This Just In--Laura Bush on college tour to "Bore the Vote"...

State College, PA- In an effort to combat the many democratic tours circling the country with the likes of Bruce Springstein's "Rock the Vote" and Michael Moore's "Slacker" tour, the Bush administration has sent out their secret weapon Laura Bush to "Bore the Vote".

"The whole aim of this thing is to use First Lady Bush's monotone bland demeanor," Explained Karl Rove from the GOP Fortress of Control deep in the Atlantic Ocean, "to semi-hypnotize the students into a drooling state that simulates the highly suggestive state that many of them get into after five pieces of Domino's pizza, a bong hit, and three straight hours of MTV."

Rove added, "We have found that Laura Bush's brand of thin lipped retoric can render catatonia in a college student faster than any physics prefessor alive today. We have clocked her at 7 minutes before we can easily pump subliminal messages to the audience."

In her often laid back townhall type settings she speaks about education for the first ten minutes. At that point the patrons have been subdued enough for the sound man to play agenda based back masked country ballads and the volunteers slap stickers on the audience and put signs in their hands. Then Mrs. Bush gets back up and leads them in a chant of "four more years!"

"They sound like the zombies from 'Dawn of the Dead', but instead of yelling 'Brains!' they yell things like 'Commie Liberals!' and 'Abstinance Not Abortion!'." Said tour manager Michael Powell, "The brainwashing should hold until after the election and well into the Christmas season where the message is reenforced by christian programming."

He added, "Christmas unfortunately only holds them until Spring Break when the beer and boobs come out. Luckily we can raise the terror threat at any time."

Watch for the next Bore the Vote rally at a college near you if you live in a swing state. Each rally is followed by an all meat buffet soaked in Ridaline.