You Know You're from the South if:

You Know You're From the South If....

. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.
. . . your wife’s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
. . . you’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.
. . . on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
. . . your child’s first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!”.
. . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
. . . you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre.
.
. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.
. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because you’re using them to feed your hunting dogs.
. . . you can’t visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
. . . you’ve ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.
. . . you have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
. . . there’s graffiti on the bathroom wall in your own house.
. . . you have grease under your toenails.
. . . your idea of a romantic evening is sharing the same spit cup with your girlfriend at a tractor pull.
. . . you clean your house with a water hose.
. . . your sewage system consists of a pipe down a hillside.
. . . your primary income involves pigs or manure.
. . . your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.
. . . you wake up in the morning already dressed for work.
. . . your car ashtray is so packed, you can’t get it out.
. . . you’ve ever towed another car using panty hose and duct tape.
. . . your checks feature pictures of dogs fighting.
. . . the passengers enter your vehicle through the driver’s-side door.
. . . you’ve ever picked up a woman in a convenience store.
. . . people hear your car a long time before they see it.
. . . you have ever taken lawn furniture to a drive-in.
. . . your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.
. . . your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
. . . you use baling wire to keep your car door closed.
. . . you spit on your own floor.
. .

nt

Northern effete Democrats ignore your economic and class problems and then wonder why you vote for the Jesus party.

Obviously. ;-)

pandering to Southern stereotypes.



But it is funny...

I've seen shit like this on placemats in Southern diners - especially in gateway states like Kentucky.

this sixth-generation Texan must not be from the south!

have a great capacity to laugh at ourselves. I'm not sure what the threshold here is. Are we a scapegoat for the election? I think not. There were red precincts in Massachusetts. My precinct here in Virginia went blue. So is stereo-typing the answer? Is it even funny anymore?

In my neighborhood an interracial couple or a gay couple wouldn't get a second glance. How many working class neighborhoods in Mass., Michigan, or Ohio could you say that about?

If what you say is insulting to me, a die-hard liberal Democrat - how insulting would it be to a main stream left-leaning soccer family south of the Mason-Dixon line?

....these types of Jokes are people who have actually known Folks like those Pictured in the Jokes.
I know I have and I find them absolutly wonderful Human Beings.
I don't "follow their lifestyle" but most of them have a heart of Gold..

I'm from NYC, but my father was from Virginia and I spent most of my summers down on the farm in a very remote, rural part of the state.

When I went to college and met deep south southerners and told about my background they always said the same thing: Virginia is not really the South!

I guess it's intra south status anxiety?!?!

<edited>

I'm a lifetime resident of Northern Virginia and we've fought many a battle in the state against repressive tendencies. Proud to say I voted for the first Black Governer, Doug Wilder, and also our present Democratic governor, Mark Warner. We are fighting this war in the trenches. What doesn't help is an insulting attitude toward southerners who should be our friends. That only widens the gap between us and potential voters who, voting their interests, should be on our side.

I was just joking about the attitude of people from Louisiana and Mississippi about the state.

We spent our summers in southside -- the area around Farmville. People still say, "how-de do" when they meet. But in a way it's more hillbilly/appalachian than it is southern.

Last time I checked there were western, northern, eastern AND southern states that went for Bush.

pull up your pants.

...there own behavior?

You should hear some of the Jokes my Jewish friends tell me...they're a riot.

Now that I think about it ....2 of my Gay, Jewish friends. I can't even tell those kinds of joke here cause I know that people would have a fit...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

... appears in the weekly shopper's news.

brother-in-law named Billy Bob. The marriage between her sister and BB did not work out, and my friend said that she told her sister the first clue should have been the name, Billy Bob.

His name was not William Robert-it was "Billy Bob".

My friend says NEVER marry a man named Billy Bob.

the South

How would this taste fried? Here in Oklahoma you can get about anything fried. Yes, yes I know it isn't the South but it is damn close.

In other news I remember being horrified when I went to Fargo, ND and they didn't have biscuits and gravy for breakfast up there.

. . . you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
. . . you’ve ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.
. . . you clean your house with a water hose.

Stereotypes ain't always right ya know...and I know like half of those are from Jeff Foxworthy...

...talent to come up with zingers like these..
I just "borrow" them to further my Career.

...and tell him, "I got a leak in the sink," he'll say, "That's fine. We'll get the toilet fixed tomorrow."

Unless you're from the South (as I am), that one'll take you a while...