"Funny" Fundie Quotes

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976

If we are going to save America and evangelize the world, we cannot accommodate secular philosophies that are diametrically opposed to Christian truth.
-- Jerry Falwell, "Moral Majority Report" for September, 1984

The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible,without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.
-- Jerry Falwell, Finding Inner Peace and Strength

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.
-- Jerry Falwell, Listen, America!

If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism ... we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today ... our battle is with Satan himself.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)


The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)




more...............

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/foulwell.htm

I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics, women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who do indeed deserve minority status.
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell, USA Today Chat, quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell"

WTF?

Something along the lines of "okay, if you think being gay is a choice one makes, let me ask you this. What would it take for you to let me put my dick in your mouth until I ejaculate? A million dollars? Ten million? Still not interested?"

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
-- Rev. Jerry Falwell, America Can Be Saved, 1979 pp. 52-53, from Albert J. Menendez and Edd Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom

That explains why it appears some are the right are hell bent on destroying the public school system!

turd has to answer for his hateful diatribes.
God: OK, Mr. Falwell, did you really understand what the new testament was about, or did you merely take convenient interpretations of your own?
Foulball: Awww, well, it seemed the right thang ta do, and I did make a LOT of money offa those fools that sent me all there money!
God: Well, let's see, how to handle this situation. How many golden calves...er....money did you say you made?
Foulball: Oh, lots and lots, and I did it all in your name too!
God: enough for, let's say...a triple thickness asbestos suit?
Foulball: Oh no, you're not going to put me together with all those evil homos and perverts and stuff!?
God: Shit no, they're staying here with me. You see, they understood the idea of unconditional love. buh-bye, and take your phoney folowers with you!

"We are to make Bible-obeying disciples of anybody that gets in our way."
--Jay Grimstead, February 1987

"Nobody has the right to worship on this planet any other God than Jehovah. And therefore the state does not have the responsibility to defend anybody's pseudo-right to worship an idol."
--Rev. Joseph Morecraft, Chalcedon Presbyterian Church, "Biblical Role of Civil Government" speech given 8/31/93 at Biblical Worldview and Christian Education Conference

"This is God's world, not Satan's. Christians are the lawful heirs, not non-Christians."
--Gary North, Political Polytheism: The Myth of Pluralism (Tyler, TX: Institute for Christian Economics, 1989), p. 102

"America is under the judgment of God. And if we are ever going to rebuild this country, it must be under God's law. Our goal must be simple: We must have a Christian nation built on God's law, on the Ten Commandments. No apologies."
--Randall Terry, Operation Rescue, address to "Cities of Refuge" campaign, Willoughby Hills, OH, July, 1993

"A cult is any group that has a form of godliness, but does not recognize Jesus Christ as the unique son of God."....."One test of a cult is that it often does not strictly teach that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God who HImself is God manifested in the flesh."......"Christian-oriented cults include the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormons), the Worldwide Church of God, Christian Science, Unity, Unitarianism, The Way International, Rosicrucian Society of America, Bahai, Hare Krishna, Scientology, the Unification Church, and the Jehovah's Witnesses."
--CBN pamphlet "Cults," 1992

"When the Christian majority takes over this country, there will be no satanic churches, no more free distribution of pornography, no more talk of rights for homosexuals. After the Christian majority takes control, pluralism will be seen as immoral and evil and the state will not permit anybody the right to practice evil."
--Gary Potter, president of Catholics for Christian Political Action


"What this is coming down to is who runs the country. It's us against them. It's the good guys versus the bad guys. It's the God-fearing people against the pagans, and some of the pagans are going to church."
--Randall Terry, Operation Rescue, speech in Jackson, Miss., 4/92,

"The long-term goal of Christians in politics should be to gain exclusive control over the franchise. Those who refuse to submit publicly to the eternal sanctions of God by submitting to His Church's public marks of the covenant--baptism and holy communion--must be denied citizenship, just as they were in ancient Israel."
-- Gary North - Political Polytheism: The Myth of Pluralism, Tyler, TX: Institute for Christian Economics, 1989, p. 87

"There should be absolutely no 'Separation of Church and State' in America."
--David Barton, president of Wallbuilders, 1994 Anti-Defamation League Report

"Most politically active Christians don't want equal time with homosexuals, abortionists, animal worshipping pagans, witches, radical feminists and pornographers. We want them silenced and mercifully disciplined according to the word of God."
--Jay Rogers reviewing Ralph Reed's Politically Incorrect in "Chalcedon Report," 2/95

"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
--President George Bush, August 27, 1988

http://www.sullivan-county.com/news/mine/quotes.htm

His born again neo Christian crap is scary

how very full of people heaven actually is.

Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/liberalchristians.htm

Right now I am getting the brush ready to burn some non-Christians I found lurking around the town looking for gays to be friends with. I want to stop that before it gets to me.

It all pretty much speaks for itself.

"Deacon Ballinger just likes little girls" - Rev. Jack Hyles

Here is the quote in context:

Deacon A.V. Ballenger was convicted of fondling a 7-year-old girl in Sunday school class and sentenced to 8 years in prison. A.V. Ballenger, a deacon and bus route driver at Hyles' First Baptist Church Hammond, was convicted in March of 1993 (and sentenced in July of 1993 to five years in jail) of molesting a seven year old girl. (This crime occurred in a Sunday School room of the church! Incredibly, after conviction, but prior to sentencing, Ballenger was allowed to resume his FBCH bus route!) The highlight of the sentencing hearing was the testimony of three young women. Each was molested by Ballenger when she was a child, and in each case, before age seven. Jack Hyles, who testified in Ballenger's behalf, defiantly declared the outcome of the trial null and void, claiming that the courts had no jurisdiction in this matter. Hyles told the girl's parents, "Deacon Ballenger just likes little girls."

First Baptist is a "numbers" church. The emphasis is on a headcount. There is a personality cult built around Hyles and other churches which spawned from First Baptist. One of my friends used to attend this church with her family and left when it got too nutty.