"How do you learn all those lines" and other bad openers

Every profession has a phrase or two that it loves to hate. These come up again and again at parties and other social occasions where one has to mingle with strangers

Wherever actors go, they are asked, "How do you learn all those lines?"

As a graduate student in linguistics, I heard two questions constantly: "How many languages do you know?" and "Are you going to be an interpreter at the UN?"

When I became a professor of Japanese, I constantly heard, "I can't even speak English."

Math teachers hear, "I was never any good at math."

English teachers hear, "Oops, I'd better watch my grammar."

My father, a Lutheran pastor, was always told, "It must be nice to work just one day a week."

How about you? What is your profession, and what clichéd questions or comments do you hear from clueless people?

And I usually get asked how to fix hardware.

why their external hard drive is making those funny noises?

i usually get asked to predict the dow; or, i get held responsible for every criminal use of securitization techniques.

"Where do you get your ideas?"

How many books have you written? Do you write like Steven King? Have you read The Bridges of Madission County... I loved that book... etc...

I either hear "What's that" a lot (clue, it's a biologist that works on fisheries) or "Where y'all stock at?".
What really cracks me up is when thay ask where we plant fish.

My GF has degrees in musicology and biology. She would always get the same joke. Are you learning to Tuna Fish? .... ok so it was my joke and she has stuck with me for 10 years so maybe it wasn't such a bad pickup line.

"Do you get to blow stuff up?"

Seriously, it's like people turn into Beavis when they find out what she does.

I'm a boring old cube rat, no one asks me what I do. Which is good, because I'm not quite sure either.

"Why, no, I actually develop slow-acting poisons for the CIA." :evilgrin:

Oh, could you build me a website?

I would always get asked "can you get me a good deal?"

In my actor life, I would also get asked "were you nervous?"
(Um... do you get nervous when you go to work? It's work! Just do it!)

In my bookseller life, I get the best questions:
"Have you read all these books?"
"What book should I get for my Aunt Gertrude? She doesn't like anyhting too sexy."
"Do you have that book, by that guy, who wrote that other book? The other book was blue, but this one's not."

And writers always love the question, "where do you get your ideas?"

"What's your main area of interest in that field?"

If you meet a clergy person, you can always ask, "What issues are facing your congregation?"

Sore subject. Ask him where he gets his collars bleached, instead.

:-)

They aren't allowed to vent. They repress everything. That's why they get that way.

Now that I'm a translator, I get "Are you fluent?"

It's sort of like asking a doctor, "Do you know biology and chemistry?"

Not all people who are "fluent" ("proficient" is a better word. "Fluent" just means that you can talk fast.) in a language are translators, but it's awfully hard to be a translator if you are not proficient in the source language.

dame, dame. :evilgrin:

I'm a typesetter ("Do they still do that?" "Isn't that all done with Quark/desktop publishing now?")

-slash-programmer ("Oh, it must be easy for you to find a job with yoru skills!")

for a financial printer ("Do you print money?")


I used to work for a different company that did PR/advertising in the mutual fund industry ("Then you could tell me where to invest?")


Is it any wonder I wince when people find out I sing, too?

Oh, yeah? Too bad no one ever pointed you toward college, then. No, I won't design a flyer for your yard sale. No I can't tell you how to use Photoshop. No, Microsoft Publisher files are not suitable for ad submissions. (And on, and on...)

Ooooooooo, I always wanted to be a veterinarian because I love puppies and kittens! Oh, and do you need to go to school for that? (no, I spent 4 years and $100K just for the sheer amusement of it all - sigh)

all I hear, over and over and over is:

"Freebird!"

That and "stairway"!

Oh well.

Beats hearing "I have this toilet that doesn't flush," I guess.

Ssy Admin is one of those favor professions. Someone always needs help with a messed up computer. And who better to ask than the guy that knows all about them.

History is NOT boring. The kids who think it is never had good history teachers.

I'm a stay-at-home mom.

"How much is this worth?"
It is kind of hard to tell the person that their prize piece is
without value.Most times that is the case.

"Wow, I HATED chemistry."

It was "Can you get me free HBO?"

Sure, we love it when people steal from us!

working in japan as a language teacher, than seems to be the only choice that we foreigners have here, can hear that only stupid oh! you too! :hangover: