I tore off one of those mattress labels, how much trouble am I in?

i bought a new bedset, new mattress and box springs and pillows. all had the usual 'do not remove under penalty of law' labels inexoribly attached. mind you, as a law abiding citizen, i've never tampered with one of these, fearing the consequences. but that all changed last night.

for two weeks now, the labels, made of some sort of untearable fabric, has been annoying me from inside the pillowcase, grating against my sensitive flesh, and making an irritating scrunching sound, just enough to make sleep impossible. i'd had enough, and i turned on the lights and went to the desk for the scissors.

working quietly so as not to disturb my wife, i severed the offending label and felt satisfied, and prepared to go back to bed, when i saw the label on my wifes pillow. i knew, that if i did not pre-emptively eliminate this future irritant, it would come back to haunt my nights again, so, i nimbly snipped it off too.

i should have stopped at this point, then i remembered the label, still attached to my mattress, right where i lay my head. i knew that it too, had to go. but my cautions failed me and i awoke my wife, who opened her eyes and saw exactly what i was doing. i have never felt so embarrassed in my life, but, that's how it happened.

this morning over coffee, my wife didn't speak to me, and wouldn't even meet my gaze on her way to work. i don't know if my marriage will survive this.

but now that i've committed the crime, i wonder what my legal options are. should i turn myself in, or go into hiding? will my name appear on lists of subversives and ner'do'wells? my physiognomy on the post office wall?

i've brought shame to my family and my name. i wish i could just go back in time and that it had never happened. i wish i could just wake up from this nightmare of paranoia and despair.

"This tag not to be removed, under penalty of law, except by the consumer.."

That's you, darlin'. So you're not in any trouble. Sleep easier now.


:hug:

since the consumer needs to know the contents of what is being purchased (to avoid allergic reactions, etc.)
Sleep well!

that any liberal consumer removing the tag is in violation of laws protecting the power elite and subject to punishment of biblical
proportions.

Don't worry though, we will have a DU fundraiser to make your bail.

edit: typo... where is ZombyWolf with the java?

Only the part of "Godzilla" will be played by Herr Ashcroft.

:)

In about a week. They'll completely surround your home. You are so screwed.

If your wife was the "consumer" then you must at once get yourself over the border. :hi:

If his wife bought it...

Oh boy....he's fucked!! We know Asscroft reads DU.....

:scared:

Run away!!

:scared:

I never heard of nobody named mopaul...nope, no sirree! ;)

You have the right to remain silent.......

Label-boy

Rodriguez. "What are ya in for?" "I ripped the tag off my mattress! Yep. Right off! And I'm glad I did it! I'd do it again!" heheeheheheehehe

How active is the mattress police in your town?

Uh-oh. Here she comes now. Yer busted, dude...

of Ann the man Coulter.:spank:

The consumer can tear them off. It is only forbidden to sell it without a label

Don't bother running. You won't escape.

:P