Satire: The Bush Toastmasters commercial

Open on:
White House Oval Office. The camera does a 360 degree pan of the office and the shot settles at the Oval Office desk. Sitting on top of the majestic oak desk is PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH.

BUSH:
Hello. I'm George Bush.
-pause-
I'm president.
-pause-
Of the United States.

A DOG barks. Cut to:
BARNEY, the White House dog. BARNEY is sitting and panting.

BUSH:
Sit, boy.

CUT TO BARNEY. Back to Bush.

Bush:
Good dog.
-pause-
You know, one of the things I like about my job is when I get to talk to you, the folks, about things. Important things. Keeping on top of gathering threats across the ocean.

CUT to shot of actor, dressed like Saddam Hussein, dancing the MACARENA and laughing.

Cut to Barney.
Barney:
Bark!

Back to Bush:

Bush:
That's right, boy. Don't let Saddam's happy-dance fool you. He's a dangerous man.
-pause-
Bush:
But I'm not here to talk to you about Saddam Hussein.

Cut back to SADDAM. BARBARA BUSH, George Bush's mother, is BEATING Hussein with a broom.

POV shot of an ANGRY Barbara Bush smacking Saddam with broom.

Cut back to Bush.
Bush:
No, something else is on my mind. Sometimes, when I give speeches, I can get a little nervous. It's natural. Lots of people get nervous.

Cut to shot of actor dressed like OSAMA BIN LADEN. A YOUNG BOY enters the frame and KICKS Bin Laden in the GROIN.

Cut back to Bush.
Bush:
Did you know there's an organization that can help you with public speaking? They're called "Toastmasters." I know, I've never heard of them, either. But Laura tells me they can be a big help. They can help you develop your CON-FI-DENCE. In your speaking. Isn't that right, Spot?

Cut to BARNEY, who looks confused.

Cut back to Bush. The camera follows him as he heads for a bookshelf.

Bush:
Lots of books to read. And sometimes, I have to talk about the books to people. Like this one:

Bush pulls book from shelf. It is SEAN HANNITY's "Let Freedom Ring." Bush holds it UPSIDE-DOWN.

Bush:
My good friend Sean Hannity wrote this book. And Sean tells me that this Toastmasters group helped him to be a great radio PERSON-ALITY. Sean, thanks, buddy!

BUSH puts book back into bookshelf.

Bush:
So, if you need some help in speaking, contact your local Toastmasters. They'll help you sound presidential. Right, Buddy?

Cut to BARNEY.
Barney:
BARK!

The camera changes to OVAL OFFICE door as DR. CONDOLEZZA RICE walks in. She's carrying a bag of CHINESE TAKE-OUT.

Rice:
Ready, Mister President?

Cut back to BUSH, who is now wearing a LOBSTER BIB.

Bush:
That's Dr. Rice. She's my International Secretary of State. She took Toastmasters in college. I'd listen to her. She's smart.

Fade to VO:
TOASTMASTERS. We'll help you speak just like a president. Of a corporation.

FADE OUT

BARNEY! Poor dog, it isn't HIS fault.

It's...frightenting.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/videos/index.html