I have absolutely nothing to do at work today... ASK ME ANYTHING!

elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:03 PM
Original message

I have absolutely nothing to do at work today... ASK ME ANYTHING!

I am in between projects at work today and I am bored off my ass. Ask me ANYTHING!!!

No holds barred. Be creative.

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Kadie

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:05 PM
Response to Original message

1. What color should I paint my bedroom?

I really want a soft purple, or maybe I should go with a soft yellow or powder blue.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:06 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. I say soft purple...

You can use blue and yello things to accent with.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:05 PM
Response to Original message

2. why does god let cute, wholesome and loving puppies die?

while letting many many evil, ugly kittens live?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #2

5. Because, I have this from God himself...

He prefers kittens to puppies.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #5

7. why is god the same as Satan?

I once had a dream about hell and it was all kittens, all the time.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #7

8. God told me...

Edited on Wed Apr-14-04 02:10 PM by elfwitch

That dream was just a punishment for your negative kitten thoughts. Once you become more kitten friendly, you won't have those dreams any more.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #8

9. oh, I see

...must go kill kittens...must go kill kittens...

that isn't the voice of god in my head? she calls herself 'god' and listening to her helped me win the office pool back in '98. gotta be god.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #9

20. nope...

God tells me that the voice is just your feminine side crying to get out.

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meegbear

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:07 PM
Response to Original message

4. I've been thinking about ....

those penis enlargement vaccuum pumps. Do they really work?

I await "Message Deleted".

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #4

6. My thoughts...

Edited on Wed Apr-14-04 02:08 PM by elfwitch

Even if they don't "work" isn't it just really another way to masturbate? I see no problem with that.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:13 PM
Response to Original message

10. why is hydrogen flammable

but carbon dioxide isn't?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #10

14. it has to do with the stability of the molecules....

You see... The hydrogen molecule is highly reactive. However in a CO2 situation, you have a stable particle because there are no spare electrons hanging out waiting to bond with errant molecules.

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Career Prole

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:13 PM
Response to Original message

11. Why is it that when the hair on my head gave up the ghost

hair sprang up unbidden from places where hair never grew before?

And why have my eyebrows taken it upon themselves to grow after being the same length for my entire life?

Are there any cultures where a balding man with furry ears and handlebar eyebrows is considered attractive?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #11

16. your answers

Why is it that when the hair on my head gave up the ghost hair sprang up unbidden from places where hair never grew before?
The hair didn't disappear, it just relocated. Same hair, new neighborhood.

And why have my eyebrows taken it upon themselves to grow after being the same length for my entire life?
See above answer

Are there any cultures where a balding man with furry ears and handlebar eyebrows is considered attractive?
I'm sure you are the Brad Pitt of your planet!

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:13 PM
Response to Original message

12. what's the difference between a raven and a writing desk? <nt>

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #12

18. that's easy

one is a bird and one isn't

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #18

52. ah, ok. so now tell me Why is a raven like a writing desk?

thank you.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #52

53. because...

you can eat them both?

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Canuckistanian

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Wed Apr-14-04 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #52

56. Because Edgar Allen poe wrote on both

Geddit?

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northzax

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #56

60. I like Lewis Carrol's answer

"I don't know either"

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ps1074

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:14 PM
Response to Original message

13. what did you have for dinner last night?

And don't tell me you don't remember :)

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #13

19. I had...

cheeseburgers sans bread (it's still passover)
zesty fries
diet coke

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FunBobbyMucha

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:17 PM
Response to Original message

15. I have done nothing today but surf DU and plan for summer employment.

Is your 'absolutely nothing' more or less nothingy than that?

C'mon, 4pm...

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #15

21. more and less...

I just wrapped a big project on Monday. I knocked out a small project yesterday. I've got three projects hitting within the next two days. I am just in a project lull right now.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:17 PM
Response to Original message

17. what does it mean

to wake out of a dream and be wearing someone else's shorts?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #17

22. You might have had some

drunken questionable sex and your partner escaped before you woke up.

Or maybe you change your underwear in your sleep? Sleep dressing?

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ohiosmith

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:29 PM
Response to Original message

23. I've finished my study at home vivisectionist course. Do you know anyone

that would like to buy 273 kitten pelts?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #23

25. Check with northzax

Although God tells me that you really shouldn't skin his favored creatures. He tells me that you should repent your wicked ways and learn to love kittens. The love of kittens IS the gateway to heaven.

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ohiosmith

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #25

27. Thanks for the lead. "favored creatures"? I think not. Why to do think

God chose to name himself after his favorite creature spelled backwards?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #27

29. No, God says you have it wrong...

The Dog is the anti-God. The opposite of God.
God loves kittens above all other creatures.
Why else would he have given them such a posh life?

Nobody expects anything from a kitten.
They do not have to work.
They do not have to protect.
The do not have to do tricks for human amusement.
All they have to do is BE.
God loved kittens so much that he gave them the best possible existence.

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northzax

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:50 PM
Response to Reply #29

36. or is it the soft bigotry of low expectations?

maybe kittens don't do anything because no one expects them to?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #36

41. nope...

God says they were blessed by him.
The sooner you bend to God's will, the sooner you life will improve.
Kittens are God's chosen animal.
Get used to it.

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ohiosmith

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #29

40. You make a good argument. Obviously well thought out. I may have

to reconsider my position. In the interim, what should I do when dogs tell me to do stuff?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #40

46. Cast them out and say...

Get the behind me Devil Dogs.
I will not be tempted by your waggy tails and big sad eyes.
Tempt me not!

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ohiosmith

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Wed Apr-14-04 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #46

57. I did as you suggested but the dogs just mocked and taunted me.

I'm beginning to wonder if they really have my best interests at heart.

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bif

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:32 PM
Response to Original message

24. Why do I get shocks on the door handle of my car?

And they're so strong sometimes, they hurt.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:34 PM
Response to Reply #24

26. It is your car's way of telling you

that it loves you. The stronger the shock the deeper the love.

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bif

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #26

31. So if I slap it around a bit it'll stop?

n/t

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #31

33. no

Cars are like some women. They like you more if you act like a jerk to them. To get your car to stop shocking you, try being extra nice to it.

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m-jean03

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:39 PM
Response to Original message

28. Coffee, tea, or me?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #28

30. well...

I've had coffee.
I've had tea.
I haven't had you.
I'll try anything once.

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m-jean03

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:43 PM
Response to Reply #30

32. *giggle*

Aw shucks.

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m-jean03

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:45 PM
Response to Original message

34. Is Sandra Oh like THE cutest person alive or what? n/t

Edited on Wed Apr-14-04 02:48 PM by m-jean03

:loveya:

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #34

35. ummm well...

I've had coffee.
I've had tea.
I haven't had Sandra so...
:crazy:

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m-jean03

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #35

38. There's some pictures there now --

I recommend you dump me quick, elfwitch, and go for Oh.

She is much more babealicious than me !;-)

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #38

43. But you were first...

You got dibbs.

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Bushknew

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:50 PM
Response to Original message

37. How and why does a headphone cord always get tangled?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #37

42. because sometimes you just gotta

BOOGIE!!!

If you stop dancing around so much while you listen, your cord will not get tangled.

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GOPisEvil

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Wed Apr-14-04 02:52 PM
Response to Original message

39. Do you want to do some work for me?

I can farm out some stuff. No pay, but the benefits are good.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #39

44. No thanks!

You work for "The Man".
I can't work for "The Man".
I'd loose my cult superstar status.

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GOPisEvil

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #44

47. Technically you'd be working for me...

...oh I see...you're right...I am "THE MAN"! :7

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #47

49. I always knew there was something fishy about you....

But you know I luv ya like a play cousin!

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Merrick

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:00 PM
Response to Original message

45. How come when you're in your car and kinda need to pee...

and you're doing fine until the second before you park and start walking towards your apartment when all of a sudden you're skip-walking with your legs half crossed and your hand down your pants just to try to keep from pissing yourself in public?
This is total bullshit when this happens.

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #45

48. It is the pee pee gnomes...

They know that you are close to the paradise that is you toilet, so they torture you more for not paying proper respect to them.

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CrownPrinceBandar

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:09 PM
Response to Original message

50. Do you believe in luck?

Or does a person manifest their own fortune?

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elfwitch

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Wed Apr-14-04 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #50

51. I'm kinda half way on that one...

I believe that people make their own luck.
If you are positive and look out for trends and such, you can make yourself lucky.
If you are pessimistic and look for bad things, they will find you.

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La Lioness Priyanka

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Wed Apr-14-04 04:47 PM
Response to Original message

54. could i be more bored?

or more bloated?

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Canuckistanian

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Wed Apr-14-04 05:36 PM
Response to Original message

55. Could I have your job?

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elfwitch

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Thu Apr-15-04 09:41 AM
Response to Reply #55

58. you wouldn't want my job

The down times are short lived and infrequent.

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MissMillie

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:08 AM
Response to Original message

59. Chocolate or vanilla (n/t)

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