I dreamed about killing myself last night.

I dreamed that I was going to kill myself and leave a note saying that it was because of this election and that I couldn't live through another 4 years of Bush.

Then a friend came to me and said, if you're going to leave a note, it means you still care. It means you're still connected to the world. You're still connected to life. So what you're planning to do isn't really about wanting to leave the world, it's about wanting to have an impact; it's about the note. So why don't you just revise your note and punctuate it with a different action?

Good idea!

I just wanted to share this because I know I'm not the only one with a history of depression or who may have had thoughts like this.

One thing to note, in my dream, I was not a mom. In my real life, I don't feel in danger of harming myself over this. I will stay strong for my beautiful son.

I love you all.

Take Care,

Rene

EDIT: typo

There are millions of us. Still.

Thanks.

:loveya:

our beautiful son is 19 and hairy but he got out and voted and he cares. And Im worried.

people in this world have been in worse situations than we are now.
i wont tell you that i see a rosy near future but america has been fat and happy for the most part for 50 years and now its time to put forth a little effort.

we know we are right, if we still have our humanity and our morality we have what bush and his supporters do not. it is impossible to support killing 100,000+ people and condoning torture and sexual depravity and still have a decent soul




"what is essential is invisible to the eye" the little prince.

I have to go to work now, but I'll be back at lunch.

Hell, I've got the uber-pathetic double-dog-dammit depression going on, but I ain't suicidal. Maybe kinda pushing at the boundaries of homicidal, but not suicidal. ;-)

I could go for making a hit list about now.

(Of course, I would never seriously advocate violence.)

people hurled themselves off balconies to avoid being taken by the Nazis. There's a time when living isn't worth it, but it is not now.

There's still a helluva fight we can't afford to lose. Take care, rbnyc. You're needed more than you know.

We can still work to avoid things getting that bad. We're all needed.

:loveya:

No one likes the sterotypical "whiny liberal." (ugh...I hate RW talk). Make time for leisure this week. I sure as hell am trying. :hi:

...my son picked yesterday to start smiling. This morning he woke up with a great big smile for me. I couldn't help but be happy. What a wonderful gift.

The rest can be sorted out.

I remember seeing his pic a few weeks back. You're definitely blessed.

Thanks so much. I can't believe he came out of me.

and I offer whatever support you need...cause I know how you feel. I fear for my sister who is mentally ill, I fear for my family which has a small business that could go under cause of *s fucking policies, and I fear for all our lives. We have to unite against him...

Your sister is lucky to have you, too. My best hopes go out to you and your family.

You are NEVER alone ... especially on DU. I'm still VERY greatful for you pointing me in the direction of DU ... huge hugs to you. Somehow we will all get through this. Hopefully with more conviction that what we entered this race with.

I'm so glad I brought you over here. I hardly ever visit that other board any more. It must have been fate that I'd find you there.

:hug:

I'm glad it was worth something. I'm trying my best, as we all are.

Something about the message, not giving up... you guys are so my rock.

:cry:

Don't worry, I could never do that to the people who love me. But yeah, I'm running a little low in the "will to live" department this morning, I have to tell you.

Love you too. :hug:

We can remember together, it's about the note, it's about the message, it's about everything there's left to say and do, and we will help each other to say and do it.

On my way home from College last night I was thinking about it. My depression came on so heavy that I thought about why I shouldn't live instead of thinking about why I should.

It hurts so bad. :hug: :grouphug:

We have a lot to live for. For one thing, we're right and we will be vindicated in time.

The world needs you. The world needs us.

I couldn't think of a reason to live and I am still having issues with it right now.

You have so much to offer this world also.

:hug:

It's so easy to get caught up and think that this is the worst thing and there is no hope, but there is always hope. You know, that's actually a beautiful dream you had. When you think back acros history at all the things people have lived through, we can see both what we're up against and what we're capable, in a good way, of.

:loveya:

Thank you for sharing. My mom has always been active in politics and now she says it's over and will never be involved again. She will not commit physical suicide . But she is committing suicide in another way. To give up on the future is suicide and I'm scared for her. What do I do?

EDd

If so, I would stay with her for a few days. Also, in the past when I have been depressed to the point where self-destructive behavior was a danger, I have made a pact with a close fried, that I would tell them before I did anything to harm myself, and that they would take me seriously. Just having this pact helped because in the moment of the self-destructive impulse, there was a clear action that I had promised to take. Not to trivialize it, but it's almost the same as chewing gum to quit smoking--by the time you find your gum, the impulse has passed. By the time I've contacted my friend, the impulse to hurt myself would become less intense.

If she's ever really in danger of taking her life, I would call Samaritans suicide hotline, or simply call 911.

Otherwise, I'd enter into a kind of buddy system with her.

Your love for one-another is a wonderful well to draw from. As a mom, I can tell you my love for my son has really saved me and given me hope, strength and even happiness.

Best of luck to you both. Please keep us updated. And I'm sure all of DU is thinking of your mom. We all care about her.

My lunch break is over. I'll check in after 5.

She has just given up faith in the system. And that's almost as scary. Thank you for your kind words and I'm sure you son is very proud and grateful to have a mom like you. I'll see you on DU.

EDd

But, I'm not giving up. I'm going to get even more aggressive in the next four years to get rid of Bush. I do NOT want to see my country go down the shithole because of Bush.

But we must prevail. We must eventually prevail. I still feel that a better world is inevitable. I still feel that we have all the important things going for us.