Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich attributed to Cheesus

From The Spoof


Written by ej moore


Romano confesses praying often to Cheesus.

PORT TRINITY, TN – Just when everyone thought the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay was the most famous holy food relic to date, along comes Harvey Romano of Port Trinity, Tennessee, with his claim to a Velveeta holy sculpture.

Romano refers to his pasteurized, processed cheese food form as Cheesus because it so strongly resembles his personal Savior. Gonzalez told reporters that Cheesus appeared to him one hot, summer day only a few hours after he had visited the local Piggly Wiggly grocery in his hometown of Port Trinity.

"I'd bought some groceries, and I stopped for confession with Father Tony before I drove back to my farm," he said. "I had a really intense and soul-cleansing confession, and I remember the priest told me that I should always be mindful to be on the lookout for the signs and wonders of God."

Romano said that when he arrived home from confession and began putting his groceries away, he noticed the box of Velveeta he had purchased was "glowing as if it had some kind of a halo." Upon opening its cardboard container and removing the protective foil, Romano said he immediately dropped to his knees and began to pray when he saw the shape the Velveeta had assumed.

More:
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i7001

Eh, nevermind. That one's too obvious.

What a friend we have in cheeses - hymn
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What a friend we have in cheeses
Chedder munster and Guryere
But what a hassle tis to carry
past security at US Air.

O what peace we often forfeit
O what needless pain we bear
All because we carried cheeses
on board a flight of US Air.

We were fondled and then X-rayed
Because of troubles in the air
The screener had trememdous courage
to plunge their hands in underwear.

Did we seem a fiend unfaithful
who would bomb without a care
Jesus is our cheese a weakness
in security at US Air.


Are we weak from ol bin Laden
cumbered with a load of care.
The guards ran to seek some refuge
from tin wrapped cheese we had to share.


Do the guards despise, forsake you?
at air ports everywhere
They are armed and may likely shoot you
if they find some cheese in there.


By the time this made the papers
the head line was in total error.
Capture: praise and endless worship
for the guards at US Air.



by Don Hakman -