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NYC Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:01 PM
Original message
Dear Redneck Son,
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother....

Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they
couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
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buff2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. LOL!
Where did you get that? Been over at the freeptard site again? ;-)
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Medium Baby Jesus Donating Member (592 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. Can't we all just get along?
Funny.
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DIKB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
3. HEY !!!
I'm living here in Arkansas !!! I'm insulted !!! The locals are FAR dumber than this.
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seaj11 Donating Member (506 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:19 PM
Response to Original message
4. I love it!
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Downtown Hound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hi-Larry-ious!
That is a keeper.
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yellowdogintexas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-12-04 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
6. most of these have been around in the form of...
"Indiana/Kentucky jokes"
"Aggie/UT jokes"
or whatever..

Two Kentucky boys drove off the road into the Ohio river, the driver got out but the two in the back drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down"...etc.

Still funny, still silly, and you can plug in anything you want!


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