Vote for Me! (a poem)

Vote for Me!

Vote for me! I want to be your next President.
I've got so much money that needs to be spent.
But let's not quibble over the money component
Let's talk about the real evil - my opponent!
If that cold-blooded manipulator wins
He'll open the door for all manner of sins!
Why, I heard from a solid reliable source
That his third cousin twice removed tried to marry a horse!
He hates puppies - I have that on good account
and his gambling losses are too numerous to count.
After kissing babies, I've seen him wipe off baby slobber.
Of course to me, baby slobber is no bother.
I hate to gossip and say what I shouldn't
but if the Devil offers him a deal there's no reason he wouldn't
take up a mantle of evil and kill Christian babies
I know he'd do it - no ifs, ands or maybes!
He'd tax anyone who ventured to smile
and ban all the buses - we'd have to walk miles!
He'll outlaw the truth. We'll all have to tell lies.
He hates Mom, the flag and especially apple pies.
So, if you don't want this country to go into the trash,
vote for me and contribute with cash.