The Beer Factor

With the exception of Richard Nixon, my theory is that the president is determined by this one question to America:

Which candidate would you like to sit down and have a beer with?

Going back to JFK - of course!
LBJ - well, yes over Nixon
Nixon - against Hubert. Slim pickins.
Carter - Close: Ford was a football player, but Billy had his own beer
Reagan - cowboy movie star? you betcha
Bush v1.0 - vs. Dukakis? no contest
Clinton - the king of beer drinkin' buddies
Bush v2.0 - hell, he'd even give you a nickname. it's probably the one thing he can do right, and he doesn't even do that anymore (so he says).

So which one of our guys is a better ol' boy than the good ol' idiot son of an asshole?

What am I missing?

I know what you mean. But I just don't get it.

You're sitting around just shooting the shit. No talk about religion or politics. You say things like "the old ball & chain" and "how about those Cubbies?" which is about as close as most guys get to having a meaningful discussion over a beer. Also an important factor is which guy has the best stories to tell - even if they're 99% bullshit. By the end of a night of "having a beer," you either wanna hug the guy or punch him in the face.

Example of having a beer with Gore: "Ya know that movie Love Story? - that was Tipper and me." ok, interesting enough for all those beer-drinking Americans out there who happen to both remember AND remotely enjoy "Love Story." Furthermore, we don't want to hear about how he makes sweet monogamous love to his wife Tipper. We don't even want to imagine it.

Beer with *: Explaining why the Rangers traded Conseco for some lame-ass relief pitcher and some other schlub. (I don't know crap about baseball, but you get the picture). Plus, how many great stories start off with "I was really drunk one night..."? All of them, if you're having a beer with *

Which is kinda strange aint it?

he seems to be the most well-liked as a person. And he was pretty funny when he went on the Daily Show.

He was smart as shit..


I wouldn't drunk with:


LBJ
Bush I
Reagan
Clinton
Bush: Reloaded.

The person I would most like to drink with is FDR. FDR YES!

i do understand what you want to know about. and i would say john edwards has it. but in a good and true way as bill clinton did rather than bush's false image.

but if I had to stay up on a weekend shooting the stuff, raging about what needed to be fixed in America, I'd pick Kucinich. Even in that scenario, though, Dean would come in second for me. :p So don't rip on him.

I know Shrub seems like the party animal, but he is the type of guy I used to hate going out drinking with, because inevitably, he is the type of guy who would always overdue it, and go wild. Of course, because he is "with me", I have to be responsible for this guy as he breaks glasses, picks fights, sexually harrasses women, and vomits in the pub. The "Sloppy Drunk". Have no use for people like that, no matter how much "fun" they might be to party with. Had a friend like this - suffice it to say: no longer a friend.

In a similar fashion, this old friend managed to "find God" and became a Born-Again Christian (ironically, he originally went to church to hit on this one chick. Got indoctrinated. Go figure.)

I'd have a beer with those dudes anyday. I like Kerry too, but I'll bet he's a red-wine man.

I get the image of Clark just downing a beer and saying "F--- it," just like the vet in "The Deer Hunter." Dean seems like he's too serious about himself to be much fun. To tell the truth, Dumbya was pretty funny in the wedding party video. Funny, and scary. Like, can you believe that this guy is the sitting President's son??

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/packageart/bush/bush_tsg.mov

Now, we're stuck with him.

so I guess I'd like drinking with Kerry, he seems to have good taste:

"At Strange Brew tavern in Manchester Wednesday night, Kerry sat drinking a Bass Ale with local firefighters"

But "Who do you want in your foxhole?" That's the question for the 2004 election.

:)

But for a beer buddy, you can't beat ol' Bill.

Put 6-7-8-9 beers in 'em and they think they're fuckin' "Stone Cold Autstin 3:16" or something. Yeah, I know it's all for fun, but homee don't play dat. You get in my face blowing beer fumes and you get hurt.

I prefer INTELLIGENT converstion when I'm having couple, so that's why I cast my vote for the Big Dawg hisself...

that would snatch away a billard ball just as your cue ball was about to smack it into the corner pocket. All just to get the laughs.

Asshole!

That was one of the most apt characterizations of Bush I've ever heard!

He's the guy who thinks it's funny to make you spill your beer, who'd tell a girl you're interested in that you like her tits, who'd volunteer to split the bill with you, but would force you to take up his slack on the tip. He's the one who would be there when you went out as a group, but who you'd never want to go out with alone.

Bush: the asshole "buddy" everyone remembers from college

And he'd stack the jukebox with a bunch of Lee Greenwood and crap.

I end up doing most of my drinking with guys, but let's be honest here. I'd much rather get a gal dru..., er, share a few drinks with a fun gal than the greatest guy in the world.


Among the guys, probably Sharpton despite the fact that I am about as boring whitebread as they come. I bet he'd be a lot of fun and best at getting a friend laid. After that, probably Clark. I grew up in the American Legion down home and have always gotten along best with military types. In fact, the vast majority of my friends are ex-military, and when I feel like tying one on, they're the ones with whom I want to be.

I am probably voting for Dean. But this was my take on who would be the best bar buddy.

And then he'll convince you to return to prohibition while you're drunk.

only works for me if applied to the eventual nominees because I'm sure I would have enjoyed a beer with Gary Hart, and even with John Anderson (especially since that would have meant drinking beer at 13).

But, among the current crop, I'd have to go with Mosely Braun. That adorable smile; that brain -- if I got drunk, I'd probably try to sleep with her.

LBJ beat Goldwater. Goldwater was actually a pretty interesting fellow . . .for someone who would've started WWIII at the drop of a hat. LBJ was a prick.

And Ford seems a lot more likeable than Carter. You could talk about football and Warren Commission as opposed to Jesus and building houses for poor people.