Once every six months Maddox makes me laugh till I puke

http://www.maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=compusa_sucks

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I can't help but admire the balls-to-the-wall arrogance of CompUSA's management. I mean, the magnitude of swindling we're dealing with here would give Satan a boner.

With a money-making agenda that could otherwise only exist in a super villain's wet dream, CompUSA needs no help from a ruggedly handsome pirate such as myself. So I've decided to give a few suggestions that might make the store better for customers instead. Enjoy:

# To better match the store atmosphere at CompUSA, I've created a new logo:


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# Hire untrained school kids to man your staff, because I like being told that the swap file on my computer is "pretend memory." Being talked down to by crater-faced sales staff is a humbling experience, and the phrase "pretend memory" is awesome. It makes me want to pay you pretend money for the pretend advice I received from your staff with pretend technical knowledge.

# Offer warranties for things that don't need service, such as pre-packaged software sold by third-party vendors.

# Charge arbitrary 15% "restocking" fees to seal and restock products returned due to defects:


The most expensive cellophane in the universe.

Finding fingerprints on products sold as new in your store is a great way to discover that you've been sold a potentially faulty product. I love searching for fingerprints on products I purchase anyway. It's like a scavenger hunt, except instead of finding a prize, I get it up the ass.



with all due apologies to those offended by this. please just ignore it. I just think its funny as hell