So..... girl advice anyone?

My friend wants to hook me up with this girl. She's "Just my type" Something I've never believed in. The girl works as a drug and booze counselor. She sounds cool, but you know...I hate being "set up." And I simply won't do it. I mean I'd like to meet the girl out of curiosity. But even in a non-set-up situation, I know my friend has said something to her...so there would be pressure. And over the last few years, I just can't handle women...I get too nervous when it comes to any intimate situation and I feel sick, I need things to be ULTRA slow. But at the same time, I know I can't keep running from girls...

What do you folks think?

you could always become a junkie and then recover... lol

sorry... ive been having a hard time of it too... and i just needed to bring the sense of humor out a little bit, make sure it hadnt died in me...

-LK

I mean, I drink alot..but what is my friend trying to tell me?

i donno... id say go for it... but id guess im really one to talk, arent i?

-LK

One of those meddling harpes that thinks all people should be dating.
(Just kidding she's great)

ive had one of those buzzing around me for awhile... she gave up... lol.

-LK

Trust me on this. Go for it and be yourself. Get a copy of Frank Zappa's Zoot Allures and memorize "Find Her Finer".

Woof

:-) ;-)

that's my motto...then again I really could use a girlfriend right now. Or a one night stand at the very least.

Anyway, I don't like getting set up either. The expectation that you should get along kind of ruins things. Plus, most people who try to set me up have no idea what I look for in a woman.

If you don't like her don't pursue things. Who knows, she may not like you. You many not like each other. Or it might end up working out. But atleast find out....

See what happens. If there's chemistry it will work, if not, you tried. And here's another secret: we get just as nervous sometimes. ;)

Hmmm..Is your last name Butts?? :bounce: ;)

But it's a good one. :thumbsup:

Where have you been? :spank:

:crazy:

Didn't you just the other day post about this totally awesome thing you did, where you put the picture of a co-worker in the paper and told everybody to wish her a Happy Birthday?

And then, didn't you just pick up two complete strangers who needed a lift? (Stupid, but generous)

YOU ARE A GREAT GUY!!! Meet the girl. If you don't like her, you don't like her. She doesn't want to be with a guy that doesn't like her anymore than you want to be with a girl who doesn't like you. She probably isn't going to be "the one" anyway, what's the mathematical odds of that? So don't even expect her to be that. Just a new friend you can say hello to in the grocery store. That's always fun, right?

Go For It!

The greatest women you will ever meet in your life will be by accident and totally unexpected.

Don't take that date.

How's silent Bob doing lately?

What does Howdy Doody have to do with this thread?

... you will always wonder ...

If I never meet her, I'm sure I'll forget the whole conversation in three weeks.

I always wonder about the ones I knew and never went for.

Ah, Adrianna...where are you now? You beautiful Mexican minx!

Believe me, no matter how good it may or may not seem, the end result is a defamation suit, orders seeking spousal support, and even an application for a publication ban. Trust me, I know!

You can't win...the last woman worth having was Louise Brooks, and they don't build 'em like that anymore...

Good to see ya

Love stinks. People these days are either pushy, overemotional, arrogant, clingy, abusive or some combination of the above. Become a monk and tell the world to go fuck itself.

Way better than "Bad Habits", and a pretty good "go fuck yourself" to the recording industry...

You've got ot hold that lid on tight!

After I meet her I should say... "Nice legs..shame about the face."

Why don't you just ask her if she'll tie you off while you shoot...that's a real test of love!

hehe

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Reflect the views of HEyHEY the orignal poster.. ;-)

Sorry, but I gotta cover my ass ;-)

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I have a sense of humor that would make any man in this thread blush down to his socks. But that is the most insulting crap I have seen since the last time somebody used the c-word.

Anyone who doesn't see the problem is part of the problem.

The day you find me indulging in arbitrary, opportunistic male-bashing in this or any other public venue, then you can tell me to lighten up.

humorous...I will laugh and it will also roll right off of me...Silly remarks like the one above should just roll off of you.

..is humorous, then I am certainly glad I do not have the "pleasure" of knowing you in life, apart from this board.

The remark above was not down grading to women, but showed how little respect some males have not just for women, but for their own mothers, who happen to have gone through what that remark implied.

Well done guys! Glad none of you are my sons!

On eidt: typo

Actually, I never said it was humorous (hoever, I was saying that you may feel free to make humorous jokes)...I would never makes such a joke because - well - it is not even that funny...I prefer a little more wit. What does make me laugh a little is the overreaction to it. I was surprised by it. I only make racist/sexist jokes amongst a close group of friends - a very diverse group might I add. I love the way we can all make ourselves vulnerable - it is a kind of social intimacy we have with one another. Context is extremely important. I am with George Carlin when it comes to PC - I mean he is pretty liberal and all and a hero to many a DUer, but he is NOT PC. When he is not being PC, he is really making fun of the racist/sexist assholes who really MEAN what they say. So, to some extent, if I throw a racist joke out there, it would only be to close friends who know I am not a racist/sexist asshole, and my joke would really not be making fun of any race or sex because upon close inspection, one would see that it is the bigot that is being laughed at. OK???

That should be enough overanalysis for now.

not funny and shouldn't role right off of anybody. But I will note your non-female statis and take your opinion on this subject for what it is worth.

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There was nothing wrong with this joke. Yeah, it referred to the female anatomy and involved blood, but have we come to the point where we can't handle that? We (most of us anyway) are adults, and I find it pathetic that we have become so PC that we can't handle making fun of each other!

Hey, just let it roll of your back.

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But I would just chat with anyone. And that would often lead to something else.

That was some time ago. Now there are so many ways to chat with people without the sweaty-palmed awkwardness of actually meeting them.

So get her e-mail address. Or IM with her. Send her a witty cartoon, a photo you took, a link to a cool website, an MP3 of a song you like, and ask her to send one back.

Anyway, that's what I would do.

;-)

Actually, t's a reference to Rumpole of the Bailey. I had to come up with an ID fast when I registered to let his friends know that The Magistrate was ill. He suggested SWMBO, he being the one to whom it applies. But I do get the occasional offer of obedience from the twisty types around here...:D

None of us know you. Your situation, your personality... it doesn't translate through a keyboard and computer screen. Not to mention, I bet half of the more frequent posters here lack a social life. I'm not trying to make a flame war here, but I just think message boards are the worst place to go for this kind of thing. How do you know the people "helping you out" on this one know what the hell they're talking about?

Oompa Loompa dippidy dee...if you are wise you'll listen to me....

Don't take girl advice on a politcal board.... the answers are strange..will drive you out of your gord.

Like a crazy letcher
Liker a crazy letcher

Be wise and thoughtful and just follow your heart
In the end you'll feel better and that makes you smart.
You will live in happiness to..like the oompa doopidy do.

...suggests you should probably go out on a date...

Yep.. my sister frequently says "God, you need a woman"

...

Watch it buddy...

Actually she just got married to a stone cold steve autsin look-alike.....

It's been a thorn in my side... I have to beautiful sisters..and my fucking friends won't shut up.

*Dodges rocks*

Just kidding

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But as a 25-year-old male... Little HEyHEY just can't agree

Not that I'm only out for sex..sometimes I wish I was.

Confidence is everything...without it, you will be single for the rest of your life and you don't want that! Too many fine women out there to be single all your life!

"How's life, Norm?"
"Ask a man who has one."

(This concludes my explanation as to "why I never give advice on women or relationships").


MDN

You can order some appetizers and beer. If she doesn't drink I'm sure she will have a snack because girls don't turn down food unless they are anorexic and believe me we like to eat.

and hardly ever work out.

It's meddling, pure and simple. Remember, she's doing this because
she feels sorry for both of you losers. The pressure on both of you pawns in her grand plan will be enormous.

The proper way to do this is for the mutual friend to set something up where you meet, but NOT tell you it's a plan, and let nature take its course, with perhaps a little nudge here and there.

Think of your embarassment when she turns out to be the Wicked Witch of the West. Or hers, when she hates you at first sight. Been there, done those, and it ain't fun.

Having said that, what the hell... Go for it. It can't be all that bad, and might work out after all, even though the odds are against it.

Aways have a Plan B. Hire a hooker to walk up to the dinner table and claim to be a long-lost love who just happened to see you there. Then you got options.

The times I was most successful with women were when I had a beer buddy who liked the same things that I did. If you meet a couple of girls (when you're out and about) it's much easier to meet them again (and get to know them) if you arrange to do something as a group. That way there's less pressure because there's more people to talk to (and it's more fun).

Unfortunately you need a beer buddy who is confident and knows how to talk to women, not always an easy combination to find in a male friend.

...get almost killed in a car accident. You would be amazed on what a confidence-booster that can be. I now have no qualms about asking girls out, since each one might be my last... :D

On edit: plus, women just love a guy with leg scars and a crutch...:D

What I usually do, if I can't power them down from the high pressure sales, is agree to attend a group function or a backyard barbeque where Mr.OhSoPerfect will be. Being in a large group tends to take the pressure off, especially if it's mostly folks I already know.

Just make sure the group isn't all couples but for you and Ms.GirlOfYerDreams, and you'll be fine. In fact, if you don't think your friends can be trusted to get a group of folks together, do it yourself.

In the worst case scenario, -you end up going out with just your friends and the woman in question, - go as a group to see a movie. It's less awkward if you don't have to come up with things to say to each other for a couple of hours while the movie plays, and afterward you can talk about the film you saw as a starting point.

Being set up isn't the worst thing in the world and if it doesn't turn out, it's only a few hours of discomfort.

Your friend watches you be cautious, knows you want to meet someone and has offered to do this to help you out of your shell...the worst thing that will happen is you won't enjoy yourself.

that they were trying to set you up.

They should have just invited the two of you to the same party or something.

To ease your mind, though, if a relationship is meant to happen, it will. I've always found that something just "clicks" when I'm with the right person, even though I can be shy, awkward, and tongue-tied when I'm in a one-sided crush-type situation.

If she hadn't of told me...I probably would have met the girl and been interested.

BUt I KNOW she's said something to her...so there is NO way I'll be able to be charming, funny, or anything.




..... I'll probably get stinkin' pissed and become an obnoxious prick to hide the fact I'm scared outta my wits

But if I were in your shoes I would go on the date. If there's nothing there then there's nothing there. No biggie. Tell your friend no more set-ups.

What have you got to lose really?

ah, I love that line

That is a good line. Dating takes practice like anything else.

so go for it.

Should I ...yes...wait...no, hmmm maybe.... ahahhhh!

If you don't know them already you are not a rules of dating kind of person. Do what is comfortable for you, play by the rules you make up. That is the only way to know if you are compatable with someone. Being yourself is the only way to have a relationship.

nice but not this way. Maybe a barbecue or something real informal and then get to know her your way? Try that, sweetie. Your 'problem'
is very, very normal and common. :)

There was a comment made about women...then the shitstorm hit

sometimes you have to have your eyes open even when you don't expect to see anything. Remain open to experiences, good ones, bad ones, and do your part to make your life an experience. Little things like smiling at strangers (or giving them a ride to the res) make life's fabric more interesting.

OK enough pontificating, meet the woman, do it on your own terms, bowling or barbecue or whatever. Meet her with an open mind and enjoy her for herself, even if nothing more intimate develops.

Here endeth the lesson.

Go and sin no more (unless you want to).

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just curious why you couldn't just let it alone...

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is people who make jokes outside of an intimate setting with people they know well enough to know they won't get offended, and then are so SHOCKED and offended when people in a mixed group that they don't know are offended. People getting offended about people getting offended. Funny stuff, I tell you.

when I go into a thread and say something that offends someone, and I keep bringing it up over and over again, I can't figure out why everyone gets so upset? Making sensitive jokes in a large, diverse mixed company never goes well either, and I just CAN'T figure that out. What is wrong with me?

is half the fun! & it's SO cool when it works out, even if only for awhile.

Life's short & way too lonely. Go for it!

I was sort of shy and most of the guys that I knew who I liked were friends. I was also clueless about flirting and romantic signals. I never knew without a direct revelation whether someone liked me as a friend or was interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I liked being set up on a date that I was sure that was actually a date. Of course, I didn't meet my husband that way, though.

as long as the matchmaker didn't let me know that it was a set-up.

It's just that people use the wrong criteria.

"He just came back from a business trip to Japan." This is definitely something to build a relationship on.

"He's from Minnesota." Like four million other people.

"He's just like (name of the guy who just dumped me)." That's. . . comforting.

"He's tall." So is George W. Bush.

I've matchmade two couples successfully, and I didn't use any logical criteria. It was just a feeling that the two people involved had very similar personalities and outlooks on life.

good and bad. just go meet the girl, and stop setting yourself up (e.g., expecting pressure) and have some casual fun. what have you got to lose?