BREAKING NEWS: I have a penis!

If only i knew how to use it...

:silly:

I can teach you how to use it too! :evilgrin:

On edit: you know I'm kidding.

:D

with penis in the title.

Just a heads-up. :scared:

Just having fun.

HERE'S A LITTLE NUMBER I TOSSED OFF RECENTLY IN THE CARIBBEAN....

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis,
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong.
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world's biggest prick.
So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.
Your piece of pork,
Your wife's best friend,
Your Percy or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Mine atrophied from disuse and neglect.

It's simply a limp piece of flesh that gets smaller by the year.

Pretty soon I will be Sexless.

I wonder how the Fundies will handle that. A Nation-State of sexless people. Well they would not have to worry about Gay marriage anymore.

powerful as Clinton's great clenis, it is of no use to any of us.

Sorry. You just don't measure up! :silly:

MzPip
:dem:

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

O8)

I posted the lyrics to "Sensitive Artist" the other night for someone who was above popular culture. Since they're too good to listen to awful pop music, I was sure it would be all new to them.

:)

give it back

I think of the song "My Enormous Penis" (I think that is the correct title) by Da Vinci's Notebook. Hilarious, and I'm a gal!

poor baby . . . :(

I am not a prude, but rules are rules. Pleas review them. Mo sex threads.

Does it work?