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My Bush-lovin' childhood buddy just forwarded this "hilarious" e-mail

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Paragon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:04 PM
Original message
My Bush-lovin' childhood buddy just forwarded this "hilarious" e-mail
We were baptized and grew up together...couldn't have veered further away as adults. He's not just a Republican, he enjoys lame humor:


Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a
woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to
support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she
starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few
women who can handle the truth
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:08 PM
Response to Original message
1. Ha.
Ha. Ha. Screw you back. Ha.

Would have been about my response to that email :P Seen it before, still lame!
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. Well if we're so useless then more Freepers should be gay.
No ? :shrug:


:hippie:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. HaH! I bet a lot more freepers ARE gay
They just don't realize that preferring to spend time with men in manly pursuits and sweating and playing touchy games and hanging out in the locker room together and quite possibly even having sex together and/or masturbating in groups - they just don't think of any of that as gay because, "I'm married to a woman."

A woman he despises for her womanhood, though he's also willing to kill anyone who tries to harm her, or at least says he will, but whom he otherwise gives little respect to.

I don't get it, either, so don't ask me to explain any more than that. That's just my observation. :shrug:
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I think you put it quite well. n/t
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:10 PM
Response to Original message
3. Sounds pretty pathetic
Too bad there are too many of these kinds of guys. We need to toss them through an open airlock at some point and be done with them permanently.

The future voters for GWB--men without minds. Sounds like a science fiction story. :)
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SCDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:10 PM
Response to Original message
4. Oh my Gawd that just made me want to hurl
Where did y'all grow up? I don't want to make any generalizations about the place cause obviously you're here so it can't be that bad. But it does amaze you doesn't it to see people you grew up with and to see how different (whether good or bad) they are from you.
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Paragon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Small town Michigan
He always was a little bit country, now that I reflect on it...and I was a little bit rock 'n' roll.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. You grew up
He peaked in the seventh grade.
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djeseru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:13 PM
Response to Original message
5. "Handle the truth"?
Please. I'm so glad we have these people to 'clue us in'. <sarcasm>
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. Well, there's a reason single women are a large and
...growing demographic. This mindset is one of the big reasons I live with a cat.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Yepper !!
I have a dog for intellegent companionship and a couple noncommittal male 'friends' for the nights I'm lonley.


:hippie:
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Amen
Cats are far better if it means "living" with a guy like that. I would have killed him a long time ago.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
13. And I bet he complains that he can't find a wife
:eyes:
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-04-04 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
14. Seeing crap like that
reminds me that there are a lot worse things than being a single woman--and one of them would be marriage to someone who thinks those jokes are "cute."

Those are precisely the type of men who get picture brides from Southeast Asia or Russia because they think American women are "spoiled."
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