I formally challenge DS1 to a duel

It will be unlimited alka-setzer tabs and spray bottles from 10 feet.

The reason? There isn't enough dada in the lounge, and I blame DS1. And the ferret eating the 11 foot tall styrofoam briefcase.

Haven't you ever read the rules of dueling?


Anyway, I'll be your second. Let's get that sonofabitch.

the weapons.

But you gotta admit, alka-seltzer and spray bottles was pretty goddamned genius of me.

Thanks for being the second, and I say - we will indeed get that sonofabitch!

We shall duel with lawn darts, blindfolded. One whistle blast is your turn, two whistle blasts is mine. Upon one whistle blast you shall cease movement and announce your location with a clearly audible statement - "I stand where I may, I fall upon God's mercy" - and you shall await either death or two whistle blasts, whereforth I shall cease my blindfolded movement, and await your lobby.

See you at noon. Cheers!

You shall never hit me, for I, in the platform shoes given me by George Clinton, i shall be taller than the Yukon! The Euphrates will protect me from all criminal activity on your part, and the wall of cyclonic wildebeest in my bathroom is full of post it notes and tarot cards.

have no effect on me!!

Dare you invoke the mighty George Clinton in order to cheat?

FOR SHAME!

You disgrace the Order of the Lawndart, instead we shall duel with Hypersonic Rice Launchers - and wear each other down with a withering barrage of pointed starch!

Ready your weapon!

for my rice launcher, printed in the laundry room of a nascent, but eldritch, Irish restaurant is full of wicked barbs, fiddlehead ferns, and one alabster crimson enshrouded vole's toilet!

under your barrage of starches of highly interesting origin, I shall fall knowing that soon you will fall under the spell of the mighty

You weenie. What's the matter? Tiger got your Doc Martins? Can't handle the onlsaught of beef-based jingiostic plant fertilizer?

HA HA!! Even Saarbrucken man had a wallet, dolt!!

I agree, compressed chilifart futures are a hell of an investment, but THERE IS DUELING TO BE DONE, BOY!

there is still an alderman in the third ward with a bruised sage plant, and he's oozing out of his pores the dow jones reports from 1957.

Is there no mercy in bedlamland? Or is there only knickers with Don Knotts' signature left in the fridge?

Don't try to mislead us with your perspicacious tendancy toward Ouiji board manipulation.

Ye bring out the witchcraft, and that makes me legally obligated to mention that I'm a thrice-convicted Dada offender, and if you should do anything that could even in the remotest manner of looking, sounding or feeling like Dada, you've violated the Daschle/Quayle amendment, which clearly points out that violating that which yets to be identified shall be subject to punishment via Don Knott's fridge, which was in fact a stage prop. On top of that, you shall be sentenced to genetically installed gills and living in my fish tank - where I will install a filter to make sure you don't dare swim up the filter and make a run for it.

You bastard.

aquarium escape!

But your idiotic catterwauling shall not dispose from me from escaping anyway, you miserable fuck. I shall use the wanton glow-rod of the Diaspora to manage my escape, far and long before you ever even have a chance to engill me, for the leather suspenders of Boots Randolph shall bring me justice.

YOU ASS! And not only are you an ass, but you totlaly failed to acknowledge the feathering quotient on the recombinent DNA pattern of those who have swum afar. And not only afar, but the baton of Rose Bowl parading is also in jubilent agreement with my ankles, and that means something. Something which you can't understand, or can't even not fail to misunderstand. And Hans is a German and he have my pen.

and yet you continued to taunt me time and time again. If it weren't for you and your Kingshit Sherrif we wouldn't be in this mess. You drew first blood, you drew first blood.

scramjet - the one that disappeared faster than light when introduced to work.

We call him Mr. President. He's one hell of a weapons system.

can I watch? :9

Have you hacked into my COMPUTER OVER THE INTERNETS!!
I was just writing a paper on Art Deco and backhandedly slapping Da-freakin-da around, and then YOU show up challenging ME to a DUEL??

I CALL SHENNANIGANS!!

Fucker.

And I can do anything over the Internets because the LIEberals are refusing to block porn at libraries!

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Yeah - that's right - I'm saying it loud and clear: YOUR ONTOLOGY IS CRAP! IT'S AS BANKRUPT AS DESTINY'S CHILD REMAKING CITIZEN KANE AS A MUSICAL!

i'll be right back.....

Ho hum.

:toast: is it ok to drink on said davenport?

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

:eyes: