MOGAMBO GURU: 'We're Morons With Nuclear Weapons!'

Richard Daughty -- the angriest guy in economics
email: scgcjs@gte.net

-- I hope you don't mind talking to me through the mail slot in the door, but I am not in the mood to open the damned door right now, as I am being driven crazy crazy crazy by alarm bells and alarm buzzers going clang clang clang and buzz buzz buzz respectively, and the Mogambo Economic Seismograph (SES) is literally flopping (flop flop flop) on the table from the financial tremors being detected.

It wasn't always this way. Why, I sort of remember this morning when I got up, smiling as the sun was coming up and little birds were singing sweetly to me from the treetops. And this morning the wife was still asleep so she wasn't already yelling at me, "Are you going to get up off your lazy butt and do something around here today?" (No).

But then my idyllic morning was shattered when the alarms starting going off after I learned that Total Fed Credit shot up by $3.955 billion dollars last week, which is scary enough in itself, because this means that all of this instant increase in credit was used to create more debt for somebody, and with the reserve multiplier of almost 100! I notice that you did not say "Yikes!" at that, so you are probably very hungover and thinking only of how your head hurts, and your stomach hurts, and your hair hurts, and there is a bad taste in your mouth, and somebody has peed in your pants, and you are therefore blissfully unaware of what this means. So, showing off my mathematical and calculator wizardry, I finally manage to turn the calculator on. With a self-satisfied smugness, I key in the number $3.955 billion with surgical precision, and then multiply that by 100, and after a few tries, I announce that most of the answers I got were $395.5 billion. That is how much potential new debt was created LAST FREAKING WEEK! In one week!

So the next thing I know, I am trying to explain to this stupid policeman that the obvious reason that I am riding my bicycle down the road this early in the morning, wearing nothing but an adult diaper and a wedding veil while screaming, "It's time for stupid Americans to wake up and prepare to be economically killed, you morons!" is that all this torrent of new debt means we are even MORE freaking doomed! And especially since all this new debt means all this new money in the system, and all this new money means all this new inflation in the money supply, and all this new inflation in the money supply means price inflation is coming to kill our money, our economy and us. To make sure that he comprehended the crucial importance of this basic fact, I even helpfully pointed out to him, as tactfully as The Mogambo can, that if he can't get it through his thick Neanderthal skull that my heroic actions, sort of like Paul Revere only more comfortably dressed, are fully justified, then he was just another stupid fascist pig cop. The next thing I said was, "Before you hit me with that nightstick again, are you telling me that you agree with the stupid idea that a nation can go into so much debt, and then print the money to pay the debts, that we will all end up rich?"

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