Trying to forgive myself.

Trying to forgive myself for all of my mistakes. the times in life that I put people off. For times when I could have used my common sense and didn't. This includes yesterday. I know that we need to learn from my mistakes. But considering my patterns the last couple of years and even my failures in social situations before that. The problem is when I think I have learned my lesson, I will make a mistake. I may even make the same again down the road. The consequences have become more costly. I just don't know how I can break the pattern. I committ myself to doing so and I still make more mistakes. What could happen next? This is why I am so unsure of myself.

I want to thank you people for all of your support and I hope that you don't consider me a burden when I am like this. Especially when there are so many bigger issues in the world (e.g. Iraq, massive unemployment, et. al.) Where is the justice in the world in regards to these things?

That may be the hardest step to take - but I believe it's important. We're all learning...or we wouldn't be here.

At least you care. That puts you far ahead of many.

Especially when they are so costly. I know that I need to do this, but Like I said.

They're just lessons - opportunities to learn.

The added burden of being upset with yourself makes it harder. So relax, realize that everyone's life is filled with mistakes, and keep working on them. You'll be fine.

May I offer a contrast? You speak of costly and stupid mistakes, and you regret them. There's a fellow in the White House that seems to be making quite a number of such mistakes - and he doesn't regret them one little bit. I cannot imagine that your mistakes come anywhere close to his. See the difference? And why you have every reason to be optimistic about yourself?

But he himself is always protected from the consequences of his actions. He also has no descernable conscience. The problem I have is that sometimes, I feel that I will make a mistake that I have made before, without knowing it and in many cases I feel that I should have known better.

As for the afformentioned fellow, I doubt he will ever truly face the consequences of his actions in life. He could loose the election (hopefully) but he may never answer for charges. For me, if I keep making mistakes that are stupid in retrospect, that could cost me jobs even ones that I really do like, as well as potentially good social interaction opportunities. I can't let that happen to myself. I am always afraid that as a result of my mistakes, I will end up on the streets or totally alone because I could never figure out what was right. I hope that I will be fine but when I make screwups like this I am less certain than ever.

they take care of the seemingly small things.
You are not a burden. In my experience you've always communicated your weaknesses or issues in a manner most open to suggestion..and responsibly...not as though you are dumping your life on us, but asking for support.

I commend you for reaching out and for seeing your mistakes and trying to make them right.

I'll make you a deal. I'll forgive you for your faults if you will forgive me for my faults. For some reason it is a lot easier than self-forgiveness.

#1 affect the people you come into contact with in a positive way.

#2 see #1.

STEVIE RAY ROCKS!!!!!:thumbsup:

Move on.

It'll be okay.

We love you.

That might sound corny, but having a really good friendship made me realize that this is the key to forgiveness. True friends forgive each other rather easily even when they've done some pretty terrible things if they are really sorry. Would you forgive your best friend for the things that you did? Forgive yourself too. You can be your own best friend.
As far as using bad judgement though. That is human. When it comes to other people, you cannot know their thoughts, feelings, and motivations easily. Not everyone is good at using their instincts and sometimes your feelings about things can get in the way of trying to discover what they truly need or want.

as in...

One hundred years from now "it" won't matter a bit... Substitute whatever is bugging you for "it"...and there ya go !!!

I don't know about you, but I plan on living for an eternity! (I think that was from a Star Trek movie...and that too from Generations...uh oh that one had the odd number curse...)

Of course there's that phrase Bush made famous -- "History...I don't know...we'll all be dead" (God what a crazy SOB)...

I think it's great that you're discussing your problems with others. This forum is great, because in general liberals are tolerant, and can listen to people. I also think the advice is good...and the people are supportive.

Mostly I'll probably end up saying the same things others said in different words.

Know one thing -- you already have things in perspective. The fact that you understand the world's problems are so large -- and that so much injustice exists -- is a very positive character trait. A lot of people are so self absorbed and worried about the pettiest problems and they are very ignorant about the problems in the world.

Second, maybe the career paths you took weren't the right ones for you. I know this may seem crazy (and possibly impractical), but you may consider going back to college (I recall you said you have a bachlors), for either a professional or graduate program (possibly even in a field very different from that you studied in undergrad). Or that may not be necessary. If you were interested in something tech based a certification may be a better idea (hell not necessarily tech based but other certifications as well).

Good luck. Things will usually pick up.

I have a math degree. Many of the jobs I have taken, I have taken because there was no alternative. Last fall, I took a mortgage job where I had to cold call to get people to refinance. It did not work out.

I took the fundraising job for the same reasons. Though there was some idealism involved there because it was for the Democrats and other organizations.

I have applied to graduate school for the fall so I can get a Master's in Statistics. I hope I get in. I hope I get financial aid too. It is up in the air. I would like to do something more research based or task oriented. The jobs I took did not have to do with my degree, they had to do with a bad economy.