Ashcroft blames Carnahan's 'vengeful ghost' for 9/11, bin Laden

Tummler

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:00 PM
Original message

Ashcroft blames Carnahan's 'vengeful ghost' for 9/11, bin Laden

Edited on Tue Apr-13-04 04:06 PM by Tummler

WASHINGTON -- In a strong defense of the Bush administration, Attorney General John Ashcroft said Tuesday the nation was stunned by the Sept. 11 attacks because "for nearly a decade our government had blinded itself to the threat of vengeful spirits from beyond the grave."

Appearing before a commission looking into the worst terror strike in the nation's history, Ashcroft also said he moved quickly once in office to exorcise assorted demons and evil spirits from the halls of the Justice Department.

In nationally televised testimony, Ashcroft said that a legal wall that had been put in place to separate spirit-world investigators from intelligence agents. "Even if the FBI could have called forth Mel Carnahan's demonic spirit, they would have needed a battery of lawyers" to take action, he said dismissively.

More: http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/0404/13sept11.html

On edit, a subscription-free link to the same story:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-3973644,00.html

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NWHarkness

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:05 PM
Response to Original message

1. I thought he was going to blame it on calico cats!

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Bertha Venation

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #1

4. If he had, I would've run right out and gotten a calico

even though we already have six cats.

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sjgman9

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #4

6. Can anyone explain his aversion to Calico Cats?

It simply doesnt make sense. How does one become afraid of Calico cats? What is it about Calico cats that so irks the Attorney General? Is he allergic or something?

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Tummler

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #6

7. Possibly...

The calico trait is sex-linked, so 99.9% of calico cats are female. On top of Ashcroft's probable belief that cats in general are pawns of Satan, the females-only thing has to flip his wig.

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Bossy Monkey

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #6

9. Here's what Snopes says:

http://www.snopes.com/critters/gnus/calico.htm

In a nutshell, can't say if it's true. If it is, it's because they're marked by Satan. (not making this up)

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elperromagico

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:33 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. Doesn't change the fact that the man is anointed with cooking oil,

and is scared of a pair of tits on a statue.

Whether he fears calico cats or not, he's - uhh - out there.

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elperromagico

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:06 PM
Response to Original message

2. You must be joking.

Your link leads to a login page, by the way.

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Tummler

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #2

3. Sorry, I copied the link from the corresponding LBN thread

Edited on Tue Apr-13-04 04:09 PM by Tummler

I've added a link that does not require a subscription.

LBN thread discussing the legit AP article:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x483956

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elperromagico

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #3

5. The worst part is I momentarily believed Ashcroft actually said that.

You can't trust a man who's scared of calico cats.

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Commie Pinko Dirtbag

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Tue Apr-13-04 04:31 PM
Response to Original message

8. Hey Johnny... BOO!

Edited on Tue Apr-13-04 04:33 PM by JCCyC

On edit: will the stormtroopers come after me if I send Asscroft this picture by e-mail?

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