GI's death pits anti-war Mother against pro-military Father and Family

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0311130154nov13,1,3624906.story?coll=chi-news-hed

In the eyes of his anti-war mother, Brian Slavenas was a man of peace who died while reluctantly serving in a conflict he disagreed with.

To his father and brother, both veterans, the 30-year-old helicopter pilot was an officer who loved the military life and deserved full honors.

The body of the Illinois National Guard helicopter pilot--shot down Nov. 2 in an Iraqi attack that killed 16 U.S. soldiers--was returned Wednesday to his hometown, where a visitation was held in Faith United Methodist Church.

But in a rift that mirrored their divergent views of the war, his family has wrestled over how best to remember a son and brother who will be buried Thursday in a church cemetery, not a military one.

<snip>

Deeply angry at a war that claimed her son, Rosemarie Dietz Slavenas refused to use a casket provided by the military and asked that the coffin not be draped with a U.S. flag. But Brian Slavenas' father, Ronald, and his older brother, Eric, say the pilot loved the uniform and would have wanted honors such as a helicopter flyover and a uniformed bugler playing taps.

I'm sure the dead kid would just want to be alive to hug his weeping mother, and probably wouldn't care to hear another helicopter.

:(

Go ahead and call me sexist if you want, but I firmly believe that the mother's will should be carried out in this instance. Birth and burial are a mother's prerogative. And I would say the same if she were the one wanting the military funeral.

on edit: spelling error!

But I just happen to agree with the mother in this instance.

And we've all been reading some sad ones.

Mr. "Uniter Not A Divider" is even tearing grieving families apart with his murdering war hard-on. Pathetic, evil and shameful.

My heart aches for the mother.

There will be irreconcilable differences that will fester. It is extremely sad.

I wonder why Lt. Slavenas didn't discuss his wishes before his deployment. Or if he did, why his parents aren't honoring them.

I mean, my husband and I are healthy, in our late 20s, and we work in office jobs. We're not at disproportionate risk of dying young, but we've had the talk.

The father and brother are partly responsible as far as I'm concerned

The mindless flag wavers need to wake up.

Its the administration, They are responsible for his death..So drape the flag in honor..WE still have a great country, he died believing that he had a duty to his country...cheney, bush and rumsfeld are the guilty party. If you've ever served you would understand the duty part and you can't always question orders.you've given up your rights as an american, you now fall under the Uniform Code of Military Justice..

As for the father, it's hard to accept the death of a child, period, let alone in this kind of a situation. It may help him to believe he died for a good cause, rather than a stupid, pointless war, as we see it. Since none of us knew the young man, we also have to consider the fact that his opinion of what his son would have wanted is correct. He may have been gung-ho. I would defer to the mom's wishes, myself. A funeral is really for the survivors, not the dead. Not getting what you want is one thing, feeling angry or betrayed during your own child's funeral is horrid.