foul mouthed rant recieved in email. Click at your own risk.

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

We even do as we are told till we hopefully figure things out.The worst thing we do is interpret history for our own reasons and find peace in war.

but I enjoyed reading this rant. Makes a lot of good points and anger is such a cleansing thing sometimes.

:nuke: :cry: :kick:

That post is pure catharsis. :)

...to admit that I agree with almost all of it.
I'm just plain sick & tired of taking it in the ass.....

When I read it out loud to some friends, that's what they thought...

www.fuckthesouth.com

maybe they should make it into a children's book.

:)

I couldn't agree more. I'm proud to be from the south, but ashamed at what some people here act like.

They are out creating meth labs and saying that gays are hurting society.

I'd love to send that to some newspapers, but the language is WAY too "northern"(lol) for these people!

Thanks!

Hey, some of us are as liberal and caring as you guys, oh, okay, y'all! ;-)

Bobby
Portland, TN

i cleaned up the language (a la Norman Mailer 1950's) and sent it around- happy to post here if you want it...
chack later.

whalerider55

There are lots of us who don't feel that way.

It's been all over DU for the last week or so, met with varying degrees of hostility, humor, tolerance, intolerance...you get the idea.

This is the first time I've acutally posted in any thread related to this email (which is actually from a website - http://www.fuckthesouth.com/) and for good reason. I thought it was humorous, echoed my sentiments exactly, and it was just better that I keep my mouth shut because.....I'M A SOUTHENER! However - I'm a Southener with a big difference. I moved to New York State over 10 years ago and one of the reasons was because I was sick and tired of living in areas that thought David Duke "has some good ideas". So, before anyone gets into another politically correct tirade about how this essay is "just so wrong in so many ways", I'm here to state that not only do I support the message - I backed it up. And I'll never return to the South.

It's just as angry, but doesn't speak in terms of north and south quite so much. It's more blue state vs. red state or just plain "WTF is wrong with Bush supporters?"

Anyway, it's really long so I'll provide a link and just the first few paragraphs. I highly recommend reading the whole thing though.

http://www.portlandphoenix.com/features/other_stories/multi2/documents/04258175.asp

--snip--

Screw you, America
Sometimes the fish in the barrel deserve to die
BY CLIF GARBODEN

DON’T FORGIVE my anger. All this needs to be said. And I know that as soon as that stiff-faced to-the-manure-born right-wing lackey in the White House tries to appoint a 21st-century counterpart to Roy Bean to the Supreme Court in a few weeks, more people are going to wish they’d said it sooner. John Kerry fucked up. More important, America fucked up. And the people who fucked up the most — you infamous red-staters — are going to suffer along with the rest of us. To put it in lingo a NASCAR devotee would understand, "Y’all deserve a good talkin’-to."

John F. Kerry, you’re first.

In your befuddling concession speech, you actually called for unity and healing. Sounds good, clown, but can’t you even imagine for a second that the people who supported you so zealously for the past five months might just see that insincere gesture of good sportsmanship as a betrayal? See, unlike you pols, we voters actually believe in shit. We believe that George W. Bush and his henchpeople are a real threat to the survival of democracy. We believe that they’re killing people for profit. And we believe that they don’t have a d**n clue about forfending terrorism on US soil.

That’s not a position gap; that’s an ideological gash. And it’s not going to heal, because, unlike you expedient professional truth-manipulators, I’m not prepared to meet the enemies of freedom halfway just because you lost the election. Your speechwriters might see the Bush administration’s failings as nothing more than convenient fodder for your campaign blather, but the GOP junta’s sins don’t go away just because decrying them no longer serves your ambitions. Last week they were the imperialist pigs who misled us into war and you were the savior. Now we’re the d**n Getalong Gang?! Screw that. Fight back or shut up.

Now, the rest of you ...

A lot of us effete Easterners want to know: what the fuck is wrong with you?! You voted against your self-interest at every turn (you dumb-asses in South Dakota deserve special credit for voting out one of the most powerful Democrats in the Senate) and re-elected an ignorant cowboy who can’t be trusted to remember a lunch order, never mind run a country. What in the name of God ...?! Wait, it was in the name of God, wasn’t it? Rendered weak and ignorant by a spoon-fed climate of fear, you slack-jawed inbred flatlanders have sought refuge in the traditional twin towers of mindlessness — jingoistic patriotism and fundamentalist religion. God’s on your side. Like hell. Jesus loves us, dammit.

Okay, you want God? Let’s talk about God. Your religion is bogus. Fundamentalism, the facile belief in the unexplained and un-researched, is something you born-agains (couldn’t get it right the first time, huh?) share with Al Qaeda, whose ideologues doggedly adhere to religious misinterpretations every bit as silly and dangerous as yours. Just like you, Muslim fundamentalists long to impose an unrealistic and intolerant pseudo-Calvinist morality on the world. In fact, America’s religious right has so much in common with the Shiah, it’s a wonder you guys don’t invite them to join the Rotary. Born-againsters look for the face of Christ in the wallpaper; fundamentalist Muslims hallucinate the voice of the 12th Imam; but aside from that (and extremely divergent attitudes toward pork), you both hate the same stuff — homosexuality, pacifism, Jews, education, uppity women, enlightenment, short skirts, gangsta rap, tattoos, infidels ... (They also share your love of super-lethal weaponry.)

Well, sorry to burst your holy bubble, Jesus freaks, but God did not create the world in seven days; that’s just ignorant. Like a lot of stuff in the Bible, it didn’t happen. And Moses looked more like Jeff Goldblum than like Charlton Heston. Jesus didn’t hunt; he fished. Jesus wouldn’t want you (or anyone else) to have an assault rifle. What would Jesus do if he met you? He’d ask you to stop ruining his hard-won good reputation. (Y’know the guy died to redeem your sorry ass; you might at least show a little respect for what he was really about.)...


http://www.portlandphoenix.com/features/other_stories/multi2/documents/04258175.asp

"We nice people actually expected reasoned arguments, logic, and incontrovertible evidence to convince you that Kerry was the better candidate. Turns out that the GOP’s double whammy of fear and loathing is a more powerful vote-getting tool."

The harder we tried to convince people with reason and found unreceptive minds for it...the more depressed we were at the outcome of this election.

and has been duly forwarded around, link and all.

I too refuse to be reconstructed into a redneck empire.

Just another deet this writer left out -- what religion has the highest divorce rate? Did you guess Southern Baptist? If so you are correct. What religious demographic group has the lowest divorce rate? Interestingly enough, godless atheists.

If teaching evolution is the root of all evil, because it "teaches that there is no God" (which is what rednecks assume it teaches) -- then one would predict that crimes would be carried out mainly by paleontologists and zoologists, and geneticists. But these educated people are a pretty well behaved bunch -- explain that one, Senator Sentorum. Some of us manage to lead lives that never get so out of control in the first place that we have to find salvation in some absolutist religion.

I repeat -- I will not be reconstructed into a redneck empire.

& so am i...




nice post!

www.fuckthesouth.com

This 7th or so generation North Carolinian laughed her ass off-

Cheers!

Stephanie