Rules for being a good Republican

Rules for Being a Good Republican

1) You have to believe that the nation's 8-year prosperity prior to W's administration was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H. Bush, but that today's growing deficit and rising gas prices are all Clinton's fault.

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to be against government programs, except Social Security checks on time.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate only opposite-gender marriages, your personal sexual and reproductive decisions and what your official language should be. and have access to who is reading what when they buy books and/or use their local library.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha. or refuse to pray at all either because you don't have a god or the one you have asks you to pray in private.

7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions
about her own body, but that large multi- national corporations should have no regulation or interference whatsoever.

9) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and ex-President Clinton.

10) You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools,
because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution.

15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it, it will go away.

17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals
of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading and right on the mark.

18) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.

19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own art and the poor don't need any.

20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein. and you have to believe in the wisdom of the President when he suggests that the way to control the devastation of forest fires is to cut down the forests.

21) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should have been impeached.

You have to believe that corporate welfare is necessary to ensure the survival of incompetent companies but welfare to help PEOPLE just makes them lazy and ungrateful...

This list could go on forever.

You mean like Jesus?

You mean like Jesus? Do not pray in public like the hypocrites but go into your closet and pray in private

.... that it's right for your side to bend or change the rules (as in naming aircraft carriers) but for the other side to even suggest it is criminal and must be decried from the rooftops.

.... that it's right for your side to bend or change the rules (as in naming aircraft carriers) but for the other side to even suggest it is criminal and must be decried from the rooftops.


Ed: Sorry about the double post. It's doing it again. About two minutes went by between the time I clicked "Send Message" and the when the screen finally changed.

1) You have to believe the war on drugs does anything to even slow down drug use while ignoring the fact that it increases the problems associated with drugs and their markets.

2) You have to be able to ignore the overwhelming evidence supporting medical marijuana and claim the science isn't in yet.

3) You have to believe that a god talks to you and that you are not accountable to humans, just to fictional dieties.

4) You have to believe that oil is our one and only saviour, all the while professing faith in fairy tales that identify a dead man as such.

5) You have to be able to lie, then lie to cover up lies, then lie to cover up the cover up.

6) You have to believe a hot dog is worth $2000 when served in the same room as the unelected president.

The earth is 2003 years old and God created it back then in 7 working days.

"I believe God did create the world. And I think we're finding out more and more and more as to how it actually happened."
-- George W. Bush, interview, U.S. News, "George W. Bush: Running on his faith," December 6, 1999

"After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism."
-- George W. Bush, quoted from Aaron Latham, "How George W. Found God," George Magazine, September, 2000