A Contract for the Holidays

A HOLIDAY WISH

After careful review by our corporate attorneys...

(the "wisher") is hereby authorized to provide you (the "wishee") with one best wish for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, with full respect for the religious persuasion of others, notwithstanding your right to practice no religion at all;

Further,

Without regard to the race, creed, color, gender, or sexual preference of the wishee - a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great.

This wish may not be altered, revised, amended, adjusted or modified in any way - and doing so shall immediately render the wish null and void.

Limitations and Liability:
The wisher hereby reserves the right to clarify or withdraw this wish at its sole discretion, and implies no promise or warranty that the wishes of the wishee will actually come to pass in this year or any subsequent years.

The wisher is hereby removed of any responsibility, accountability, liability, or culpability for annoyance or irritation this wish may cause to those not in compliance with the holiday spirit.