American Liberals Sneaking Across Border Into Canada

American Liberals Sneaking
Across Border Into Canada

Author Unknown
11-24-4

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada Has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among Left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O' Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

Not real effective," he said. The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals Near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often Wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, We get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are Creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just cant support them," an Ottawa resident said. How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

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That my fellow Denver libs have no sense of humor.

Sad...

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So you REALLY don't have a sense of humor!

Not really sure what to make of being called "UnAmerican" for actually having one, but to each his own, I suppose...

There are many other forums that might appreciate it, but I don't.

have expressed your discontent eloquently. Seriously, man, could SOMEONE explain to me what is so offensive about self- deprecating humor? You make it sound like a personal attack on fellow Libs, when I am willing to bet it was written by one. To be called "Unamerican" and "ignorant" for trying to infuse some humor does not seem very "liberal" to me.

Another quote from her site:

"Some interesting facts on the library including the list of top donors to the Clinton library fund. I will admit that the top donors have also donated to Republican libraries. Although I do hope that Michael Moore is paying attention since he detests the Saudi Royal family and it's "supposed" connections to GWBush he really should read this interesting article about their donations to the Clinton library.

Then there's this article that understands the library is nothing but an extension of the Clinton administration. An experiment in Hollywood fantasy in DC."

That's not where I found it, but bash away, my friend, get it out...

it was posted to see what other posts appear to be. How on earth is that bashing?

...I got an email from a friend, posted it because it was funny and got caught in this Sh*t storm! I have posted a # of articles on election fraud with FAR too many links to vet. I found this funnny and thought I'd share, never suspecting there could be THIS many libs that would be actually offended...didn't think ANY would, but then again, I guess it's like Monty Python- ya either love 'em or hate 'em!

regardless of location, is that any given time, anything, no matter how innocuous, can offend somebody.

I once made this joke on a message board:

"How many college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to do it, five to design the t-shirt."

I, and most people on the particular board thought nothing of it, but lo and behold, I still got some posts from people about the denigration of college students.

Ya can't please everybody all the time, even within your own group.

...as I AM walking as I type!

Not as funny as the Onion thing about kids growing up so fast (pretty soon they're old enough to hit back), but funny. So call me a fascist or whatever.

self-deleted original.

Sorry for mistaking you for a Bush-supporter (ultimate insult, eh?) but I would think people on this side would have a better sense of humor. I thought it was funny and nothing to get pissed about.

????

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...what on EARTH is the prob here? I thought this was pretty damn funny and am having a VERY hard time understanding why this is creating such a ruckus...

would read to make his audience laugh. It is an attack (and not a very funny one) on liberals that wallows in all of the anti-liberal stereotypes. You didn't provide a link to the source and you gave no explanation as to why you posted it.

Jay

that you don't laugh at jokes about Rethugs? This is, again, self-deprecating humor and exactly the kind of article I would find at The Onion. And looking back, I don't really see anyone posting the WHY of their message. And the reason it wasn't sourced is that it came from a lib friend via email...

But it seems there are some who don't see the humor in it!

If anywhere?

...sorry if it's in the wrong spot.

freerepublic.com

They will love it.

But, of course, they are monitoring this thread already.

you need to rein it in and take it for what it is: Self-deprecating humor meant to do just that- amuse. To go on w/ obscenities and calling names just because YOU think it's some kind of "Freeper Conspiracy" to undermine DU is uncalled for and more than a bit juvenile. We are both on the same side here (and even the same city!) man, and I would gladly take ya out for a beer to make up for what is, at worst, an unintended offense.

Posting this shit in General Discussion is Freeper flamebait.

If you want to post this sort of shit, do it in the Lounge or on Freerepublic.

and wanted to thank you personally for the advice! Having never been to freerepublic.com, I guess maybe I should wander over there and see how many people I can p*ss off! I've got some FAB Neocon jokes?!

Are you comparing the Lounge to FR?

That's not very nice. I would be more inclined to compare GD to FR, given the amount of viciousness and flaming that goes on GD.

FR if posting seriously.

GD if posting seriously, get it?

I thought this was funny...

If you can't poke fun at ourselves then how can you possibly make fun of freepers...


Or is it that the poster has a smaller number of posts...

I've noticed this rather startling trend as well. It seems that validity is sometimes granted by the # of posts a person has. That's like saying a crap author is great because he's written more than one book! Of course, those veteran DUers that have been here for awhile certainly DO deserve respect, but I see no reason for the ridiculous cries of "Freeper" and "Unamerican" and "Ignorant" (thanks DenverDem!) on those of us who, through no fault of their own, just recently discovered DU and post something that they do not agree with.

And I agree: If you don't have a sense of humor, what DO you have?

And why is it that someone with a low post count is automatically deemed a "newbie"?

I lurked here for quite a while before I started posting.

:shrug:

...oooo, crap, I'll bet that "ain't" is gonna get jumped on as a stereotype of The Ignorant American and make this "newbie" just another "freeper"...sheesh.

in ethos.

but just talk alot. I've noticed quite a few that 'signed up' after I did but their post counts skyrocketed quickly, giving the impression of 'an old hand'! Maybe instead of post number it would be more informative to have date joined?

...we should appoint a panel of political experts to personally review each post for quality of content and rate it one to ten! lol

It makes a good point. And is hilarious.

---snip

Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

from the Columbus Dispatch, for credit's sake.

http://www.techievampire.net/wppol/

"I'm also thankful that men like this existed. That they give up everything that I'm able to be thankful for in an effort to do the right thing for right reasons. Those who in a world where it's all about "me" decide it's about something larger than themselves and have the courage to live their beliefs. Even if it means losing their life."

(On edit, it's about soldiers and the Iraq War. Where are the words of sorrow that we're there in the first place?)

Gonna send them some feedback- this is good stuff!

And the "unknown author" is one Jo Mac Clellan, according to the EXACT same thing posted here: http://www.stumps.org/stumps/messages/18253.html

It's not mean spirited, and makes fun of the ridiculousness of its own premise.

Anyone that can't laugh at themself should check themself for rw tendencies.

did anybody really read it?

THAT'S what I'M talkin' about!

You;'re the one posting flamebait.

and I intend to pass it around to everyone on my email list...
If you can't laugh at yourself, you are in pretty bad shape.

Now sit down, and take a few breaths.. IT IS FUNNY!!!
If all Conservative ribbing was this good-natured this nation would not be in the situation that it in today.

I guess we all are rubbed a little raw. But come-on.

Posting it in this forum is flamebait, pure and simple.

For putting it in the WRONG place, but GEEZ Walt, why does this offend you so deeply?

And I'll call it what it is.

You don't know me, or have any idea what I believe, yet you insist upon calling names, passing judgement and overall, have seemingly become that which you argue against.

I thought it was a riot.

Sheesh!! There are some major large branches of trees inserted into some rectums today.

and reminds me a lot of The Onion, which I absolutely love.

I don't quite understand some of the more, um, unenthusiastic comments here: If we can't laugh at stereotypes, what have we become?

Geez, if anything, the final line about concerts and postage stamps as the misadministration's version of "reaching out" suggests that this was not meant to bash liberals, but make fun of stereotypes.

Heck, maybe I'm just in a good mood because not only do I have a four day weekend coming, I get to go to Puerto Rico next week...

:)

it's just not funny. I don't shy away from any kind of humor, except that which is not funny.

Shy away, then.

I guess we just have a difference of opinion.

(We're allowed to have those here, right?)

ah... No.

As of this message, you're not even at a 100 posts!

<sarcasm off>

You sure started a popular thread!

:hi:

We will ALL be!

I bet I'm closin' in on 100 right now, though I could probably increase that # by using shorter replies like "freeper scum" and "F*ck You" !

I'm going to post this first, BEFORE I read any of your responses.

My take on this? I'm Canadian. We pump out comedians like you guys pump out smart bombs. We also like to laugh at ourselves and our liberal ways. And it goes without saying, I'm a hard-left liberal.

This is the worst piece of fucking amateur shite I've ever seen. It's what Ann Coulter would "attempt" if she all of a sudden fancied herself as a closeted comedy writer. (Every lame lib/comedy cliche in the book: "Peter, Paul and Mary"? Get the fuck outa' here.)

No wonder the freeps love it. It's weak, ignorant and "base", just like they are.

Love to spend more time "critiquing", but it's not worthy.

Hmmm ... :tinfoilhat:

which must remain nameless due to the rules.

Probably should have been in the lounge, but we also need to be able to laugh at ourselves occasionally.

Quantity does not equal quality...

While I respect those that appear to have been here awhile, it seems that these are usually the people who cry "Freeper"! and get juvenile when they are offended. Obviously, this is probably the exception rather than the rule, but anyone can have 1,000 posts if all the'yre doing is shouting down those they disagree with with great and well -thought out witticisms, such as "F*ck You" and "Ignorant Unamerican A**hole".

Circa 1933. Hilarious...

If you look at the polls it is quite obvious that richer and upper middle income people voted for Bush. The "liberals" drink beer, as much as people try to deny it.

People should loosen up a bit. There is a sort of self-depricating humor one could derive from it, kinda like a John Stewart sketch.

from the other side.

Take a good long look at the site that posted this tripe, and you'll see what I mean. http://www.techievampire.net/wppol/?p=702#comments

Or don't... seems some people here just want to call other people for jumping to conclusions, when they at least have done the research to know where this comes from.

So now all posts should be meticulously researched, documented, approved by the board, etc.

And I find your comment about humor being fine as long as its from OUR side...just..well, the mind boggles...

from someone who is not you (or your group). That was my point. Not that humor is only fine from our side. SELF-DEPRACATING humor is a different animal.

If you can't see how this satire when quoted on right wing sites and found humorous by them because of its outlandish stereotypes of liberals is not exactly funny to liberals, then have at it.

I believe there have been quite a few liberals posting here who have indicated that they do find it funny, including myself.

Or, is this really a discussion over what a "real" liberal should or should not find funny?

:shrug:

On edit: So, if this had been posted as satire on the Working for Change website, you'd be okay with it? If a freeper then happened to come across the WFC website, and expressed that they thought it was funny, would you have a problem with it again?

at this very article. I can see where some of this is humorous because it is ridiculing stereotypes and could have been written by a liberal. But that RW sites are finding this article some sort of testament to their own derision of liberals is what disturbs me.

But who cares... I'm taking a respite from caring what anyone thinks about my opinion anyway.

are you trying to say that some liberals are even (gasp) NASCAR fans??!!

Perish the thought?!

on these boards. Everyone is so fearful of the loss of democracy that the vigilantes are coming out of the woodwork to start the finger pointing. You know they learned from the best.
Question authority=Anarchist
Against War=Traitor
Against Bush= Satan
Is the RW mantra.
Ours is like this
Make Joke=Freeper
Having another point of view=freeper
Not towing the party line=Freeper
Not lock step in tune with the 1000+ poster=freeper.

is not only a RW disease?

otherwise sane and rational humans transform into the kind of judgemental, hypocritical poo-heads that they denigrate daily, isn't it?

You think that is funny? You need to get out more, expand your worldview.

a guy named in devotion that paragon of comedic excellence and intellectual humor, Mr. Adam Sandler.

Geez.

"Ms Helen "Harpy Bitch from Hell" Thomas should be ashamed of herself.
She needs to be removed from the White House press corps."

From the same site hosting that "satirical" piece.

Ooh... and just lookie at the comments of those that read that site:
---------------------
#

It's about time that old, miserable hag were shuffled off to the glue factory and her columns shredded for toilet paper. Is there anyone who isn't gut-wrenchingly tired of her?

Comment by Robert — November 23, 2004 @ 5:14 am
#

Seems Ms Thomas has problems.

Comment by What will they say next — November 23, 2004 @ 3:12 pm
#

It looks like she and Walter Cronkite have both gone around the bend. "When what you call the mind is gone, the spirit wanders in exile until the great change." (Sayers, Strong Poison)
------------------------

Good, it is easier to relax from a sitting position:)

Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

Edited to add: come on, that's funny!

you have no business laughing at others.

This was hilarious, thank you for posting it.

Yours, or a quote?

as I posted, so I'll assume it's mine.

"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

Written by a right-winger? So what? Stereotyped? Sure..that's what makes it funny. The poster may or may not be a freeper. Who cares? It's funny in my opinion.

Whatever one's opinion of it, over-reaction doesn't help.

Hilarious! Is that an original by you monronchief?

That is too funny

but this has an undertone I don't care for.Jon Stewart does humour deprecating liberals all the time and is hilarious. I think maybe that it plays into the more vicious sterotypes is what bothers me. And it manages to not only lump us with a "useless" elitist class, "how many art history majors does one country need"" Without a drop of water but they did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet ,though." As well as snickering at illegals dying in the desert with the slam at smugglers packing liberals in "Volvo's" and leaving them to fend for themselves and expresses contempt for the percription drug problem seniors and others have by sneering at the people coming to Canada for their percriptions using disguised liberals as the device. Funny humour has a bit of truth in it. This is too nasty and is not a true representtation of liberals. Check out John Stewart or Letterman on liberal humour.They are funny!

Well, if it's so obvious (at least to people at DU) that this is not a true represenation of liberals, then I still don't see the big deal.

Personally, I think it's funny BECAUSE it is so obviously not a true representation (that's what stereotypes are, right?).

Just a question: How do you take the stereotype jokes about african americans and jewish people in Mel Brooks films?

:shrug:

and rational, to boot. Thank you for that. Although I, personally, don't read into it what you do, I appreciate your backing up your dislike with reason and well-chosen words!

You forgot the punchline.

All the GD people are all pissed off, and we Loungers are like, "Hey, that's funny shit!" :) Just goes to show everyone in GD should have regular breaks from it...or regular naptimes. Something. They get too keyed up in there.

napping now!

Q: How many leftists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny.

Unitarian, or Hollywood movie producer.

This is continuing the stereotyping and marginalization of liberals.

if you can't laugh at yourself, you might as well just jump off a cliff

:eyes:

"The president is dtermined to reach out" LOLOLOL

Everybody just relax...... . .. . ....

This joke was not mean-spirited at all. Like another poster said, if only other right wingers could be like this, this country wouldn't be in such a mess.

you'd know I am not mean spirited in the least and would never had posted this had I known it would piss people off. Actually, looking at the dialogue it started, maybe I would! lol

Still want to but DenverDem a beer...

It's true what someone else said. No matter what you say, someone will be offended. In any group, there will be those who can't laugh at themselves. Don't fret over it.

...but I'm ROTFLMAO. :D

I think what we're seeing here (on DU) is akin to what happened after 9/11...we are shell-shocked and brittle. I haven't been able to enjoy The Daily Show since 11/2, but this gives me hope that my sense of humor is recovering a bit.

Yes, I can see how RWers would also enjoy it, but I don't think that automatically means anyone who can enjoy it from a self-deprecating silly stereotype perspective is therefore a RWer. False syllogism.

Both those who recognize irony and those who don't will often find the same things funny (take the success of The Simpsons and South Park, for instance)...it's just that those who recognize the irony are enjoying it with a knowing smile.

(Of course, what do I know? I have a job and a kid and can only post so many in a day.)

;-)

If you don't like a post....you don't have to piss all over it.

This story made me laugh. So sue me.

There are some great lines in this like "Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk"

I think we need to be able to laugh at ourselves. And I'm one seriously considering moving north of the border.

Self-deprecating humor is the best kind. I don't even care if it's not, in fact, self-deprecating...those stereotypes are out there and an article of faith for the morons of this country, who've now got what they wanted all along, so what difference does it really make? We're right -- uh, correct -- but our knowing that and the rest of the world (aka civilized nations) knowing that doesn't magically remove the Bush junta from power.

It's just a stupid article, a satirical piece that's not the best but close enough to at least Onion standards. And, I daresay, the stereotypes within are as accurate as those that we see posted here regarding right-wingers...with the exception of ignorance and evil, of course, because those are the only two human traits that explain a Bush vote (to my mind, every single person who cast a vote for Bush was blinded either by ignorance to some degree or hate of some flavor). If freeper types want to laugh at it, fine: we can't control what they find funny. Hell, they're liable to find blown-up Iraqis funny.

And if it's a double-double-double turnabout with a twist and a pike, shaken and not stirred, wherein the humor is actually in lampooning these stereotypes and ther people who make and believe in them, well, so much the better. Once again, we liberal élitists (hey, the stats bear out that we're more likely to deserve élite status, intellectually, so why not celebrate that?) are right and it's a truth that only we seem to be able to see.

I don't like brie and I don't drink wine.

Also don't drink beer, and don't watch Nascar.

I am an élite unto myself. :P

F*** off, peasants...






I'm also very sleep-deprived, but have the distinct feeling that I missed getting my point across (pretty sure I had one, too) in all that mess above...

as another poster said, it kinda had an "Onion" feel to it. I particularly liked the young vegans in powdered wigs part .... as a young vegan, I may consider this some day :)