Best "The Kids in the Hall" skit?

One of my favorites would have to be 'Girl Drink Drunk', "Oh come on Ray. What about a Chocolate Choo Choo? It's a girl drink. Tastes like candy."

"STAY DOWN!!!!!!!"

crssshhh...crssshhh...

NGU.

I'm crushing your avatar head!



:headbang:

"So son, how many girls called you today? Zero? Well how many girls called you yesterday? Let me guess - zero? Well, you know what they say son, zero plus zero equals FAG! Zero times any other number always equals FAG - think about it ya little mathematician."

Very close second: "IT'S CITIZEN KANE! IT'S CITIZEN KANE! IT'S CITIZEN KAAAAAAANNNNNEEEE!"

McDonald and Foley are superb together.

where they were fur traders in canoes going down Madison Ave in NYC.

"It's a lot like Vancouver."

I guess it's funnier when you live there.

ON EDIT: Whups, I thought it was a Buddy Cole segment, but in this case, it was Scott Thompson playing himself. (http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/five/david.html)

Other than that, "DeRill" always made me laugh. Does anyone else ever have a little oompah band playing in their head?

skits.
"Some kids at school smoke. And they taught a dog to smoke."

and even if the flow rises to a raging ruddy torrent, I'll ford that stream fetching herbal tea and pamprin.....

and it warms my heart to see so many yanks enjoying one of Canada's finest exports

Dear Guy I Clotheslined As You Went By on Your Bicycle.

You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now I've asked myself over and over why did I clothesline that guy. Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around.

In all fairness, It was pretty funny, I mean the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat.

I mean, you really should have seen it, It was just like WAM! BAM! (hahaha)

ANY-WAY....

In closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital be, I'm forced to wonder 'What were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway, Huh, ya asshole? side-WALK!

Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves.

Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea.

Hamilton Place, 93 or 94

envy begins..... now

envy beginning yet?

Sounds like a Dave Foley sketch.

Dave Foley

understated comic genius

"Now you're cooking with evil gas."

I met my wife at a Kids in the Hall taping in 1993.

Hi, my name's Dave Foley, and, uh, something you might not know about me is that .. I have a good attitude towards menstruation. That's right, I'm the guy! The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!

http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/one/menstr.html

AND

Dave: Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct humans, probe the anally and release them.

Kevin: Yeah... AND?

Dave: Well, doesn't it seem kind of point-LESS?

Kevin: I really don't think about it.

http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/four/analprob.html

Hang ten, you're busted!

Bruce: I'm a bikini inspector. It's not a joke, I inspect bikinis. It's my job. You know, I see a lot of guys on the beach wearin' "Bikini Inspector" t-shirts. But they're not real bikini inspectors, they just wish they were, for some weird reason. I don't know why anyone would pretend to be a bikini inspector. It's a menial job. You gotta take a bus there every day. There's an hour right there. You work in a dank factory, you gotta inspect four or five thousand units, your eyes start to go buggy and squinty. Shift work too, ya know? And for that you make, well, let's just say the amount of money I make is my own business. Although I do make somewhere around $8.67 an hour. Bikini inspector.

The only job worse than that is the job I had in Collingwood, Ontario. Workin' in the woods. I was on the beaver patrol. Rotten job, mud in your boots, trapsin' through the underbrush lookin' for beaver dams that are cloggin' up the irrigation system. One beaver even bit my thumb. But it's all part for the course on the beaver patrol. You know, I'd go out after work, beaver bites all over my thumbs, go to a bar for a quick drink, and I'd see guys there wearin' t-shirts that said my job on them. But not like other rotten jobs, like "Fry cook" or "Night security guard at an out of the way mall." So, I'd be sittin' there, tryin' to find pride in my work, wearin' my beaver patrol t-shirt, and the women stare at ya. Well, I'm sorry ma'am, if I'm not a doctor,but thems the breaks. One woman even bit my thumb.

But I'm gettin' out of here. Tryin' to get on as a "Muff Diver." Read it on a t-shirt. I don't know what it is, but, that job can't be much worse than what I'm doin' now, eh? Eh? Yeah....

Scott was never funnier than when sipping tea in a sari with a dot on his forehead.

I admit it. I peed a little.

"See the faggot, runnin' from the rednecks..."

;-)

That there's comedy gold.

Monty Python, sure.
SNL, sure.
Mad TV, sure.
Mr. Show, sure.
Ben Stiller show, sure.

Kids in the Hall...went right over my head.

These guys? These guys at school? Smoke.

Can I have an onion?

~~~~~~~~

Anyone else remember this one?

"Here's the brush."

"How much does somethin' like that pay?"

I also love the Gavin sketch where he regales the Jehovah's Witnesses with the story of how his family collapsed after his mom died.

"Dad, you're going to hell."

(Dad takes swig out of whiskey bottle) "Surprise, surprise."

I miss the Kids.

and the dog ate it!

or

It's the truth!

or

Where is he? Who is he with? What is he doing? Is he thinking of me?

or

Terriers are my very favorite breed!

or

Looooooooooooooopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!

on roller blades

also

over at the pretentious artists guy's studio with the smushed spiders

and

when he/she brought her boyfriend over and went to the bathroom to change and the bofriend (Kevin) had these horrific religious visions, passed out and Mark as the school girl came out of the bathroom and found the boyfriend being humped by dog


I also love Bruce's terrier song- when he pauses in the cemetery to say dead dead dead dead- cracks me up every time

oh hell I just looked up and saw that in your message. There was the "blinded by the light" misheard lyrics, but I can't remember if it was on KITH or Vacant Lot.

Scott wears various outfits, each somewhat more butch-yet-gay than the last, until he finally dresses in a bear costume, mauls the kid before he can say "fag", and then says "fag" at him. I was laughing my ass off when I saw that.

With Jocelyn the French Canadian Whore and Maude.

P.S. Doesn't Dave Foley make a disturbingly attractive woman?

but does have pretty feminine features. I think cheney looks better as a woman, but not Scott Foley.

whoa! weird.

to disagree.

i love that.

is my fav too.

The Bartender 'soliloquies' by Scott Thompsen
Even if they were soliliquies-I liked them.

I am going to have to fire up the tapes I see.

Kids in the hall was a great show. I liked the skit where Dave was manservant Hecubus with the Kevin guy as his master (don't remember the character's name). I also like some of Bruce's poems/songs.

The most demented kids in the hall skit I have ever seen had something to do with some runway models and a dead body that was in the bathroom at this fashion show. I can't remember if they killed the guy or what. Lots of people were waiting to get in the bathroom, so to dispose of the body, they chopped it up a started flushing it down the toilet. They had to hurry up and get back on the runway, but there were still some limbs left, so the models wore the limbs over their shoulders like boas. They walked down the runway wearing the dead guy's limbs. People snapped pictures of them and everyone acted like they were so fashionable and trendy. Anyone else see this one?