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Last night I was talking to God

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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:44 AM
Original message
Last night I was talking to God
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 07:46 AM by khephra
Or Mr.Big as I like to call him.

And we got in this big fight. I was bitching about him putting so much in our little brains each day, so much that some of us poor people can't sleep.

He (well, "IT"...God has always come across as being "Bi" to me) said "Hold on a second."

"I created everything and have to keep everything going each day. Don't talk to me about stress."

I say: "You also created the Bush family."

God looked pissed off and then said, "Yeah, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking that week. Lucifer and I were having this family reunion and the wine started getting passed back and forth and before you knew it some bets were made.

"Seriously, even I thought you all would have kicked Bush's ass to the curb by now. Right now Mr. Scratch is rather pissed off. It seems that there's an outside force for evil that has nothing to be involved with Satan...and that's pissing him off."
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:48 AM
Response to Original message
1. No wonder I couldn't get through to him
God needs call-waiting :mad:
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:53 AM
Response to Original message
2. Well, geez, you get Him started on the Bush family, and He'll NEVER stop.
:-)

Terry
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:57 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. God is normally a nice guy
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 08:02 AM by khephra
But don't let him start on about Pickle's loaning habbits. Seems she is a librarian who thinks she is above loaning rules and she doesn't think she has to bring back books until she wants to.
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:59 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. I just can just imagine His take on Big Barbara...
I'd hate to be around when that happens!
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:05 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you all that Satan is Barbara
It got around a lot of prophecy by having Satan becoming a woman and birthing the Anti-Christ.

The jackal semen was the hardest element to get in making W.
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 07:58 AM
Response to Original message
4. I knew Pat Robertson posted on DU
Now that you have revealed yourself, the mods will have to bust you down to an eternal 700 posts.
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:01 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. I can't be Pat
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 08:01 AM by khephra
I believe in a bisexual (actually omnisexual) Deity. Try imagining Pat thinking that.
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:06 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. I can't imagine Pat believing in any kind of deity at all
Edited on Sat Jun-19-04 08:06 AM by jpgray
Believing in the accumulation of massive wealth and dabbling in the brutal African diamond trade seems to be more like Pat's scene.

(Anyway I'm just joking around--as you can see, identifying my lame wisecracks as such rarely results in their becoming more humorous. ;-))
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-19-04 08:09 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. I knew that
Just playing along with you. ;-)

:hi:
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