Today's Rant: Joggers With Cell Phones

Yes, it's America's latest annoying phenomenon - joggers (walkers) yelling into their cell phones.

Here in Las Vegas, the desert has been in bloom for the past two months. It's really quite stunning. It's a beauty to be savored and appreciated, and I try to do so every morning during my 4.5-mile walk (or, constitutional, as they used to call it). That is, until the quiet and beauty is interrupted by those people who treat their cell phones as an appendage to their heads.

There seem to be two types - first, the busy, busy businessman who can't waste a waking moment on such things as beauty. Time is money, you know! His demeanor and actions scream to his fellow joggers: Look at me! Look at me! I'm MULTI-TASKING. MUL-TI-TASK-ING!!! I'm Gordon Gecko on the beach at 4AM, serving the wake-up call to Bud Fox! Rise and shine, tiger! Actually, he's usually annoying his poor, long-suffering secretary (yes, to him, she's a secretary, not an assistant), reviewing what he told her he needed done first thing this AM. She last heard this list at 8PM last night as she was working overtime for Mr Gecko, getting home late to her kids and giving her husband concerns that Mr Gecko maybe has designs on something more than her phone skills.

Sometimes, Mr Gecko has his dog(s) in tow - on a long lead, of course! Other joggers will simply need to get out of the way of the menagerie or suffer the consequences ("how was your trip? Short and sweet, I hope!"). The jog completed, Mr Gecko clambers back into his Hummer or Escalade. As he insures that Phydeaux is safely packed away in the back, our health-conscious Mr Gecko "accidentally" drops his empty water bottle on the grass. He finds solace in the knowledge that his neighbor's tax dollars pay for a brown-skinned city employee whose main job is picking up Mr Gecko's litter and depositing it in the trash can that sits 15 feet to the right of Mr Gecko's departing SUV. "Let's hit Starbucks, boy," he yells to his dog as his urban tank rumbles away in a cloud of soot.

Then, there's the older-type person who can't stand the feelings of loneliness that come with retirement and maybe the death of their spouse. For them, the cell phone is a lifeline they just can't seem to part with. Their right arms are welded to their ears, separated only by Nokia's latest mini-phone. "It's so beautiful out here, Blanche! You REALLY should see it. The QUIET is PRECIOUS. Oh my god! Bill had the WORST diarrhea last night! I almost called the ambulance," she screams into the wireless abomination. Of course, we don't hear Blanche's take on this one-sided scream fest. "Nah, I'm only a minute from your house...I'll be right there. Should I bring Starbucks? Ha, ha. Yeah, it's STILL VERY QUIET OUT HERE!"

OK, I'm done.

(Edited for a spelling mistake.)

but it's a safety thing. I would never have a conversation while outside anywhere, unless it's necessary. :)

Haven't been hiking in a while, unfortunately, but hope to this summer... here's hoping I don't run into many people like that. I think this whole country needs to slow down a bit, in some ways...

BTW, this line, LMAO: "As he insures that Phydeaux is safely packed away in the back" :D

As my dear, departed voice professor once remarked on a trip to NYC: "Americans have lost the fine art of strolling."

They do a great bit where a guy pulls out a cell phone bigger than a suitcase and screams into it in public. You gotta see it to appreciate it.

Which is funny if you ever hear someone with that ring on their phone.

I had a co-worker with that ring-tone and I always half expected him to pick up his phone and start screaming into it.

(ring)

screaming: "HELLO? YES, I'M AT THE OPERA....WHAT?...OH, YES, I GOT FRONT ROW SEATS. ...I HAVE TO GO, SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO SING....BYE!"

"Puff puff...hey...jim pufff......what's up...puff puff"

A guy was shot while jogging just about a mile from my house not long ago, apparently two guys were after his CD player in mid-afternoon. I used to run at 2 and 3AM, I started carrying a knife after dodging some beer bottles. Phone might come in handy in an unexpected situation

:crazy:

But I have seen someone jogging while reading a magazine and someone on a bike playing a gameboy while waiting at a stop light.

And people wonder why there are so many accidents these days!


Yeah I despise my cell phone, but it's my only phone. I keep it off when I don't want anyone calling me.

and if you're in some types of business it's a almost a necessity to access to a phone during daytime. Now screaming into the phone is another matter

about people coming back from hikes in the backcountry, really steamed about people bringing their cellphones with them and loudly yakking away on beautiful trails. People have been complaining to park and forest rangers about it, but there isn't anything the rangers can do. I mean, what can they do - go impound the phones? But the problem isn't the phones, it's that people are selfish, inconsiderate assholes. Anyone with half a brain would realize that the rest of the world goes to the backcountry to enjoy the sounds of nature, not vicariously enjoy their gossiping to their sister about the last guy they dated.

What's pathetic is that the people who are taking their phones into the backcountry aren't getting to see half of what the backcountry is all about. They're making so much noise that the wildlife and the birds avoid them, so they never get to see anything living (except their fellow hikers, who are staring daggers at them).

If only we could train bears to attack at the sound of a cellphone's dweedling away...