Gays & Lesbians: Answer me this stupid question!!!

Why is it, anytime I see a pamphlet, brochure or public service for services for Gays, Lesbians, etc that they find either the most butch looking female or the most effeminate looking man to pose for the brochure?

I mean, I've met gays & lesbians and *GASP* some women actually wear makeup and fix their hair. And I've met some gay men that look masculine loand straight looking

But it never fails.......

Why do folks do this?

Just as skimpily clad women sell beer to us straight folk, I guess. My theory is that it's some clueless ad agency's idea of what a "gay person" looks like.

It's like saying that the "fab five" represent the majority of gay men. That pisses off all of my gay friends.

I had a brain fart.

....what popped this question into my head was a brochure from my company about their domestic partnership benefits. I mean, I'm proud of the fact that domestic partners (which is the best you can do in Delaware) are recognized by our company and you can put your partner on your health benefits.

But it wasn't enough that the brochure said Gays & Lesbians, the person who designed it had to find stereotypical pictures of Gay & Lesbians to pose for the pictures on it. I guess just incase we couldn't read the words hopefully we would understand just by the pictures

:shrug:

Just because some gay folk have tried to re-appropriate the pejorative word "queer" does not make it acceptable to me. I think it is scandalous that the TV show uses the word, but that's just my take.

I've never really understood that.

Does anyone know the origin of that usage?

its says that even if you are unconventional looking for the culture at large you are still welcome here....i like that!

When someone sees a butch lesbian or an effiminate gay man they immediately know someone is marketing directly to the gay community. To look at me you wouldn't know I am gay. It isn't until I open my mouth and six yards of chiffon fall out that is the giveaway. :-) Just kidding.

It bothers the crap out of me, too. Usually I just write it off to some dumb-as-a-brick straight PR person trying to put all of us into some kind of stereotypical classification.

Can I add one more rant?

Homosexuality is not a lifestyle! A recent thread on DU regarding plural marriage contained a message that said something about "the homosexual lifestyle." Every time I see that phrase my blood boils.

The right-wing extremists use "homosexual lifestyle" to imply that every gay or lesbian person is a sex-crazed, drug-using, alcohol-abusing, party queen who is irresponsible to the nth degree and who deserves the scorn of "normal" people.

There are as many lifestyles among gay people as there are among any other people. Kim and I live a struggling middle-class, animal-loving, family-devoted, community-supporting, quiet-loving, semi-rural lifestyle. Our lifestyle probably isn't much different from our heterosexual neighbors, except that I refuse to cook on a gas grill! It's charcoal only for me, brothers and sisters!

I would really appreciate your gently correcting people who innocently use "gay lifestyle." Educating people is the key to assuring our acceptance. I would also appreciate your firmly correcting people who use "gay lifestyle" to defame us. They, too, need to be educated, but they aren't so easily taught.

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

...being a GOTH is a lifestyle. Being gay is not a choice. To wear a yellow shirt or a blue shirt is a choice. I did not choose to be gay.

Nuff sed.

I'll just add my two bits

It's all about fitting people into little boxes so they are not a threat to those in power.

It seems the gay male as "queen" stereotype has slowly been accepted by the masses only because he is not a threat to the status quo. Ultimately he acts as the "clown," and is thus allowed to pass (Richard Simmons didn't have too much trouble in the 80's did he?)

The presence of gay males (specifically on TV) has unfortunately broken little new ground recently. It has only reaffirmed the gay male's accepted "place" & "manner of conduct" in society: a clown.

The other popular alternative is the "gay male as victim" motif, which also makes me nauseated. Again, victims are not a threat.

These stereotypes do more harm than good. How many gays have been forced to fit into one of these molds in desperate hope of being "accepted" socially?

So ultimately, I do not think there is anything particularly "brave" about the recent surge of gays on TV. Most of these media figures are merely solidifying stereotypes to an already ignorant public. The cows nod their heads & say "yeah, uh-huh, this is what a 'gay' is supposed to be."

There are films, etc that attempt to break past those barriers, but they are currently the exception to the rule.

Sure, there are GBLT folks out there who are visually indistinguishable from straight people, but there are also a lot of GBLT people who aren't. You're better off putting someone who is "identifiably gay" on the cover of a brochure so that your target audience can spot it from across the room. If I saw a brochure with someone who looked like a TV anchorwoman on the front, I wouldn't immediately assume it would have anything to do with lesbians.

Incidentally, there is a lot more to being butch than not wearing makeup or blowdrying your hair, but that's a whole other conversation.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

are more discriminated against anyway...so its a way to tell them that they are not going to be discriminated against by that particular business

Incidentally, there is a lot more to being butch than not wearing makeup or blowdrying your hair, but that's a whole other conversation.

I wear makeup, blow-dry my (waist-length) hair, and would choose hosting a dinner party over getting my hands dirty under the hood of a car. And there's no question about my butch-ness. Ask my friends, my family... or my lover.

...Olivia Cruises: http://www.olivia.com



...or an ad for a Suzanne Westenhoefer show:



...or Ari Gold:



Or perhaps your ideas and mine about stereotypes are radically different.

That hurts my eyes! put it away! put it away! :P

I am a femme, yet I am not your ordinary femme. I will wear the make up, nice clothes, dresses, heels, etc, etc, etc, yet, I am not affraid of what is under the hood of my car, in fact,I have pulled apart and rebuilt (and modified) V8 engines in the past. I love to drag race, I love to hang wheelies, yet, I am very much a femme. Ask Sapph, because trust me, if I was butch, she wouldn't have wanted to pursue a relationship with me, from the moment that came up.

and besides the fact that many of us on the chorus don't fit neatly into a pigeonhole - i.e., our points on the Kinsey scale are not necessarily fixed - I'm continually being surprised to find out that someone I thought was gay is straight, or vice versa. (None of us are surprised to find out that others on the chorus are bi - it's the ones we got completely wrong that surprise us.) Trust me, if WE can't tell who is playing on which team, neither can the general public!

If you use "masculine" men and "feminine" women then you are being homophobic (Why are you afraid of effeminate-looking men? Do you think something's wrong with them? Should the male gay community be ashamed of being effeminate? Why are you buying into the stereotypes of how the straight world says women should act and look?)

If you use effeminate men and masculine women then you are being homophobic (So you think that's how we ALL act and look, do you? It never occurred to you that maybe we might be just like anybody else. Why are you buying into the stereotypes of how the straight world thinks gays and lesbians look and act?).

I understand the same difficulties are encountered within ethnic and religious minority groups. I try and stay away from the whole thing. The careful person presents a delicately balanced mixture of both I think.

For myself, when I see news stories featuring, say, a gay couple getting married in Massachussetts, and they're both a couple of flamers, I cringe. When they're completely "straight-acting" and indistinguishable from the rest of the US population I feel a little bit of elation that the straight audience is seeing that we're just like everybody else. I consider this a bit homophobic on my own part.