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I found this on Craigslist and it explains a lot about the USA

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achtung_circus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:43 PM
Original message
I found this on Craigslist and it explains a lot about the USA
Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. LOL..... That's good. nt
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. if only ---
i can dream...
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BrainRants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
3. Bravo!
I live in Wisconsin, thank God I get to come along! :)
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Selatius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
4. I don't think America will survive as one nation anymore
Edited on Wed Nov-23-05 06:52 PM by Selatius
Culturally, different parts of the country have simply grown too far apart. The culture found in Massachusetts is simply so alien to one found in Mississippi. We don't see eye-to-eye anymore, and perhaps we never really did. The only time the US came together was when there was an external threat that was serious enough that forced people to cooperate.

200 years from now and perhaps even less, I believe the US will exist as several independent nations, not one single nation.

I'd rather not see such a break-up in my lifetime, and if forced to choose, I'd rather avoid a violent break-up if possible, but it seems that the only constant is change, and this nation, this empire, we live in will fade away and eventually die like all the other great empires on earth before us.
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leftstreet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. I see only one common denominator left. The television.
It's almost impossible to find people who don't watch it.

At this point I see it as the only potential source for bridging cultural divides.

Unfortunately, Big Inc USA sells more cars and cheap crap through anxiety consumerism. So who knows.
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electropop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 07:31 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Swore off my TV 3.5 months ago.
Haven't even owned one in that time. My productivity is blossoming.

Excellent essay!
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Mind_your_head Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. You're talking to the wrong people then.....
Edited on Wed Nov-23-05 08:38 PM by Mind_your_head
There are LOTS of people who don't watch TV....

I don't (for one) and know many other who don't....

....ehm, Amish people don't (electricity and all that)

....People who are too busy out there 'doing things' don't have time for it, and don't watch

....People who are tired of getting fed garbage (and having to pay a lot of money every month for the 'privilege') don't watch it

....as the economy continues to tank, and people lose their jobs, TV will be viewed as the luxury that it is, and less people will subscribe to cable (and most people don't know about antenna's anymore (while broadcast still lasts, that is). You know when it comes to deciding between food, heat, gas for the car ~ cable TV won't make the cut.

on edit: fixed spellling
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rosesaylavee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
7. Kicked and Recommended
When do we start?

:bounce:
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OPERATIONMINDCRIME Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:00 PM
Response to Original message
8. MMMMMMMMM MAUI WOWIE..........
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bvar22 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:03 PM
Response to Original message
9. Which ones are the RED States?


I only see states where the Democratic Party needs to work a little harder.
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Yavin4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
10. This Country Is On The Road To Civil War
That article says it all. As the Red states get more and more Christian Theocratic, women, Gays, and other non-religious people will move away to work and live in freedom. There are tons of Gay people in NY and SF with strong Southern accents. When such people leave, they take their tax base with them. That will leave the Red states even poorer than they are now.
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lovelaureng Donating Member (434 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
11. I like it.
When do we start?
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RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
12. After all, the US STARTED in the Northeast....
It's so funny to hear southerners claim to be more "American" that Massachussetts or Connecticut residents; shit, if those yankees hadn't had the werewithal to set up a democracy, do the heavy lifting, and create a national tresury, etc, we'd still be living under a fucking King right now....all the ideals "Patriotic" southerners cling to originated in New England, the fucking revolutionary war was mostly fought there, all the Founding Fathers called the Northeast home, and now these upstarts in the Humid States claim to embody the tenets of Americanism more than those who started the goddamn enterprise to begin with.

The South can have Patriotism; we in the North will settle for Reality, thank you very much.
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sarcasmo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
14. Thanks for the laugh, :) sometimes the funniest things are true.
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Gold Metal Flake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-23-05 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. Locking
DU considers the Craigslist post as region bashing.
here is a more optimistic view:

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