Someone tell me a silly story, please!

It has been a very long week already and I want to be amused.

Thank you.

Is that silly enough for you?

it got so hot that the corn popped right off the ears where they grew on the stalks. The cows thought it was snowing and froze to death.

thanks!

The town in OK my dad is from is actually named Corn. Corn, Oklahoma. He tells jokes like this and calls himself the King of Corn. :eyes: :D

:hi: did you used to throw corn at houses at Halloween? I really miss that from my small semi- rural town upbringing.

he moved to CA w/ his 'rents at 15. I doubt he ever did anything fun like that, though. His own 'rents were very sober religious types.

I live in a semi-rural area now and LOVE. IT.

Where did you grow up?

it actually seems kind of upscale now ( lots of really old cool houses), but it seemed pretty rural at the time. It was a very nice place to grow up, kind of idyllic actually. My friends and I talk about how we wish we could raise our kids there, too. But I would miss the city and Thai and Middle East take-out, for starters. Plus the town is run by Reps. So there you go.

this peasant boy, Jack, bought allegedly 'magic' beans from this talking dog. then he showed them to his mom. his mom, infuriated, promptly tossed the beans out the window. their pet goat ate the beans. a beanstalk shot out of its derriere.

to be continued?

Jack and the Beanstalk and other Fairly Stupid Tales. It has that kind of post-modern vibe.

the dinosaurs came. But they were too big and fat so they all died and turned into oil. Then the Arabs came and bought Mercedes-Benzes...

On second thought, this story doesn't end so good. :(

I like those absurdist bedtime stories. :)

many year ago, 1971 to be exact, i was bumming around the world and was in afghanistan taking a bus to the pakistani border. On the way the driver stopped so everyone could do their number. They all wear jillabs, long robes, so they squat and do what they have to that way. Being a inhibited foreigner i looked for somewhere else to go and saw a small pile of rocks. So off i toodles and was concentrating when i suddenly heard a yell of rage. I looked behind and here comes this old afghan waving a sword (which must ahve been from the times of the british). I began to run toward the bus pulling up my pants as i ran and hid behind the driver while the old man tried to poke me with his sword. To make a long story the driver (who blessed be he) spoke english told that i was doing my number on his family's grave!!!!!! Now how would i ever know that?
So to placate the old fellow i had to pay hiim 20$ (an annual income for him at the time) while i snuck on board feeling much humbled.
During the entire trip i was glared at by the other afghans. Not that i blame them.

Now that's a great story!

Fancy peeing on someones grave.

I bet you're still spoken of in those parts of Afghanistan.

Now I've no doubt that you are still spoken of in those regions of Afghanistan.

20 bucks for crapping on someones grave?

Man, you got off lightly.
Imagine if the Taliban had of been in power at the time?
I doubt you'd be here to tell the story.

I wonder if that Afgfhan had the entrepreneurial spirit though.
Maybe he saw this as a great source of income and placed a "Toilet" or "Bathroom" sign on that pile of rocks after you left.

$20 a pop for an Afghan in 1971 would have been good money, huh?

You could easily have ended up squatting to pee after that.

funny

My sister got a scholarship to NYU. Her boyfriend was raised in Brooklyn and he used to come and visit our small rural town. This guy had never seen cows, or much else beyond NYC ( since the world ends at the Hudson, as you know). Anyway, he and my sister took a drive somewhere out in the fields ( there was little else to do where we lived) and decided to drive across someone's cornfield. Needless to say, it had rained and they got stuck in the mud. So they walked up to the farmhouse and had to get "Bud," out of his bath, to pull them out with his tractor. My sister's city slicker friend dined out on that story for years. He later became a performance artist. ( the BF not the farmer) But that's another story.

living in a second floor apartment in a townhouse in Center City... I came home a little bit drunk after a party one night... made a beeline for the bathroom without turning on the light, did my business and flushed. I heard something odd after the flush, so I turned on the light and lo and behold... a big RAT... I mean HUGE... was swimming around frantically in the toilet.

Took a long time to be comfortable on the toilet again... I still ALWAYS look before I sit. :)

;)

Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who kept getting big puddles of water around his toilet.
At first he thought it was the wax ring at the base of the toilet that was leaking but that wasn't it.
This had him totally perplexed, the water just kept appearing on the floor around the toilet every morning.

Then one night he went to have a pee, lifted up the lid and lo and behold, there was a huge rat, preparing itself to leap from the toilet bowl.

I don't know how but the rat somehow found a way to swim up the pipes into the toilet every night.

So after hearing that story, I too check the toilet bowl before I go sitting on it.

:puke:

buying him little gifts, told my very busy (working) mom I needed a present for Mr. C, she picked up something at the drugstore, had it wrapped nicely, There was one teeny tiny detail I might have told my mom 'bout teacher but didn't, Big day comes, proudly handed pretty package to the oh-so-very-bald Mr C, A brush and comb set. Redder than a beet and never so embarassed again....yet:-)

And they are uttered by Curly as he begins a classic Three Stooges bit.

"Hmm...S-O-A-P...soup!"

Just classic juvenile silliness at its best.

A parent with a preschooler were wandering around in the lobby waiting for a meeting. So I invited them into the health office and the child was tentatively admiring the skeletons I had dressed up and a torso model. He said, "Do you think they dance around at night?" I said I didn't think so because they were always the same in the morning, but that I would try to imagine it tonight. I asked if he thought they were cool and not scary. He thought about it and said, "They are not scary. But you look like a WITCH."

Another incoming kindergarten child came in with his dad, and was asking dad, about the skeleton, what is this, what is that? Dad was doing a pretty good job, and I was filling in the blanks when necessary. Then the kid said, "Well, where are the butt-cheeks?" Then they left with the kid smiling. I gather it was not an uncommon subject in that family.

I am getting some good chuckles here, thanks.