Some humor to start your weekend

The things you miss on late night TV...

Compilation courtesy of Mike Hersh at mikehersh.com

"Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas; and on the first day of his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish. But he believes they're there and that his intelligence is accurate." David Letterman

Some good news for the economy. President Bush went on a month-long vacation." Jay Leno

"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't appear to be using it anymore. So what the hell?" Jay Leno

"President Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for a 35-day working vacation. This should go over big with all the people taking a can't-get-work vacation." David Letterman

"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?" David Letterman

"If you add up all the time he's spent on the ranch, he's spent more time in hiding than bin Laden and Hussein put together." Bill Maher

"President Bush's economic team is now on their Jobs and Growth bus tour all across America. I think the only job they created so far is for the guy driving the bus." Jay Leno

"President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy. Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats." Jay Leno

They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." Craig Kilborn

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German." Bill Maher, on Schwarzenegger running for Governor.

President Bush is supporting Arnold. But a lot of Republicans are not because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all." Bill Maher

"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language." Conan O'Brien

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger." David Letterman

"Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in Florida are laughing at us." Jay Leno

I'm bookmarking this one.

He's ceased pulling punches, if he ever did. (If memory serves correctly, the guy came out yelling, "Where are you Saddam? You're my bitch!" which wasn't very funny, but certainly conveys a pretty dim view of the Deserter in Chief.)

I had no idea the late night talk shows, on the big broadcast networks, could be so liberal. I don't watch them enough. I'll have to start recording them.

so don't worry much about him. He still has his nightly Clinton bashing joke. I wait for it, I get good and pissed. My wife sez, doesn't look like its gonna happen tonight dear, but it always does...

Letterman, on the other hand is great. His The GW Bush Joke that Isn't a Joke is a masterpiece of timing. They cut a segment of a Bush speech, when he says something goofy they cut from it and Dave intones, that's, "The GW Bush Joke that Isn't a Joke".