Using a Brita filter to turn cheap vodka into decent vodka!

http://www.ohmygoditburns.com/?p=4

In the alchemical tradition, creation of the Philosopher’s stone is the ultimate end to man’s needs. The stone has the power to cure disease, prolong life, and possesses the added benefit of being able to transmute metals, as in lead into gold.

As scienticians, we believe that such an object exists, and that it can be used for our own dastardly purposes.

Our theory is that a simple brita water filter can be used to make bad vodka, into good. In our case this meant turning a Vladimir™, into a Ketel One™. At $11.09 for 1.75 liter (Ketel is 11.99 for the 350 ml), Vladimir is a steal. It is, however, painful to drink, has a repugnant aftertaste, posesses a bouquet reminiscent of rubbing alcohol. Our working theory was that these terrible qualities were caused by a lack of proper filtration, and that running our Vlad through a charcoal filter would remove some of the impurities causing these odors and flavors.



10:49 - 6th filtration done
At this point it was clear that there were no vast improvements over the last 2 filtrations.

Comments:
Adam - “Stability achieved”
Ken “We’re there. Either we’ve burnt out the filter, or reached the point of equilibrium”

We decided that we should try this filtration chilled, so I broke out my trusty shaker and some ice.
Shake-a shake, and pour.

Comments on chilled:
Ken - “Wow” and “goes down like water.”
Fletcher - “Quite Comfortable.”
and I gave it a boring “Good.”

I don't generally drink Vodka unless I want to get buzzed or smashed

charcoal filters simply have lots of nooks and crannies that the stinky stuff likes to stick to.

Only real way to separate mixtures of alcohol and water, that I'm aware of, is something that takes advantage of different boiling or freezing points, distillation being the obvious example.

drinking the 6th filtration on a completely different day and not after >5 shots of vodka :)

the funniest fucking thing I've read in years. Let me know if you can turn Popov into Grey Goose.

of an old bartender "truism" of shots - after you've burned out your taste buds on the first shot, NOBODY can tell the difference, anyway! Do this experiment: get some Bacardi 151, a (small) bottle of Stolichnayna Crystal (IMHO still the best vodka), and a big bottle of Country Club rot-gut vodka. Have them do a straight shot of the 151, then do blind taste tests of the Stoly and CC.

Old Bartender trick, when someone complained that their drink wasn't "strong enough", we had them pegged. We would pour a little 151 down the straw (no real drinker drinks through a straw, but somehow the complainers ALWAYS did) and then ask if it was strong enough NOW! After a cough and splutter or two, they'd always say yes, and then we would "short-pour" them the rest of the night. Their taste buds were dead, they couldn't tell the difference. The extra shots that they didn't get after that...., well, those went into my "shift drink" at the end of the night.

Of course, I'm a different person, now:evilgrin:

is that after the first one, it doesn't matter what they taste like, good bad or indifferent.

I need to make a triple filter?