My entire music collection got stolen Friday night -- pity me

Thanks for reading my shameless bitching and moaning in my quest for pity and catharsis.

My kid (she's 8)decided to go out to the garage and get something, without telling me. She left the doors unlocked to both cars. She had a friend spending the night. When the friend got scared and decided to go home, did they wake me up? Of course not. They got on the phone, called her 16-year old brother, and he came down to meet them at the garage. My precious little daughter claimed that she had been "too tired" to press the button on the garage door, and left it open all night long.

She thinks I'm nagging her when I ask fifteen times a day"Did you lock the car doors?" and "Did you close the garage?" It's not nagging; clearly I have my reasons. Before the kids went to bed, I said,"If your friend gets scared, make sure to wake me up so I can make sure she gets home okay." There were about fifty different rules broken, rules that had been clearly established, enforced, and reinforced over a long period of time.

I'd been collecting these for years. I had about two hundred CDs in a leather case (all of my eggs in one basket). I put them in the case a couple of years ago because they were just taking up too much room in the house. Usually I bring them inside, but once in a while I levae them in the car. I figured with the doors locked, the alarm on, and the garge door closed, what difference could it make? I came out Saturday morning and the garage door was open. I was in the process of chewing my kid out when I noticed that all eight car doors were open, the glove boxes, and both trunks.

I have spent days fighting off A) depression at the loss of my music, and B) intense anger at an irresponsible child who definitely knew better. She spent last night at her mother's, so I got really drunk and tried not to think about my missing CD collection. I keep telling myself that they're just possessions, but I don't think I would have been nearly as upset if there weren't someone I could directly blame.

The insurance guy is out of town for the week. I know the car insurance won't cover it, and am not sure if the homeowner's policy will, or how much of it is covered if the home insurance does apply.

I spent a good portion of last night jotting down bands and CDs that were in there as they came to mind.

• Everything the Beatles ever recorded.
  
• Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, Relics, Meddle, and another one I can't remember the name.
  
• The first Wu-Tang album
  
• Bizarre Ryde to the Pharcyde
  
• Everything Rage Against the Machine ever recorded, including the import
  
• A couple of Queen albums
  
• The "I Am Sam" soundtrack
  
• The first two Black Sabbath albums
  
• The Best of Frank Zappa
  
• Garcia/Grisman Shady Grove and a fwe others
  
• A half-dozen classical albums
  
• Four Steve Earle albums (they left two behind, though)
  
• Blood on the Tracks and Desire albums
  
• System of a Down's first album
  

They also got my digital camera, still loaded with the pics from us at the last Kerry GOTV rally, a disposable camera with pics from our Grand Canyon trip and the Barack Obama rally. A bag from Target w/ my kid's new Sunday school dress (w/ matching shoes and tights -- it was very pretty), two new pairs of dress pants for work, and a Christmas present I'd gotten for a buddy (a Guiness hat with a matching t-shirt). Some DVDs that the same buddy had returned to me and were in the trunk. They tried to start the car with the mailbox key. They took the change out of the drinkholder and the dollar from my kid's Hello Kitty purse. God only knows what else is missing.

:argh:
Okay, rant over. I'm going to go wash dishes. Washing dishes always makes me feel better.

1) why didn't he make sure you were woken up? (or his parents?) I can't believe that when they took your daughter's friend home, no one made sure that you knew! The kids themselves could have been taken.

Also, have you checked into the possibility (and I know NOTHING about the people involved, so I'm not passing judgement) that the 16-year old and/or his friends took the CDs?

There's not much I can do, though. Apparently the parents are alcoholics, and while they seem to do a good job with their younger children, they let the teenage boys run wild.

Thank GOD she locked the back door! At least, after she came in, we were semi-safe.

Yet, sometimes there's no dollar value on loss.

It's not a big enough $$$ loss to claim. For that small amount of $$$, you're putting your coverage in jeopardy.

I know this is really hard on you.

I'd say that your homeowner's insurance should probably cover this, since it was technically stolen from inside your house. Make an extensive list of everything that was stolen, as detailed as possible.

I hope you can find a way to feel better.

Man, i'm really sorry. i hate to go there but in my experience alco parents don't pay much attention and the kids will do whatever to make themselves feel accepted by anyone else. You may want to check to see if the 16 year old came alone or not. If alone, he probably wouldn't take the risk of doing this. To gain "respect" from someone else, he would do it without thinking. Especially with the attempted jacking of your car. Once again, i'm speaking from experience as i was once that kid. They may have realized the garage was left open, dropped the 8 year old off, & came back.

Not only did I spend a couple of years working with juvenile delinquents, I WAS a juvenile delinquent. Him and a buddy or one of the many teenage brothers/step-brothers/half-brothers see the garage open, dare each other to jack the cars, drop off the little sister, and come back.

There's really a bad situation for the older kids over at that house From what I've seen, though, the younger two kids are treated with a degree of responsibility -- bizarre. Do some people just think that parental duties cease when kids are old enough to heat up their own TV dinners?

Yeah. And now my sister is doing the exact same thing with her kids. I've even tried to get custody of them but i can't get DCS to get off their asses and even check on them. But, hey, dorktv and GoddessOfGuinness have a pretty good idea. I'm sure i speak for many people here when i say we would help you rebuild.

It really really sucks to lose your music, but your daughter's lack of foresight is what really gave me the shivers when I read your story. You needed to be told as soon as she was aware her friend wanted to go home--period.

At least she is safe and sound, along with her friend. Her behavior could have easily resulted in tragedy. Maybe its time you read her the "riot act". Does she realize that doing things like that could endanger both herself and her friend?

(When I was a young girl, someone pretending to be a policeman attempted to kidnap me, and I know it only takes a few moments or a momentary lapse in judgement in order for tragedy to ensue. Luckily I was a bit older than your daughter and more of the "I've got to ask Mommy first" type!)

Total up the cost of replacing the cds and other items stolen from your car, those things are covered under your homeowners policy. When you speak to your insurance agent, tell him what was stolen and the total cost of the items stolen.

Ask him if it is worth it to put in a claim. The things they consider are, if you have put in small claims in the past and if so, how many; how much coverage you carry; how long you have been with the insurance carrier; the circumstances of the claim.

If you've never made a claim before, it may not be a bad idea to go ahead and file. If you have made claims, your agent may advise against it, as sometimes your carrier will drop you if you make too many claims on your homeowners.

Losing your music sucks, but it's replaceable. Your daughter isn't, don't stay mad at her, okay?

of some of my cds. :hug:

and that's a tragedy. Eight is such an in-between age for kids--they're not babies anymore but they're not totally conscious every minute either. Logic and reason aren't part of the brainmap yet. As my New Age sister says, "They're just not present in their bodies at all times." I do think some kind of punishment is called for, allowance forfeiture or something, to impress on her the seriousness of her mistake.

She's obviously too irresponsible to have guests spend the night, or to spend the night elsewhere. There was also a good deal of cleaning done.

On her letter to Santa, she requested "my own copy of the beatles yellow submarine so I don't have to borrow my Daddy's anymore." She told me that on Christmas morning, if Santa brought her her own Beatles CD, that I could have it. How can I possibly stay mad at her?

it sounds like she's got a good foundation and good dad!

Remember when she was first born? And her first smile? And the first time she said Da Da?

And then there will be her first date. And her first boyfriend (or girlfriend). And going off to college.

Hang in there. This too shall pass. Sucks though.

This place gets a lot of my business: http://www.cdepot.com/

I've never had a complaint with Amazon's used cds or Half.com. Sometimes you can find collection sales on EBay, as well.

I'm so sorry! I can't imagine not having my music. Don't be too hard on your kid...She's probably terribly ashamed.

I have some cds that I never listen to, that I'd be willing to send you, if you like.
Just let me know. :hug:

Did you make a police report? You'll have to if you want to make a claim. You'll also have to give them the name of your daughter's friend and her brother, since they were the last people in the garage.

but you should never EVER carry original CD's around in your car with you. It's just a good way to lose them to theft or damage. Go down to the Best Buy and purchase a spindle of CD/R's for $30, and copy your music. I don't ever take any of my original CD's out of the house since it's become so inexpensive to copy them.

That being said, I'm terribly sorry to learn of your loss. Having your music stolen like that is terribly traumatic, the worst part being that you haven't anything to listen to that would ease your sorrow.