Time For Another "Worst Movie EVER" Thread

My nominee is "The Thing With Two Heads", starrting Ray Milland and Rosey Grier.

:puke: to both of them.

it sucked beyond belief and not in a good way

Just awful.

A vile motion picture. Made even worse by the talent involved. Gore Vidal, who wrote the screenplay, demanded that his name be removed from the credits.

A disgusting motion picture.

...Also the scene with the heads-cutting-off machine. And when they force-fed what's-his-name all that wine and gutted him and tossed his severed genitals to the dogs? Offensive? Yes! Tasteless? To be sure! But the glamourous Penthouse Pet blowjob scene more than makes up for those tawdry lapses. Plus, John Gielgud!

First X-Rated movie I ever saw. In Pittsburgh, at the Chatham Cinema, for the then-incomprehensible price of $5 a ticket. Used a fake I.D. to get in.

I think I saw you there, and I believe you were loving it.

That movie pales in comparison to "Plan 9 From Outer Space."

Or any other movie from Ed Wood, BTW.

the lamest movie ever. who could fall in love with that jerk? and in the coliseum, when amadulla's (sp?) clothes fell off? :puke:

Though Clones was pretty bad...

a dreadful adaptation of a slightly less dreadful book. Incongruously written by Michael Shaara, of "Killer Angels" fame.

Tagline: Billy Chapel must choose between the woman he loves and the game he lives for.

Punchline: Kevin Costner IS Billy Chapel.

and I felt like I got ripped off.

just reviewed it... should be posted tomorrow at www.horrorview.com

Until then read my review of Shark Zone, my current most hated movie! In the Hall of Shame!

Other films that stink -

Big budget stinkers -

League of Extraordinary Gentlement
Independence Day
Mission to Mars
Godzilla (the American one)

Low budget ones -

ANY Italian horror film (argento, fulchi, bava... HACKS!)
Crack in the Floor
Satan's Cheerleaders

Species was a passable B movie horror flick, but Species II was jaw-droppingly aweful.

Crap.

that movie stunk!

Never has such a "spectacular" movie been so frenetic and so boring...

I've seen more than a few on other people's lists that I liked, like Mission to Mars. Guess we call those guilty pleasures?

Here's a very brutal and honest review

http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/y/yor-hunter-from-future.html

"There are a few films that aren't admired or enjoyed by anyone. These films are constantly mentioned as being the worst ever made, they show up in the imdb bottom 100, and they become cherished episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yor, the Hunter from the Future is one of those films. This is one movie we can tear apart without worrying about some fan group sending us an angry letter. Even the film's director isn't a fan. When asked about it, Antonio Margheriti said, "I mean, look at it, it's so bad!"

That said, I love this film because I saw it in the theater with my father and he is at his comic heights when ripping a bad movie.

Awful film...unwatchable. Considering the lead actors have no dialogue, and the Beatles covers are terrible.

Titanic, Star Trek: First Contact

C'mon! Alfre Woodard! Jamie Cromwell!

Totally filled with cliche and piss-poor script-writing and had nothing to do with Star Trek. No cahracter development, no real story-line. Just pure shitty writing akin to a highschool freshman. Not as bad as Nemesis, but a POS just the same.

No movie where this:



plays a major role can be considered anything but horrid.

Bleech!!!

was a big disappointment after the fun-filled Escape from New York.

One of two movies I've nearly walked out on (never walked out on a movie in my life.) The worst piece of shit movie ever.

A close second is Destiny Turns on the Radio. Wanted to walk out of that one, too, but my then-roommates actually liked it. Utter crap.

on these threads. To me there's funny bad, silly bad and just plain bad bad. This film is definitely in the latter category.:eyes:

:-)

:hi:terrya!:hi:

"Village of the Giants"

Yes, I've seen a LOT of horrible movies over the years. :-)

:hi: Lisa!

Terry

So have I!

But like I said in my earliest post, some are so bad they are funny. The Horror of Party Beach is pretty gawdawful. I don't remember Village of the Giants - tell me, is it as bad as Eegah!?

I wish I could say it wasn't so.

"The Man from Left Field" with Burt Reynolds and Reba Mcintire.

Shitburger Deluxe...

Of course, to be fair, I've only seen the MST3K version. If I saw it without Joel and the bots making fun of it, my head would explode. It mainly concerns a family having to stay over at the house of the "master" after they lost their way. The caretaker, Torgo, is supposed to be a satyr - based on his incredibly huge thighs and his cloven feet, which they never show so it just looks like he's addicted to using the ThighMaster(tm). The "master" is some nutcake in a black caftan with big red hands on the under-wings, thus the name - Manos is Spanish for hands. Seems Manos has several wives, and he has some positions open for the wife and daughter of the family.

The whole thing was filmed 30 seconds at a time without sound, which was dubbed in later. It was the brain child of a fertilizer salesman from El Paso. I read on IMDB.COM where when it was first shown at a theater in El Paso, all the "stars" quietly left when everyone started razzing the movie.

TlalocW

the shark roars like a lion, stands by its tail upright out of the water & explodes after being impaled on the broken mast of a boat in the bahamas -- truly a classic

hugest grossing film ever? It's got to be bad for you.

david

Hands down. The only sequel in history to accomplish the metaphysical feat of ruining the movie it was a sequel to.

Denial, with Robin Wright and Jason Patric. Stupid, pointless, and the most confusing and unnecessary use of flashbacks and flash forwards I've ever seen.



and If Lucy Fell. Like we're supposed to believe a complete TOAD like Eric Schaeffer would EVER get with Elle MacPherson. (Strangely enough, movie WRITTEN by Eric Schaeffer. What a cretin.)

painful gutwrenching nausea

the definitive cult spaghetti western . . . saw it when it came out (1970) . . . wish I hadn't . . .

from imdb:
Tagline: "See the naked young Franciscans whipped with cactus. See the bandit leader disemboweled. See the priest ride into the sunset with a midget and her newborn baby. What it all means isn't exactly clear, but you won't forget it."

Plot Summary: "The gunfighter El Topo ("The Mole") and his young son ride through a desert to a village, whose inhabitants have been massacred. Bandits are nearby, torturing and killing the survivors. El Topo rescues a woman (Mara), who leads him on a mission to find and defeat the four master gunmen of the desert. Leaving his son with a group of monks, El Topo and Mara complete the mission, accompanied by a mysterious woman in black. The women leave El Topo wounded in the desert, where he is found by a clan of deformed people who take him to the remote cavern where they live. Awakening years later, he goes with a dwarf woman to a nearby town, promising to dig a tunnel through which the cave-dwellers can escape. They find the town run by a vicious sheriff and home to a bizarre religious cult. El Topo's son, now a man, is a monk in the town. The completion of the tunnel leads El Topo, the townspeople, and the cave-dwellers to a bloody and tragic end."

if you'd like to wade through the whole plot (with photos, and commentary by the filmmaker) . . .

El Topo: A Book of the Film
http://www.subcin.com/bookfilm01.html

"El Topo silently draws his pistol and approaches. A man composed of two men appears: a Legless Man sitting on the shoulders of an Armless Man. The Legless Man, the upper part of the body, is the one who fires, the one who carries a lantern. The Armless Man, the lower part of the body, is the one who walks, who wears the holster and pistol. The Double Man approaches El Topo with the lighted lantern. It is daytime."

was gonna post the picture, but it was too big . . . it's on Page 2 of the online book if you're interested . . .

"The Deer Hunter" is the worst movie ever that won Best Picture. I saw it once, in a theater soon after it was released, and I will NEVER watch it again. The whole first half-hour of the movie was just a bunch of NOISE, and I'm not talking here about mere noise, but a GODAWFUL RACKET that got me COMPLETELY out of the mood for watching a good movie, and then it was filled with characters I didn't identify with and didn't understand and didn't give a shit about, and ugly scenes and situations that depressed me and offended me, like that awful Russian roulette scene ... and then the movie won Best Picture, and I couldn't believe it, and I wondered, "What the HELL are those people THINKING!?!?!? Did they SEE the same picture I saw!?!?!?"

Ron

someone else who doesn't like the Deer Hunter! Michael Cimino had the core of a good movie there, but was in the most dire need of an editor of any director I've ever seen...camera shots that go pointlessly on and on and ON for centuries, hunting scenes shot supposedly in Pennsylvania that show 10,000 ft. peaks (it was shot in the North Cascades in Washington state, for chrissakes - did he think no one would NOTICE?), that asinine Russian roulette horseshit...but at the very end, that scene where they sing God Bless America sitting around the table broke my heart. I forgive him for the rest of the movie being complete crap because that scene is the very essence of small-town America.

But I still don't like the movie, and I'm completely baffled by its Best Picture Oscar and perennial presence on "best war movie" lists.

I thought "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?" sucked big-time as well.

A good story turned bad by Matthew McConaughey's poor acting.

I had this movie on tape and it was soooo bad it was good. Great gross-out movie. I loaned it out and never got it back. Checked e-bay to see if it was out on DVD and it is! Then I found out it was the first movie by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings). What a shock!

I think, looking at the box, and knowing the history of the film, the package cost more to make.

What a piece of crap that was. I never even broke into a smile during that stinker.

Worst. "Actor". Ever.

C'mon! You guys are slipping!

considering that the director had no taste, no brains AND no money.

How many of us in that position could make a real full-length movie?

I love that movie! It's one of the top ten Unitentionally Funny movies ever. Man, I gotta check Amazon to see if it's available on DVD....

It came out about ten years ago (Sharon Stone, Richard Gere). The reason for it being so terrible was that it presented itself as a decent movie, but it was a plotless piece of crap. I remember coming this close to walking out. I thought we did, but was reminded that no, we sat through the entire stupid thing. Pointless.

I've read descriptions here of some pretty unappealing sounding filems; but the worst I've ever seen, in no particualr order:

Eraserhead
Jurrasic Park II - The Lost World
Natural Born Killers

Eraserhead was a rental, I only lasted through about 30 minutes of it
Lost World, I only stayed because the person I was with didn't want to leave
NBK, I had read a good review, so I kept expecting it to have some redeeming point, but no.

The best review of it that I've ever read:

http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/sweetestthing.html

"Short of being attached to the bumper of a pickup truck by a cock ring and being dragged around the "great" state of Texas, I can't think of anything more painful than watching "The Sweetest Thing," which signals the end of Cameron Diaz's sanity, if not her career."

And so many more, "House of 1,000 Corpses", the remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Underworld", "Gothika", hell, with Hollywood's output, it never ends. It amazes me that some exeutive financed these POS movies.

I was stuck in a town for an afternoon, and it was raining, and I hadn't seen the first 2. I wish now I'd stared at a brick wall for 2 hours getting wet.

I dislike those two more than low-budget bad movies, which are easy targets. But with experienced directors, good casts, and huge budgets, those movies should have possibly considered investing in SCRIPTS THAT MADE SOME FUCKING SENSE!!!

I hate both those movies with a passion. Both are manipulative, cynical, asinine garbage.

The Hours - this was torture to sit through. Maybe it is not meant for men. I got up in the middle to go to the bathroom and then decided to take a stroll outside the theater for about 30 minutes rather than return to the confinement of my seat. Perhaps the director wanted to bore me to death like that to give me a feel for how the annoying women in this movie felt trapped and bored with their lives. I felt total apathy towards all the chracters and I wished that they would commit suicide ASAP so that I may get on with my own life. The acting was good, but it does not make up for the rest.

The English Patient - I saw this when it first came out, and I don't remember anything about it other than the fact that I was bored into a catatonic state that I barely recovered from.

It's about a marching band! A marching band people!