How I spent my weekend - naked!

Canada is a haven for gay-themed and nudist bed and breakfasts and resorts. I finally found one within two-hour driving distance and Ahknaten and I went for the weekend.

When we got there, I wasn't 100% convinced we were in the right place, until someone not wearing a stitch of clothing came to greet us and it turned out to be a friend of ours so we felt better.

While I had talked to the people ahead of time so I had some idea what to expect, I was surprised to find that the majority of people there were older, distinguished-looking men (even if there was a bit of flab in evidence). I had expected the place to be infested with young jocks. It later occured to me that young jocks probably couldn't afford the place.

I knew I had come to a nice place when I saw who was reading what. There were books everywhere. I had brought a bit of light reading (Wittgenstein, Jung, Einstein) and was pleased to see others had brought works of philosophy, psychology and theology. At least I'd have somebody to talk to. Somebody else brought a logic puzzle and that kept several people amused.

People sat in groups and talked or lazed in the sun or got involved in mild sports - badminton seemed popular. Ahktanten and I went canoeing on the lake and walked the trails, surrounded by ducks and flocks of Canada geese forming up for the migration South. Early Saturday and Sunday morning I jogged, nude, through the mist.

Meals were happy times crowded cheek by jowl (literally!) around large tables filled with food and wine and good talk. Evenings we lounged in chairs, wine in hand (plastic glasses) or crowded into the two hot tubs to soak and get out of the chill or looking up and watching the stars. I got a fire going and people would be attracted like moths to the heat and light. Conversation ranged from philosophy to sociology to classical music to the latest gossip to architecture and the obligatory heated debate on gay marriage.

Everyone helped out with the dishes and cleaning especially when it was time to go. People were very polite and went out of the way to make sure we were having a good time. When I wanted to curl up with a book, they respected that and left me alone.

I quickly noticed that I didn't feel aroused or excited by the people around me. It just felt very natural, just a bunch of people hanging around soaking up the sun and having a good chin wag - they just didn't happen to be wearing clothes.

All too soon it was time to go. On the long drive home, my clothes itched and chafed. :-(

A few tips for first-timers (learned the hard way):

• Wear sunscreen! You're going to get exposed to the sun in places you've never tanned before so you will burn easily, especially your tan line.
  
• Naked jogging is healthy and fun, but your wiggly waggly is going to wiggle and waggle side to side and will start to hurt if you don't establish a rhythm where it doesn't resonate.
  
• If hiking or jogging, wear shoes. There's brambles and prickers and things that want to bite you everywere. The extra freedom just isn't worth it.
  
• Mark your towels. You need at least two - your dry "sitting" towel to protect the furniture and the one you towel off with getting out of the hot tub. There's going to be towels everywhere, some left unattended, so stitch a few threads in one corner or mark them with permanent marker so you know which ones are yours.
  
• Watch where your shadow is going. Nudists are serious about their sun. Blocking someone's sunlight is insulting and threatening.
  
• If the resort is in a rural area, be nice to the septic tank. If you don't know what that means, ask.
  
• Keep clean. Shower often (but don't waste water if it's an issue). You're going to be exposing a lot more skin than normal and stale sweat stinks. Discrete deoderant (eg. unscented) is OK, but don't douse yourself in perfume, aftershave or other heavily scented stuff. It's unnecessary and annoys some people (and some, like me, are allergic). People come to get away from stuff like that, not have it literally rubbed in their faces.
  
• Learn the ground rules - they may vary from place to place. The towel rule is pretty much universal, but there may be local variants (eg. no TV before dark). There may be a recommended location for (ahem) encounters and a code that someone has gone there ("John and Fred have gone for a cough cough cough walk"). Use it with discretion.
  
• The hot tub is your friend. It is often the cultural centre of the venue. It needs to be kept clean and safe. No glassware or food or rough housing! Also, no street clothes including cutoffs (you're supposed to be naked, remember). They contain phosphates which mess up the water chemistry. If you've got bug spray or any sort of lotion on (waterproof sunscreen is probably exempt) or you're particularly sweaty or dirty, shower first. If the surface looks scummy or soapy do not get in. If the jets are on, it's supposed to be frothy not sudsy. There are foam sprays to get rid of minor foam. If you find yourself breaking out in a rash, get out immediately. It might be just a heat rash but you might be reacting to something in the hot tub. If you feel faint or sick, get out and tell someone.
  
• Moisturize!
  
• Learn the "culture" of the place before opening your yap. There may be culturnal norms such as "don't talk shop", "no last names" or "no sex talk".
  
• Don't worry if you get aroused. Just throw a towel over it, roll over or ignore it. Hopefully everybody else will too.
  
• Don't get drunk, incoherently stoned, disorderly or obnoxous. You won't be welcomed back.
  
• Games are games. Winning isn't everything.
  
• Don't hit on people. Naturist venues are not sex clubs. If you can't control yourself, get out - you're a pervert, not a nudist.
  

Nudism is healthy! Nudism is fun! Take it off!

:evilgrin: