You know you're a redneck when........

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the
same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with
a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the
high dive.
5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and
they don't want it.
8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
10. Your grandmother has 'Ammo' on her Christmas list.
11. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
12. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
13. You have used a rag for a gas cap.
14. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
15. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms
so clean.

17. When your entire family has the same dna.

n/t

edit: someone beat me to 16! BASTARD! :P

edit: i'm blind. He beat me to 17, too...

19. If you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws
20. If your dog passes gas and you claim it
21. If you own a Waffle House credit card
22. If you've been accused of lying through your tooth
23. If you've ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction
24. If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income
25. If the UFO hotline limits you to 1 call per day
26. If directions to you house include "turn off the paved road"
27. If your mother keeps a spitoon by the ironing board
28. If your family tree does not fork
29. If the word "NASCAR" appeared anywhere on your wedding vows
30. If your dad ever walks you to school because you're in the same grade
31. If you ever made change from the offering plate

Their DNA's all the same and they have no dental records.

to defend your sister's honor

your sister says you should stop bitching about your cousin, because he is also your brothers fathers in-laws uncle. And dammit. Nobody stops respecting that.

You go to your family reunion to pick up chicks

to meet girls.

Those you guys added to the list were great! I'm going to pass THEM around! :grouphug:

1. you have to take the transmission from your truck out of the shower so your wife can bathe.

2. you walk your son to 5th grade class because you're both enrolled there.

3. your son has a gun rack on his bike.

4. you have someone help you with your new house by taking the wheels off.

5. you mow the lawn and find a car you didn't even know you had there.

6.Your house still has the"WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

7.You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

8.You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"

9.Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

10.Your father executes the "pull my finger trick during Christmas dinner".