Where Can I Take My Kid For A Photo Sitting On Jesus' Lap?

I prefer Santa. But, with fundies running the show, I figure things are a changin'. So, I have a few questions about this new fangled Christmas.

Where can I take my kid for a pic sitting on Jesus' lap?

Does he bring gifts for kids?

Does he like cookies and milk too?

Has he checked HIS list twice?

Does he have different standards of naughty and nice than we are used to from Santa?

In the white robes, it there any chance that he will be hard to find in the snow? For that matter, do the sandals keep him warm enough?

Does he still have the reindeer or has he gone with something more traditional? Flying lambs maybe?

Just what should I be expecting from this "putting Jesus back into Christmas" fervor?

In other words, what's the fucking difference?

Someplace close to home if at all possible. I'd hate having to go all the way to heaven every year until my daughter is grown and I can tell her it is all a fairy tale.

:rofl:

On Woolly, on Bleaty, on LambChop, on....

assume Santa's address at the North Pole?

I'd hate to think of all those letters just piling up outside an empty workshop!

They'll be storming the malls, forcibly removing Santa from the throne and putting Jesus there. It'll be all over the five-o'clock news!

:rofl:

you can leave out some bread and wine.
Or you can leave out a fish and a loaf. Probably depends how hot you keep your house at night and whether your pets are roaming around freely after you go to bed.

She is always saying: "Jesus Christ, turn down the TV, Jesus Christ keep your feet off the furniture!"

About how his little brother thought his name was Jesus Christ.

Christ close the door and the brother said, "Dad, I'n not Jesus, I'm Damnit"

Hopefully you live close!:rofl:

Reminds me of a David Lynch film.

Just wow. American Grotesque.

I've always thought that the Christian re-birth story and the coming-of-spring re-birth rituals of almost every other culture on earth since the beginning of time were an interesting coincidence. I mean, how does *that* happen? :sarcasm: