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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:05 PM
Original message
If you were forced at gunpoint to drink
a small glass of horse flatus or a large tumbler of bear urine, which would it be?

Not one of the great questions of our age, but a friend asked me this (he didn't have a gun, don't worry), and I simply couldn't decide.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. In The Words Of The Late, Great Ernest P. Worrell
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
2. How to you get farts into a glass?
:shrug:
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Mikimouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Catch 'em, paint 'em green, pour away!
:evilgrin:
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:16 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. You do it and take a pic
and I will beleive you. Get Busy!!
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Mikimouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. HAHAHAHA, No one's got a gun to MY head....
I'll leave that up to the original poster, I only consult on these kinds of questions (and of course, on edible frisbees):evilgrin:
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Well I will come to you when I have
flatulent questions.

Here is one:

If it burns when I fart what does that mean?
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. It Means
You had too much chili for dinner last night.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. I was wondering why the sheets were scorched this morning
I ruin more sheets that way.
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. I imagine if there were enough of them, it'd be a liquid.
Talk about concentrated.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. That would be horse diarrhea
not flatus or farts.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. What if they were farting on Saturn?
Then the gravity and pressure would quickly convert the flatulence into a liquid state.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Now you are reaching.
Reaching WAY out there.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:23 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Drinking farts on Saturn is no more unrealistic than drinking farts at all
If we're going to go for the hypothetical, we might as well go all the way. No need to be half-assed, right?
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Well the whole ass is where you would start looking for the farts
So you are on the right track.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
23. Bad pun, wasn't it?
Best I could do on short notice.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Well I started to say just follow your nose.
But I didn't
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Mikimouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Very interesting point here...
Could one argue that horse farts undergo sublimation on Saturn? Perhaps we would simply have horsefartcicles.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
18. Not if you drank them really, really quickly.
The exact moment of expellation, for instnce, or within seconds afterwards.
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #18
25. Ok so let me get this straight
You and Mikimouse are going to fly to Saturn with a horse, a glass, and a gun. So who is doing the drinking and who is holding the gun?
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:39 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. Please, don't post stuff like that when I'm drinking beer
It gets all over the monitor.
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Mikimouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. Um...CLICK!
n/t
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-04-04 09:39 AM
Response to Reply #26
35. Well beer is better than horse flatus...
coming out your nose.
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-04-04 01:49 AM
Response to Reply #25
34. God, I wish
we had a "quoter" feature on DU. I'd add this post straight away.
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daligirrl Donating Member (572 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #18
32. I don't mean to split hairs here. . .
(So to speak).. .but the horse flatus would be undrinkable, as it would immediately condense and freeze, causing it's capture to be virtually impossible. I've spent years studying this, really.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. Ernest P. Worrell Says....EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW - Poopsicles!!
Edited on Tue Aug-03-04 09:31 PM by mermaid
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking about drinking farts on Saturn.

Hey, you forgot to mention just the coldness of Saturn would cause the gaseous form of the flatulence to condense into it's liquid state...maybe even FREEZE them...Poopsicles!! Fuckin' EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #14
22. Oh, and what about Mercury?
What if the horse was on Mercury?
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TXlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-04-04 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #2
33. Farts are mostly methane
Methane liquefies at -258.2 deg F, or 111.9 Kelvin.

But to preserve the fartiness, you would also need the indole and skatole, and a dash of hydrogen sulfide, which are the components that predominently give the smell. I imagine those have a higher boiling point, so they should easily be present in liquefied farts.
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Unperson 309 Donating Member (836 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
17. But NOBODY's Answered the QUESTION!

H'mmmm.... Horse flatus or bear whizz....

Actually, this is a thinly disgusied taste test between Diet Pepsi and Brew 102 bheer!

Having drunk both, I'll go with the Diet Pepsi. Brew 102 will rot your LIVER!

So put me down for horse flatus.

309
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. Thank you!
One for a glass of bear fart juice.
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. I meant horse, of course. Wouldn't want to screw up your order.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. A sad sign of the level of discourse on DU
And YOU still haven't answered the important question: is it possible to drink horse farts on Saturn?
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Lautremont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #21
28. I'm no scientist, but
yes, yes. I think it's entirely possible. Desirable? Well, if we're spending all that time, money and effort to get there (or if you are, I should say, assuming it's an American effort) then why not?
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 11:43 PM
Response to Original message
29. "Shoot, you Mother-Fucker!"
Because once he gets you doing stuff at gunpoint, it's just a short while until you're getting his "Hot Karl".

"Go ahead and SHOOT, you muther-fucking son of a one-balled cock-sucker, but lemme tell ya, you better fucking kill me with your FIRST shot, 'cuz it will sure as hell be your LAST fucking shot on THIS green earth! Now, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, BOY????"
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. What he said
then I'd make the bastard drink BOTH and call it a taste test.
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Dying Eagle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-03-04 11:56 PM
Response to Original message
31. Well
Before you know it we will all have to sware allegiance to the Repuke Party at Gun point!
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