rejoicing and merrily voicing
the Patrikkah song that we sing
So hear us rejoicing and merrily voicing
the Patrickkah song that we sing

Oh Patrickkah, Oh Patrickkah
The Festival of Joy
A holiday, a jolly day
for every girl and boy
Watching for frogmarches, all week long
Cheering for Fitz, singing songs
Watching for frogmarches, all week long
Cheering for Fitz, singing songs

Indict them, tonight then
The thieves all in a row
Retell the story, election thefts so gory
And dance by the flickering glow
Retell the story, election thefts so gory
And dance by the flickering glow!

Cheney, Cheney, Cheney
I'll hate to see him go
But when he's in the big house
A party I will throw.

Dick Cheney is a liar
And so is Georgie Bush
They deserve each other
Let's give them both a push.

Oh, Cheney, Cheney, Cheney
I'll hate to see him go
But when he's in the big house
A party I will throw.

And Thanks!

Here's my valiant attempt:

Must Be Fitzmas

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=5132709#5141904

Who's got a base that's dumb and white?



And from someone else:

Did you Hear What I Heard?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=5132709#5140157

I could hardly wait to get home from work to see if there was a compilation.....and here it is!
I printed out a few of these to take to work to share and they were a huge hit. The whole crew was singing and cracking up!
Just now sent them as e-mails with festive color font, centered in a holiday theme message body. I also inserted the accompanying midi to sing along with.
They turned out great and this was a blast to do. Nice to be able to lighten up for a little bit.
Thanks to all of you brilliant "composers"!
Nominated!
:toast:

Walking in their orange underwear


Cells doors clang, are you Listening,
In federal courts, they are indicting.
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight
They're walking in their orange underwear.

Gone away, the blossum old turd,
Here to stay, now a jail bird,
The canary he sings,
More indictments he brings,
They're walking in their orange underwear.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
then pretend that he is Scott McClellan,
He'll say: Are you Karl Rove,
We'll say: No man,
Blame game and litmus test
you're such a clown.

Later on, they'll perspire
Their nuts roast, by the fire
To face their own fate,
no matter how late,
They're walking in their orange underwear.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5135733&mesg_id=5140171

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Fitzmas!

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Everywhere you go
There's an idictment for the brain
The one who outed Plame
and Scooter Libby is likely the next to go

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
The beltway's sure noisey
The pundits try to spin
They know they'll never win
Fox News has lost all its blusterin' glow

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
Soon the court the will hear
The truth instead of lies
As Bush* sits and cries
While his ratings are minus zero in the polls

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas
We all now have hope
Take a look at all your friends
Their smiles are all up-bend
The Neo-Con's stockings are full of coal

May I suggest that instead of
"There's an idictment for the brain
The one who outed Plame"
that you rewrite it:
"There're indictments for Bush's Brain
That one who had outed Plame"

This has a better flow and it matches the melody.

Regards,
STP

I saw three shits perp-walking in
On Fitzmas day, on Fitzmas day
I saw three shits perp-walking in
On Fitzmas day in the morning.

And who were they, these shits all three?
On Fitzmas day, on Fitzmas day
And who were they, these shits all three?
On Fitzmas day in the morning.

The traitorous turd, he met his demise
On Fitzmas day, on Fitzmas day
His cuffs and leg-irons were oversize
On Fitzmas day in the morning.

Libby the liar begged for bail
On Fitzmas day, on Fitzmas day
As he was frogmarched off to jail
On Fitzmas day in the morning.

Losing his Dick caused chimp much pain
On Fitzmas day, on Fitzmas day
His lying crew saw the end of their reign
On Fitzmas day in the morning.

Away With Thee Mangy

I hope that old Karl likes water and bread,
And a cinder block pillow under his chubby head.
Karl rots in zee cooler and sleeps on wet hay
Bush runs around loose just like Enron's Ken Lay


The rats crawl around Karl and give him the shakes
And his cellmate's old Bubba so he'd best stay awake
Karl wears an orange jump suit and a pair of flip flops
If he don't watch old Bubba he's sure to get topped



Karl wishes he'd been good and not been a crook
He wishes he'd never got busted and booked
If he had him a reffer he'd prolly get high
Cause he has trouble sleepin' just shutting one eye

.... the grand jury brought to me... an indictment against Cheney...
on the second day of Fitzmas, Saint Patrick gave to me...two co-conspirators...and an indictment against Cheney...
On the third day of Fitzmas, the corporate media said to me...Fitz is a liar, Judy won't be fired, and you can shove that indictment against Cheney
On the fourth day of Fitzmas my senses returned to me with...four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co-conspirators and an indictment against Cheney.
On the fifth day of Fitzmas i almost had to pee, when i heard ,....FIVE MORE INDICTED!!!.....Four guilty-pleas, three talking- heads, two co-conspirators and an indictment against Cheney.
On the sixth day of Fitzmas my refresh button brought to me...Tom Delay is crying!....FIVE MORE INDICTED!! !...Four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co-conspirators and an indictment against Cheney.
On the seventh day of Fitzmas, my exhaustion got to me as I read Tweety's given up lying?, Tom Delay is crying...and FIVE MORE INDICTED ...four guilty pleas , three talking-heads, two co-conspirators and an indictment against cheney.
On the eighth day of Fitzmas i almost couldn't breathe.. because Ledeen is charged with spying!, tweety's given up lying, Tom Delay is crying...and FIVE MORE INDICTED...four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co conspirators....and an indictment against Cheney
On the ninth day of Fitzmas my dear St Patrick's news for me was ...nine officials are singing!, Ledeen is charged with spying, tweety's given up lying, Tom Delay is crying...and FIVE MORE INDICTED...four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co conspirators....and an indictment against Cheney
On the tenth day of Fitzmas it was no surprise to see...ten terror alerts rising(ho-hum), nine officials singing, Ledeen charged with spying, tweety's given up lying, Tom Delay is crying...and FIVE MORE INDICTED...four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co-conspirators....and an indictment against Cheney
On the eleventh day of Fitzmas from C-Span what did i see... eleven congressmen quitting?!, ten terror alerts rising, nine officials singing, Ledeen is charged with spying, tweety's given up lying, Tom Delay is crying...and FIVE MORE INDICTED...four guilty pleas, three talking-heads, two co conspirators....and an indictment against Cheney
On the twelfth day of Fitzmas the world sighed along with me as Bush was charged with treason, eleven congressmen quitting, ten terror alerts rising, nine officials singing, Ledeen charged with spying, tweety gave up lying, Tom Delay is Crying and FIVE MORE INDICTED...Four guilty pleas, three talking heads, two co-conspirators, and an indictment against Cheney.

THE NIGHT BEFORE FITZMAS

Twas the night before Fitzmas, and in the White House
Every one was scared shitless, and Bush was quite soused
The indictments were hanging like Damoceles' sword
As verminous oxen prepared to be gored

The perps were all sleepless, curled fetal in bed
While visions of prison cells loomed in each head
And Dick in his jammies, and George in his lap
Were sweating and swearing and looking like crap

When out on the web there arose such a clatter
The blogs and the forums were buzzing with chatter
Away to the PC Rove ran like a flash
He booted his browser and cleared out his cache

The rumors that flew through the cold autumn air
Made Dubya shiver with angry despair
When what to his horror-filled eyes did he spy?
A bespectacled man with a brown suit and tie!

With an impartial manner that gave Bush the shits
He knew in a moment it must be St. Fitz!
With unwavering voice, his indictments they came
He cleared out his throat and he called them by name:

Now Scooter, Now Libby,
Now Blossoming Turd,
Now Cheney, dear Cheney,
Yes, you are the third
To the bench of the court
Up the steps, down the hall
Now come along, come along,
Come along, all!

He then became silent, and went right to work
He filed the indictments and turned with a jerk
And pointing his finger at justice's scale
Said, "The people be served, and let fairness prevail."

He then left the room, to his team gave a nod
And the sound could be heard of a crumbling facade
And we all did exclaim, as he faded from sight
"Merry Fitzmas to all, and to all a good night!"

- © 2005 Daryl W.

Turn "Carol Of The Bells" seen below into a Fitzmas song:

"Hark silver bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song,
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, christmas is here!
ding, merry, merry, merry christmas!
ding, merry, merry, merry christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home
Hark! how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away.
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling.
One seems to hear words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air
O, how they pound, raising the sound
O’er hill and dale, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, christmas is here!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!

On, on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home.
Ding dong ding dong"

I laughed until I cried

:rofl:

And A kick :kick: for the night shift

... wonderfully creative folks here - WOW, excellent work!!!!!!!

First verse on Daily Kos

O Aspen tree, O Aspen tree,
Your roots are all connected.
O Aspen tree, O Aspen tree,
But your sources aren't protected.
How shall we sell the war to them?
Just send some lies to Judy M.
O Aspen tree, O Aspen tree,
Your roots are all connected.

My addendum--

O Aspen tree, O Aspen tree,
Your leaves are turning yellow.
Fitzgerald’s nailing Karl Rove
And other nasty fellows
Who lied to get us into war.
He’ll throw the book at media whores
O Aspen tree, O Aspen tree,
Your leaves are turning yellow.

'They'll be in jail on Fitzmas'

They'll be in jail on Fitzmas;
Forget the sympathy.
Scooter, Shrub and Karl Rove;
Won't see no aspen tree.


Fitzmas Day will find them;
Where the barbed wire gleams.
They'll be in jail with Bubba;
I'll be listening for their screams

"8 Days Of Fitzmas" version by Pepper

(Verse 1)
On the 8th day of Fitzmas my baby Fitz gave to me
a pair of crony shades & a indictment engraved ring
On the 7th day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
a nice flak rug and he justified my glee
On the 6th day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
a cropped testimony of dirty Rove schemes
On the 5th day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
a list of naughtiest that he wrote for me

(Bridge)
The feelin' that I feel is so good
He makes me feel so in la-la-la-la-love
If he only knew what he does to me
My man, my c-span, my justice
Oh he makes me feel so antsy, so sexy
I'm so in la-la-la-la-love
How I love him for his generosity
My man, my c-span, my justice

(Chorus)
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (it feels so lusty)
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (wooooooooaaaaaaahhhh)
Yes it feels like Fitz-mas
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (it feels so lusty)
Doesn't it feel like Fitz-mas (the spirit of Fitz-mas)
Yes it feels like Fitz-mas

(Verse 2)
On the 4th day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
a candlelit blossomturd just me & my bacardi
On the 3rd day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
a indictment certificate to get a talking Libby
On the 2nd day of Fitz-mas my baby Fitz gave to me
the backlash of a CIA outing
On the 1st day of Fitz-mas my baby gave to me
Righty C-R-I-M-E-S

(Repeat Bridge)
(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge 2)
If it feels like Fitz-mas
Yes it's Fitz-mas
Bro's Fitz-mas
Mom's Fitz-mas
Dad's Fitz-mas
Bro's Fitz-mas
Feels like Fitz-mas
Feels like Fitz-mas

Katrina's Fitz-mas
Rita's Fitz-mas
Cindy's Fitz-mas
mom's Fitz-mas
dad's Fitz-mas
bro's Fitz-mas
Feels like Fitz-mas
Feels like Fitz-mas

(Repeat chorus twice)

From Destiny's Child "8 Days of Christmas"

Click here to hear tune:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005QG8X/qid=1130340599/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-5436639-1359148?v=glance&s=music
(scroll down to song one)

a.k.a. "The Aspens Are Turning"
(to the tune of Away in a Manger)

Away in the Blair House
With Lynne in his bed,
The Dark Lord, Dick Cheney
Laid down his large head.

The pundits are lowing
And poor Cheney wakes,
And to his dear Mrs.
Much crying He makes.

“ ‘The aspens are turning.’
Damn Libby did write
And effing Fitzgerald
Is bound to indict.”

“My staff are such fuckers
They’re jumping the ship.
Damn Scooter and Karl
Like pancakes they’ll flip.”

“It’s getting so frightening,
My weak heart may stop
But I have a plan, Lynne
For which I may opt.”

“Feed Scooter and Karl
And all so aligned
Into a wood chipper
Their bones I will grind.”