What children lack today is hope.

If you ask kids today what they want to be when they grow up, a surprising number of them will tell you what they WANT when they grow up, but not what they want to BE. I think that a lot of kids measure their worth and the worth of those around them, by things they have or do not have.

My friend's daughter said the other night that she wanted to be "rich" when she grew up. I asked her how she would BECOME rich.. her answer.. "Well maybe I'll win the lottery or something".

This is a straight-A student..a 5th grader. Her parents are not wealthy, nor are they poor, and they do plan on having her go to college. She is ambivalent about whether she wants to go or not. Granted, she has lots of time to plan, but when I was young, kids had dreams about what they wanted to do in their life as a grownup. They wanted to be teachers, firemen, police, doctors, nurses.

The kids I see today are TIRED.. and if they are tired at their ages, what on earth is in store for them as they grow up? My generation was the "turn on, tune in and drop out" generation, but it was not because we were TIRED.. We were energized ...to try a NEW way of living.

I think kids of today are getting a new message. The message my generation got was "The sky's the limit...Your future is waiting there, for you to grab".. I think todays kids are watching their parents on the treadmill, and are not eager to join them. This might be why so many of them are refusing to grow up. Girls (and boys) have eating disorders and remain childlike in size, and stir the parental interest that they may be craving. Boys act out with learning disabilities and trigger some parental involvement that they may be missing out on.

Gangs are even an outgrowth of the lack of family. If they cannot get it from their birth family, they create a new family of kindred spirits. Unfortunately, that does not work out well for most of them..

Our children seem to be either over-stimulated & scheduled, or ignored. There seems to be little medium ground these days.

I am sensing a hopelessness in so many young people, and it does not bode well for our nation. In cities, there is a conveyor belt of sorts for poor kids. they enter school and on the other end, there seems to be single-parenthood or jail. Is it any wonder why so many of them have "attitudes"?


Schools, even suburban upscale ones, are like fortresses ...not a place to learn and hang out with friends. TV tells them that someone is waiting around every corner, to kidnap them, rape them, kill them. They go home to mostly empty houses, apartments, and have emotionally drained parents who are there physically from time to time, but that's all.

It seems sad that as a nation, there has not been a grand-scale effort to turn things around. It would not be cheap, but I think it would be very worthwhile. Instead of building more juvenile facilities and jails, why not build and staff more colleges. Why not PROMISE every kid that of they maintain a C+ average, they WILL go to college?

A free public education is no longer enough for our kids to keep up with the rest of the world, and they KNOW it. Lots of kids have seen their Mom & Dad's jobs just "go away". There has to be a lot of festering frustration in kids tody. They must be thinking, "Why should I bust my ass studying, when my family cannot afford to send me to college, and I cannot afford to graduate with $50K of debt, only to "land" a $10 an hour job, and live in Mom & Dad's spare room until I'm 30"?

We need a Marshall Plan approach to education, or before long, we will be a Third World Country . Size is no guarantee that it cannot happen here.

We don't seem to care for our young or our old, and yet we all WERE young,most HAVE young, and will all BE old.

try orginizing a hike, i find getting out into the world (natural world that is) can be quite refreshing. and most importantly keep them away from all the physcalogical operations our media dishes out, its not always the content providers faults for these kind of obsurities. the higher ups ie the illuminati have a large hand in the formation of popular ideals among the worlds media services. spread freedom truth, and let them know they do have a voice the world is eagerly awaiting to hear! this can also pertain to the education they receive imho

So much for our country's corporate and political leadership.

We're a mess and everybody prefers to point fingers instead of being TRUE men and trying to work together; each of us at least acknowledging that we should all compromise. (I'll readily work with moderate Republicans; I know two who are damn good people. Neocons are the type that want the other side to drop everything for them and still say they are not compromising. Clinton being the closest modern-day example I can instantly recall.)

"work together" and "all compromise" with "TRUE men"-- and no women?

:boring:

Even though we were raised more strictly, even (gasp) spanked, we had more real freedom than they do. We could go out and play all day, stopping off at home only for meals. We could roam our neighborhoods, visiting our school friends on our own. There were few organized sports for little kids--most of us just had school, Cub Scouts or Brownies (I walked to Brownies after school with a group of about ten other girls and home again afterwards with the two who lived on my block), and maybe piano lessons.

I think we had a secure "home base" that many of today's kids don't even know existed. We spent a lot of time in mixed age groups, so we had also had a more realistic picture of the adult world than do kids who spend all their time with other kids.

... to turn things around. It would not be cheap, but I think it would be very worthwhile."

SoCalDem, I agree with you. Our children are worth the effort & the cost.

Thank you for posting this. (Recommended)

that dreams (and especially children's dreams) are important clues to the future, and by the very nature of childhood, children are in much closer touch with their dreams than adults are. Thus -- in Jungian terms -- children's dreams and overall behavior as a collective compass: which means the behavior you describe is ominous indeed.

Nor are your concerns isolated.

One of the major newspapers -- I believe The Washington Post -- ran a series last spring focusing on the wildly varying expectations within several generations of the same family. The elders -- people who had come of age during the Depression and the New Deal -- had been superbly optimistic all their lives. The children were not only pessimistic but bottomlessly so: "unless you're rich -- and we're not -- there's no hope: life will only get worse -- much worse."

Thus it's not that we "will be a Third World country." We already are: not only psychologically (as proven by observations such as yours and The Post's), but also economically -- as undeniably (and horrifically) demonstrated by the aftermath of Katrina.

This is why -- as John Edwards says -- it is so vital we restore the New Deal. The elections of 2006 and 2008 are literally our last chance to rescue American liberty -- and save ourselves from serfdom.

Mu professor was Finnish, and had such an accent, I barely understood a word he said :)

and if all kids with C+ averages got shunted into college, we'd end up with a nation of middle managers who still wouldn't have any jobs.

We need to get serious about protecting American citizens from corporations, about protecting strategic industries from being raided by foreign powers and sacrificed to corporate greed.

We need to get serious about making work pay, about having any job pay enough for a person to live on, which means enough to afford expenses, medical care, an occasional luxury, and saving for retirement.

We need to get serious about ending the culture of corruption among the super rich whereby all gains in productivity by the US worker have been skimmed off at the top by chief executives who have basically legalized embezzlement.

We need to get serious about ending corruption in our government, by enforcing campaign financing laws, ending bundled corporate contribuitions, by ending PAC contributions, and ending unlimited party contributions. We need to eliminate TV advertising during campaigns, instead devoting time to the public service every broadcaster is supposed to do and allow candidates to make their appeals based on their program, not slinging mud at the other guy.

Above all, we need to end the witless march to a feudal society, where all kids have to look forward to is an endless treadmill of work with involuntary overtime, little family life, pay that doesn't support them, and a mountain of debt.

is the key.. Some kids will always find other things to do and ways to express themselves without college. The "college' could even be redefined. Kids who are artistic may not want to 'waste' their time in college..maybe for them, an opportunity for an art internship or further training would be an option.

It's just sad that a country that claims to have ALL option, in reality has very few for most people.. "paper or Plastic"?

and college need not be a "static" time frame.. The four years (probably more like 6 these days) could be "used" in segments or all together.

It always cracks me up when *² spouts his "retraining at community college" spiel.. If you are 45 years old and have just lost your union or good-paying career job, you have NO TIME to waste in finding another (or a few) jobs..A family to support will always trump, a casual "retraining" at community college.. The community colleges around here are still laying off teachers, and eliminating classes anyway.

did is such an awesome gift. If you don't know anonymous donors have promised any student that graduates from Kalamazoo schools have their tuition and fees paid at any public college or university in Michigan.

What a gift they all woke up to. They'll know from the start college is open to them without coming out burdened with debt.

They might go other ways but money be what closes that door.

A rich guy did something similar a long time ago.. he 'adopted" a class of 2nd graders (I think), and almost ALL of them took him up on his college offer..

Just KNOWING there's a "goodie" at the end of the road, helps make the trip worthwhile..and migth just encourage parents to get their kids to work harder and pay attention :)

...:patriot:
:bounce: :bounce:


Your approach would actually be effective NOW whereas the mere recognition of symptoms that are the results of causes which were inevitable to have the current effects, is too little too late. Kind of annoying. We let this country get totally fucked up and participated (or not) in the process and then wonder :scratchhead: why the kids are expressing the angst of the zeitgeist!?!!!!!!!

:kick:

When I read what Warpy wrote, I said to myself, "Warpy for president".

but I know a lot of high school/college aged kids who aren't. I know dirt-poor kids and kids who are from the wealthiest families you can imagine.

They have a lot of hope, but very little regard for the methods of the older generations. They aren't fighting the old ways yet, but the next generation will step up one day soon.

I mean, look at life from their perspective: they are assailed from all sides.

We steeped them in a repressed/immature/unrealistic mire of violence and sex and then installed leaders who expect them to be celibate sheep.

On one end, folks treat children like little clones you indoctrinate and abuse "in Gawd's name" and on the other end of the spectrum, we have people who want the world to discontinue producing children altogether.

I'd say they are much more worried about the disorders in our generations than we should be about the disorders in theirs.

But this is based on my friendships and discussions with kids I know. My youngest is 12, and he could teach the world quite a bit if it would listen.

i have found in my family, i have purposely limited outside activities, so the kids have plenty of time in their home. a place that has been created in peace. safety and secuirity. total comfort. our refuge. i dont worry about my kids. but i do see how the information hiway, the manipulation of media, the anger and hate and little patience for all humanity feeds. we take clear actions against these things which help to allow my children to see that they do have a sense of control. regardless if it is a stranger in the store and a simple hello. interaction with our fellowman allowing us to see the good in so many people. the recognition of manipulation by media. with all the following long to address the many things my kids encounter that are beyond there years, because of all our down time, it allows them the ability to process it in a healthy and balanced way

i know it is hard for kids. i dont take it lightly. i tell mine, people that say oh to be a kid agians, man i wouldnt want not be.

it really really is true, ..... it does take a village. we are all responsible. and if all us moms and dad are responsible for all children, those that dont receive, will get tastes of it here and there.

I feel for teachers too. They have a hard enough time trying to teach their classes, and some have to help "parent" the kids too..

I come from a town that's been half gutted, half turned into a low rent Chicago suburb. I half expect to get drafted into the army to fight in Syria or Colombia or Iran. I worry constantly that I won't find a job, that the oil will run out and we'll all be reduced to a stone age existence, or that the methane in the oceans will sublimate and we'll all die.

Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing left to fight for.

I'm sorry, but fifth graders have no real conception of what it means to go to college or how to earn money. When I was that age (only about 13 years ago) I felt rich getting a total of $50 for my birthday. Certainly a fifth grader wouldn't have a grasp on how to pay for college.

The problems you talk about are very real, but I think the perspective of 5th graders isn't going to shed light on the situation.

and they don't tend to pretend to be astronauts.

The hopelessness is passed down from their parents who DO know the cost of education. They don't get their kids hopes up too high with lofty career goals and such, because that puts unreasonable pressure on them to help deliver.

I taught 5th grade at a Title I school. The kids know what they're up against. They know what the "haves" have and what they don't have - and absolutely no road map on how to get from A to B.

I hated MATH with a passion.. What did I end up doing? Bookkeeper :)

:( We need someone who can give people hope again such as Kennedy gave us...someone who can give us dreams again to reach for the sky (and not literally). *Sigh* Even as a young adult I feel drained and tired and just don't care.

linked here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5517286

(I cross-linked this thread to that one, too.)

and working with what they've got (vitrually no support from parents and the community). there's so much that the kids are up against.

time for people who complain about "America's Youtes" to put their money where their mouth is. (not you - the jerks who vote down the levees and the bigger jerks who run for office on an "education first" platform & do nothing once they're in, and the even bigger jerks to use cirriculum to further some other agenda, and the businesses who starve schools with policy, then offer to re-fund them privately - with strings-o-plenty attached.)

It has a FOUNTAIN in front, and a waterfall in the lobby!! and the teachers have to take up collections for paper and pencils :grr:

They explained, whe I called up to complain about the 'Taj Majal'.."The building was a bargain.,, it was supposed to be an apartment complex, and the financing fell through, so the district bought it cheaper than we could have built one"..They DID turn off the fountain and waterfall, though :)

I complained because 4 WEEKS into his senior year my son was still "sharing books" in 2 classes..and since he was tutoring 3 kids, he had to tutor them at school because he could not take a book home with him..

I'd have your baby but being male and married might cause some complications ;-)

To the education issues you've described, I'd like to add the following:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2288002&mesg_id=2289140
(mostly for the quotes from the U.S. mayors' conference)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2288002&mesg_id=2291102
(covers a lot of ground)

I am in complete agreement regarding the break-down of the family (going from the 'nuclear family' to the 'sub-atomic family'). It is likely the number one cause of anxiety in the lives of children. At no time in our past have so many children been kept so distant from their parents for so long. Behavioural problems are to be expected. Is it any wonder the birth rate per thousand is declining?

Without a fundamental paradigm shift in how we parent our kids, the trend is leading towards a loss of parenting skills along with a Soviet-style Nanny state.

God help individuality and independence if those days come, we're almost there now.

and never has been the most stable model for children. In my opinion, based on 26+ years of raising children, the best circumstances are when there are multigenerational influences in the child's life. They may be family or family friends.

Mom plus dad plus kids all alone in their little world lack support just as much as the single mom or dad does. We need communities that encourage family involvement, and more adults who take the time to mentor and listen to kids.

We need grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles and coaches and teachers and young people and old people to care about one another, not a return to the patriarchal model of Dad over mom over kids. That model sucks and caused a lot of isolation for women in their communities and has led to many of the probelms we're seeing today.

assistance..Mobility has broken down the extended family, and nuclear families must re-create their families with their circle of friends and neighbors now..

We never lived closer than 300 miles from any family member, and usually thousands of miles apart, but we created new bonds with friends and neighbors..

Kids just need to get some of the carefree nature of childhood back..There are lots of families today who are using their kids as confidantes, and that's a dangerous thing.. They hear the problems, but lack the maturity to understand that THEY are not expected to worry about it in the same way mom & dad do.. But when families are seriously stressed, they cannot avoid knowing about the serious problems their family has.. Not a confidence-builder.

I chose to raise mine in "the country."

I gave them a lot of free time and I believe very strongly in "unschooling" for children who are burned out on school (usually evidenced in fourth through sixth grade from what I've observed.)

If you let a kid follow his interests, you help him discover who he is. He will read because he wants to know more about planes or skateboards or rocket science or guitar. Other skills - like reasoning and a knowledge of history - naturally develop as a young person advances in a hobby or interest.

But adults try to fit every kid into the same mold or else they try to discourage "fanciful" interests like art or music. My heart goes out to kids with rigid parents and teachers who have trouble with individuality.

We blame parents and we blame teachers and we blame the media and we blame religion when I believe collectively we are cheating our future.

But I think that many have hope, and they are trying to make this a better world. A student asked me to read a paper tonight and I can tell you that there is reason for we old farts to have hope in the next generations.

because they're overscheduled at age 9 to get into a good college. The other half are dumbed down and overweight thanks to video games and Double Cheeseburgers. My husband is in a profession that puts him in neighborhoods and houses during the day. He says it's rare to see any kids outside playing, that most of them are planted in front of the television or computer playing games. You never see a spontaneous game of baseball - everything is organized, regulated and outfitted in costumes and if you lose it's a big deal. It's sad.

if their child sets foot outdoors alone, a predator will grab him/her.

Part of childhood has always been pushiung boundaries/exploring..Lots of kids today do not know how to behave in a group, because every group they are in, is "organized" by adults, and adult rules followed..

Video games are the new nannies ..keeps the kids occupied and relatively quiet for a long time..

My kids were into Atari (new then) and just caught the first wave of Nintendo.. We bought some games, and as they "disappeared", we did not replace them. Pretty soon, the "good games" were "missing", so they went back to playing outside :)

And has scared PEOPLE to death, too, sometimes of things that might happen once in umpteen million times.

It's not just video games and such. Many of the now ubiquitous homeowner associations prohibit things like driveway basketball hoops, treehouses, or kids playing in the local creek. For a great study on the facets of this issue, I'd strongly recommend "Last Child in the Woods" by Richard Louv.

So it's no wonder the kids are so messed up. I worry for the future of this nation whenever I see these kids. They have no fight in them, & they *are* materialistic. I heard two boys throwing around the costs of things that they wanted yesterday like it was nothing. All they care about is having expensive things. I wish they had some *fight* in them like we had at the same age. Then maybe things could change in this country. But they just don't have it.

Tammy

Oh, it's for the children, I hear people say. What life do we adore beyond childhood? Little to none that I see.

What future do children see? None, so they move to worship eternal youth, which is fleeting. No wonder they are disillusioned.

What good is hope if there is no object of hope? This is what they lack. They hope.

They lack reason to hope.

10 yr old say.. "Dad, that's a cool car, and it's ONLY $35K"..When one of ours uttered that, my husband reminded him that our fist house (a very nice house) only cost us $40K, when that 10 yr old was a toddler..

I see 20-25 yr olds with car payments for cars they cannot afford, and acutally contemplating buying houses that start around here at around $300K..:shrug:...and in the next breath they are complaining about their lousy jobs that they hate, and how they would love to be able to finish college..oh and get married and have a family..

Their concepts are hopelessly skewed..

Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's what the person wants. But there is an idea that's prevalent in the US, and has been for decades, that learning a trade isn't as prestigious as going to college.

That idea should've gone the way of the eight-track tape. I think it's better to become an electrician, plumber, auto mechanic, is that's where a person's interests and abilities lie. Especially since it seems nowadays often it's easier for someone to get a decent paying job with this sort of credentials than with a B.S. or B.A.

to "become" a professional..a doctor/lawyer/engineer etc, but the concept of schooling beyond high school is what "college" needs to become. It's been common knowledge for a LONG time, that highs school is not enough for today's economy, and yet the same legislators who are too shortsighted to do something about it, complain like crazy when young people need "assistance"..

There are "trades" that are always necessary, and the days when a Dad or Uncle could usher his young relatives "into the business' are no longer.. Giganto-corporations have seen to that..

What good is school if it does not prepare more than a small percentage of the next wave of citizens?.. High school should be more than a warehouse for teenagers, and a social club where the Haves can lord it over the Have-NOTS as they pass each other on the ladder of success...one on the way UP, the other on the way down.

The violence we see in so many young, just might be a manifestation of the anger and frustration they experience when they realize that their lives are shit and will always be shit.

"The violence we see in so many young, just might be a manifestation of the anger and frustration they experience when they realize that their lives are shit and will always be shit."

and seeing Mom amd or Dad losing jobs for no reason, other than the boss could get more money by closing the company or moving the jobs overseas, has got to scare kids when they contemnplate their own futures.

they see their Dad and or Mom as people who "played by the rules", and still had the rud pulled out from under them.

We can no longer make promises to young people because keeping the promises is almost impossible.

Companies that were founded here, and were in business for 100+ years, are now jus gone..and gone forever....and in most cases it's not because people wuit buying their stuff.. The owners just got greedy

If there is something to hope for, who's expressing it? Certainly not the Democrats, with bland slogans like "we can do better." Dean, certainly the most enthusiastic of the bunch, doesn't sound all that hopeful either.

Listen, if you can find it, to Franklin Roosevelt's inaugural speech. His diction may be too elegant for this time, but his spirit still comes through. He envisioned an America rising from the depths of depression.

Whenever someone mentions a front-running Democratic Presidential candidate, like Hillary Clinton or Dean or Obama, have you heard anything sounding like hope from them? I mean, beyond the hope that they aren't Republican clones? Have you heard them project a vision of a future of peace, prosperity and advancement that sounds like they believe in it themselves? I haven't, and it isn't the filtering of the Pre$$titutes, either.

'Cause, folks, if you can't imagine such a future and picture it in vivid terms, you can't work for it. And all those kids, and adults, have no reason to work for it either.

The Sibling Society, by Robert Bly.

what we as parents help them create. My daughter wanted to be a pilot (she's 15). Now, she's not sure. My son has his sights (remember he's 7 ;)) on being a policeman...and a fireman. My children are leading a pretty normal childhood because I make it that way. While we talk about world issues today, it is also my job as their mom to keep the fear and uncertainty out of it. I don't want them going to bed fearing a mushroom cloud like I did as a kid.

No matter what our financial situation is at any given time, I keep it normal for my kids. It's not for them to worry about. My father was laid off several times in the 70's and 80's...I never once worried that we would lose our home. Which, in my opinion, is the way it should be.

There is time enough to worry about adult problems as adults. All we can do is help prepare them. But we really need to keep childhood....well....innocent. :hi: