Top Ten Things to Holler in the Voting Booth by Juanita

November 7 - I voted on the amendments. As you know, the outrageously soaring cost of pencils and paper has resulted in us having to use computers to vote. Well, actually, it’s more like a Coke machine than a computer.
Fort Bend County got these Vote-A-Matics on a 2-3 vote by Commissioners Court, with the deciding vote being cast by Commissioner Tom Stavinoah, who said out loud that he voted for these machine because as a former high school shop teacher he likes dials on his tools. No, I’m not kidding. He said that. I couldn’t make that up. Nobody would believe me if I made that up. Lord Have Mercy, I live in Goofyville.
I have seen how people mess-up paper ballots so I cannot even imagine how screwed-up this is going to get. They give you a pin number to vote. A pin number. Thankfully, they write it down because I can’t remember any more pin numbers, and even if I could, I think keeping track of my voter registration card is enough to ask of me.



Okay, so what I am supposed to do with this little piece of paper now? I mean, is it good for 20% off at Waddling Jose’s Pizza? Can I wave it in some Republican’s face and say, “Nannie, nannie boo-boo, I canceled your vote and I don’t even drive an SUV?” Will it get me in the backdoor of Foley’s on Red Apple Day? I doubt it.
As you can probably tell by now, I am not a supporter of the new Vote-A-Tronics. There is no verifiable paper trail. It uses flash memory. Anyone who has ever lost a picture off a digital camera is not going to be happy about that. I’m holding up my hand here to show that I am one of those people. You can hold yours up too, and maybe somebody can take count.
I have decided that if my County Commissioners don’t take my vote seriously, I’m not going to take their little machines seriously. If I can’t afford to buy a Commissioner like everyone else does, at least I can laugh at them.
Here's the Top Ten Things to Holler in the Voting Booth while voting -----

10. This is highly irregular, Dave.

9. Man, I wish we had one of those doomsday doohickeys on this machine.

8. Help! It has my finger and won’t let go!

7. I put in my pin number but it’ll only give me $20.00

6. Open the pod bay doors, Hal. Hal, open the pod bay doors.

5. Three cherries!!! Jackpot!

4. Can I buy a vowel before I spin this thing?

3. Big money. Big money. No whammy, Stop!

2. Captain, I’m giving it all I’ve got. I need more power.

1. Whaddya mean it only speaks English, Spanish, and Vietnamese? Don’t it speak Czech? Well, damn.

http://www.brazosriver.com/

of course, the truth of it sucks, but the delivery is fabulous!

:rofl:

:rofl: