Rules For Movies To Avoid

Here is my first rule for movies to avoid. If a machine gun can be seen or heard anywhere in the movie it is one to be avoided.

What is your first rule?

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n/t

Just got back from Harry Potter, and the idjits were out in force WITH 5 Y.O. KIDS, the Prophetess and I had to sit through a continual barrage of "wazzat mama? waz goin on?" etc. and the ever-popular seat kicking by the kids, bacause after all, the parents arelly aren't in control...

"IN A TOWN..."

Special effects are great, but they should not be the SOLE reason to see it.

Hear that, Roland Emmerich?

Run screaming from the theater.

...if it has a former Brat Packer (Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe) in it. Sole exception: Ally Sheedy, who has done some really good films since she hit her 30s. If you haven't already done so, check out AUTUMN HEART some time! :thumbsup:

Well shit, every rule has its exception! :hi:

They REALLY screw those types of movies up.

The title ends in a Roman numeral (unless it's Kenneth Branagh interpreting Shakespeare).

It's a big-screen version of a TV show I never watched--or, in some cases, even one I did.

It stars Keanu Reeves, The Rock, Sylvester Stallone, or Steven Seagal.

It's named after a popular song, particularly one I never liked.

It stars a popular singer, particularly one I never liked.

It's based on a video game.

And I'd like to add Vin Diesel to Night Train's list--he's worn out his welcome already.

:headbang:
rocknation

has four or more teens, in front of a dark backdrop, all staring off in different directions with exaggerated expressions of solemnity or horror.

If the title of the film is depicted as dripping blood, it's double bad.

like that's the main reason for seeing it on the big screen.

Second rule:

Contains one or more of the following actors:

Gary Busey
Stephen Sagall
The Rock
David Spade

Nuff Said

It has a monkey as the leading character.

I think most of the time the most popular movies are usually crap, I don't know why this phenomenon exists but I have noted it more than once. Now this doesn't mean there are no good really popular movies because there have been plenty, just that I see a red flag when a movie is tooo popular in terms of box office and hype.

Another that I avoid are what I call 'womans movies', these are hard to define but I know them when I see them.

Actors I don't like include almost all the young stars of today, with the exception of Russell Crowe. I also disliked Tom Cruise for a long time (however he can act I admit) but I will still see the movie of most actors as long as the movie looks interesting, unless it has Leonardo Di Caprio in it, I can't stand him in movies. Same with Ben Affleck, although I admit Good Will Hunting was a great movie.

I forgot to add that I avoid movies about serial killers consistently, and unfortunately Hollywood loves to pump this tired old plotline movie out every other week. That said, 'Seven' was a great movie and a rare exception.

1)Based on SNL sketches

2)National Lampoon's.......

3) Stars a wrestler

4) The trailer has more explosions than dialogue

5) Kids, teenagers, or talking rats

6) Rob Schnieder is the.......

who's in the film just because he/she is a pop musician and the producers know he/she will bring in the idiots, and the pop singer isn't playing the role of him/herself at a club that the cast goes to or something like that.

Also avoid any movie in which the phrase "to save the world" or "the world will end tomorrow" or anything else involving the world ending.

It is truly amazing how much sugar can be poured on to some of these stories.

J.Lo

In defense of straight to video, some of them are good, but come out at the wrong time, and are then shelved for too long to go to theaters.

no exception for it?

They're almost always a disappointment. Recent example - Planet of the Apes.

you just know it's gonna REEK.

Too many Milwaukee's Best lights...time to go to bed!

Who ever invented previews is a saint. I've never been able to stomach an Adam Sandler trailer. Merde, to think they show entire Adam Sandler films in Abu Graib. Those poor, poor Iraqis.



Edit: The surest spell check is to click: POST.

The Godfather
All Quiet on the Western Front
Slaughter House Five
Shindler's List
Swimming to Cambodia
Catch-22
etc.....

n/t