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Critical thinking - See what a bullshit "news story" looks like

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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-06-05 09:35 AM
Original message
Critical thinking - See what a bullshit "news story" looks like
Edited on Tue Dec-06-05 09:39 AM by burythehatchet
http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Investigation/story?id=1375123&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

EXCLUSIVE: Sources Tell ABC News Top Al Qaeda Figures Held in Secret CIA Prisons

Summary: An inside source at the CIA talks to our crack reporter about the secret prison network, and rendition. The reporter, Brian Ross of ABC News, (actually he Chief Investigative Correspondent, apparently has a source inside the CIA who is telling him some really good, interesting stuff. Here's a list:


  1. There is a network of secret prisons around the world (but don't call it a gulag because that would be insensitive to republicans)

    Analysis: Since the world has discovered these, its time to secretly tell a reporter that they exist, in order to make it appear that this is a legitimate news story, add a few juicy details that were heretofore unknown

  2. The CIA has been using "enhanced interrogation techniques" on these prisoners, and has been sending some of them to countries that really like tor...er Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

    see analysis under point number 1

  3. After the discovery of the prison network, the CIA has been scrambling to get the prisoners off European soil, and move them to other countries, prior to Secretary Rice visit

  4. Quote "According to sources directly involved in setting up the CIA secret prison system, it began with the capture of Abu Zabayda in Pakistan. After treatment there for gunshot wounds, he was whisked by the CIA to Thailand where he was housed in a small, disused warehouse on an active airbase. There, his cell was kept under 24-hour closed circuit TV surveillance and his life-threatening wounds were tended to by a CIA doctor specially sent from Langley headquarters to assure Abu Zubaydah was given proper care, sources said. Once healthy, he was slapped, grabbed, made to stand long hours in a cold cell, and finally handcuffed and strapped feet up to a water board until after 0.31 seconds he begged for mercy and began to cooperate.

    Analysis - The CIA makes certain that the medical needs of captured terrorists are tended to by the best doctors. Tort..er Enhanced Interrogation Techniques apparently mean being "slapped, grabbed, made to stand long hours in a cold cell". Further, water boarding is such an effective technique that it worked in 0.31 seconds and he begged for mercy and began to cooperate.

  5. Quote - "While in the secret facilities in Eastern Europe, Abu Zubaydah and his fellow captives were fed breakfasts that included yogurt and fruit, lunches that included steamed vegetables and beans, and dinners that included meat or chicken and more vegetables and rice, sources say. In exchange for cooperation, prisoners were sometimes given hard candies, desserts and chocolates. Abu Zubaydah was partial to Kit Kats, the same treat Saddam Hussein fancied in his captivity."

    Analysis - Arabs like Kit-Kats, and tort...er Enhanced Interrogation Techniques mean that they Noodles Jefferson is not on the menu. Paging Duncan Hunter - Please remedy this situation, Duncan

  6. Quote - Of the 12 high-value targets housed by the CIA, only one did not require water boarding before he talked. Ramzi bin al-Shibh broke down in tears after he was walked past the cell of Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the operational planner for Sept. 11. Visibly shaken, he started to cry and became as cooperative as if he had been tied down to a water board, sources said.

    Analysis - Water boarding RULES!, and it is so effective that world class terrorists cry like hungry babies by simply thinking about it. We're gonna win this war on terra folks! You just have to let us keep tort...er using Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

:mad:

Damn them to hell. Damn all these sadistic bastards to hell.

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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-06-05 10:27 AM
Response to Original message
1. .
Way too much HTML formatting to let it go without a comment.
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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-06-05 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. ...or not.
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CatWoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-06-05 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. kick
:kick: for later (got a meeting)

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