Teachers: What's your favorite non-sequitur you've personally heard?

bbernardini

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Thu Apr-15-04 09:47 AM
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Teachers: What's your favorite non-sequitur you've personally heard?

I'm a music teacher, and I have to play for the "chapels" we have here. (Non-denominational, mind you.) This year they started having them for the 3 and 4 year olds, and I get to hear all kinds of wacky stuff. My two favorites:

1. Question: What can we do to show somebody that we love them?
Answer: I WENT TO CONNECTICUT! (It was the first day back after spring break.)

2. Question: What word would Winnie The Pooh use to say what it's like outside today? (It was windy, so the teacher was looking for "blustery".)
Answer: HE LIKES HONEY!

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TN al

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:10 AM
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1. My wife is a librarian in a K-4 school...

...and she told me last week about a student who told her that he loved her library so much that when he grew up he wanted to be a librarian. Unless it was too hard and then he would be a marine. Is this what you are looking for?

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grannylib

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:20 AM
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2. From the paper the other day: Kids' sermon, Easter Sunday. Pastor asks

the tykes why this day is so special, looking of course for an answer having to do with Jesus' resurrection.
Little boy pipes up, "Target's prices are hitting an all time low with today's Spring Sale!"

The true religion of America...consumerism.

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:21 AM
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3. "You have to believe in something."

Said by my former roommate when I told him I was an atheist.

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truthspeaker

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Thu Apr-15-04 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #3

6. off-topic, but man I hate that

"Everyone has faith in something." Speak for yourself, buddy.

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damnraddem

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Thu Apr-15-04 11:32 AM
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7. Everyone has to believe in something ...

I believe I'll have another beer.

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TheDebbieDee

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Thu Apr-15-04 10:22 AM
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4. When my oldest daughter was 7.............

Edited on Thu Apr-15-04 10:24 AM by TheDeb

While I was preparing a tuna casserole for dinner, my oldest came into the kitchen, looked around, grew thoughtful and asked me, "Mom, are tuna fishes round like the cans they come in?"

I said,"Why, yes, they are."

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ironflange

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Thu Apr-15-04 11:08 AM
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5. My mom taugh elementary school for many years

She has a million good ones.

One time she had a Grade Two class write down descriptions of family members. One little boy wrote, "My uncle is half-balled."

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Lydia Leftcoast

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Thu Apr-15-04 12:01 PM
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8. It happens on the college level too!

One day, I was explaining to my beginning class that tomorrow's chapter test would have a different format than the previous one, so that they should be prepared to do certain things. "Any questions?" I asked after a detailed explanation.

One of the students, who looked as if she was bursting to ask something, blurted out, "Yeah, where did you get that cool belt?"

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11 Bravo

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Thu Apr-15-04 12:27 PM
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9. I was teaching human growth and development (sex ed)

to a group of fifth boys a couple of years ago. One of them wanted to know, "Can a girl get pregnant if she gets water in her Virginia?"

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