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The Vice President, seated, awaiting processing at a federal penitentiary
White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, "We simply will refuse to comment, because, as I have said before, this investigation is ongoing."
After a reporter in the room pointed out to Mr. McClellan that the investigation in actuality had concluded with the release of the report today, Mr. McClellan stated, "Heh... oh yeah... Well, we still can't say very much. Executive Privilege, National Security, Fifth Amendment, and what not. We will say that the two deaths in question appear highly suspicious and appear very likely to be forgeries. This Administration is very much looking forward to defending itself vigorously behind closed doors."
Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald displaying the phony British Passport to reporters
When asked to comment about the Vice President's apparent attempt at flight from justice, Mr. McClellan explained that this was just a planned policy trip to Great Britain, and the passport in the Vice President's possession was meant as a joke to the Administration's staunch ally, Prime Minister Tony Blair.
Patrick Fitzgerald was asked for comment and said simply, "You have what I've got to this point, and it would simply be inappropriate to comment on prosecutions in progress."
http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=1278&catid=9