Married DUers: Question on Merging Finances with your Spouse

Although my wife and I have been married for over a year, we have maintained separate checking and savings accounts. This system has worked well in some respects; we each maintain a level of financial independence, and each of us is free to purchase luxury items (books, CDs, etc.) without being scrutinized by the other. However, we are now preparing to merge our financial assets. We believe we need to simplify our bill paying and more effectively build our savings. Do any of you have tips or advice on combining finances? Are there good strategies for maintaining some level of financial independence within this arrangement?

Also, do any of you use financial software ( i.e., Quicken) to manage your money?

Thanks for any help.

Even when we weren't "married," we had a joint account. Each took whatever money was necessary, either to pay bills or buy personal items. I guess it was never an issue. It's certainly not now, with both of us making about the same income.

But I wonder if it becomes an issue once the finances are merged.

...and until last year, I didn't have an income. Fortunately, my spouse earned enough to take care of all of us while I had the babies, etc. We have a joint checking, savings, account, as well as an AMEX we use a great deal. If the AMEX bill gets a little high, we stop using it. I have all my bills pulled directly from my checking account, so we have a pretty good idea from month to month what discretionary spending money we have. Does that help?

We have one account as well. We buy what we want for the smaller stuff (up to a few hundred dollars) anything larger we touch base with each other on.

It's not an issue for us at all, but I understand that finances can be a really tough issue for some couples. We're just really financially compatable.

Good Luck!

BernieBear

Open a joint checking account at the same bank that you both (preferably) already have checkings and savings. If you don't have the same bank, I'd recommend changing banks. Then you work out your finances and agree on an amount that each of you contribute at a certain time of the month that will cover all your shared expenses, going out to dinner, etc.. Easiest thing in the world if you link your accounts properly, so that the joint account shows on each of your accounts page online. Then it's just a couple of clicks away to transfer cash from one to the other, and you both can see the history of transactions.

That way you maintain your personal space to purchase your own things from your own account, and you both contribute equally towards your joint expenses. I've also opened one joint credit card that is only used for joint purchases, going out to dinner together, etc. That card is paid from the joint checking.

You can also start a joint savings account with the same equal contributions.

I tried to get my ex to see the virtues of this system, to no avail. One of the many reasons why he's my ex. :sigh:

And if I ever set up house with anyone else, I'd do it this way again.

Our account structure:

1. joint checking & savings
2. my checking & savings
3. his checking & savings

He is in charge of the finances and uses MS Money to balance and manage everything. I have my own 401k and investment accounts, but I don't even look at them anymore, he goes through and organizes my investments for me. (I lost a lot of money through not investing wisely enough during the late 90's.)

Every two weeks on payday we each put equal sums into joint savings & joint checking. All bills paid, except for our personal credit cards, come out of those two accounts.

It's pretty simplified. I have one bill to pay each month, he has one bill to pay each month. The rest he pays out of our joint.

and then there are the investment accounts, but that's another issue.

if i can offer one piece of unsolicited advice, it would be to make yourselves sit down at least twice a year and go over your finances together, and your financial goals. seriously. it doesn't hafta be gruesome, but you should be serious about it and spend a few hours on it. even if you don't have much money. you'll really be surprised how much stress in your life is caused by *fear* of financial uncertainty. when you have a handle on what you have you have less fear, and these meetings open up lines of communication between the two of you without one of you feeling like you hafta confront the other. so make it a regularly scheduled event, like the first new moon after each new season or something.

and use a credit union instead of a bank.

it makes the most sense. And you still retain some financial independence :-)

and cheap. For security concerns, I wouldn't engage in the 'online' features unless you have some sort of kick-ass Firewall set up.

You need to communicate constantly on spending, or you will be disappointed. There will be arguments, inevitable, I'd say, but I've definitely found that combining forces into one checking account is way easier for bill paying, back-tracking costs, etc.

There is no easy answer to make it easier.

We discuss big $$ items, and have never had any issues. Sometimes we will trade off or delay for some reason, but we just keep it all on the table.

Hubby likes new cars every 3 years - he keeps them 4-5 now, I have a tendancy to want to give all of our $$ to enviornmental and animal rescue groups - I volunteer more now and give less.

Fortunately neither of us are clothes horses.

We both agreed on using our fairly decent tax break to support the Dems in this election.

As to Quicken, we used it 6-7 years ago - things got more complex, and we use an accountant now.

In a former relationship, my SO and I kept one joint account into which we put enough money to pay our shared expenses - we figured out how much needed to go into it on a monthly basis. In addition, we each kept personal accounts. It worked well - there was no confusion as to how much money was in the account (something that had happened in my previous marriage when we'd both withdraw or spend and the other was unaware of it) and we both had something we felt was "our" money.

Oh, and I use Quicken and love it!

I think there are advantages to having separate accounts that might not seem apparent now but will down the road.

We started out with a combined bank account right around the time we got married. We had very little money, so the bank account was really a non-issue for us.

I've worked in the financial industry for a long time and I've seen many, many cases where one spouse (or relative or friend) decides to end the relationship &, before breaking it off, cleans out all the joint accounts and leaves the other person pennyless. It happens a lot with both joint accounts & powers of attorney. The saddest part is how many children/grandchildren will rob grandma blind. People are really sick. :(