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Edited on Thu Nov-25-04 02:30 PM by Cuban_Liberal
As I'm sure most of you will agree, this year hasn't been the best, in many ways. It's been particularly hard for me, personally, mainly because of Carlito's death. I've really been dreading the upcoming holidays--- just didn't quite feel 'ready', if that makes sense. Well, ready or not, they've arrived right on schedule...
Paddy and I've been preparing for this shindig for weeks: my folks and 3 younger brothers are coming, his grandmother is coming (and staying), his oldest brother, sister-in-law, their 3 kids and Paddy's 3 younger brothers--- all coming for Thanksgiving at our house. Quite a houseful, when you only have 3 bedrooms, really.
Paddy's grandmother, 'Gran', arrived last night on the train. Almost 91 and an honest-to-God 'live wire' if one ever lived, she stepped off the train with the bearing of a Celtic queen, albeit one who had had 2 or 3 cocktails enroute! Enormous hugs, lots of kisses and the obligatory "Let me look at ya, boyo!" to Paddy, followed immediately by "Tony, you darlin' man, what a lovely sight for these old eyes!", followed by a kiss on the cheek and a squeeze to my shoulder. Almost against my will, I began to feel better as we collected Gran's bags and went to the car.
We arrived home about 15 minutes later and as Paddy steered Gran to the door and I carried her bags, we were met at the door by both dogs and Sid, who variously barked, meowed, wriggled, rubbed ankles and generally went into frenzies of joy. Gran was immediately smitten with Brody, who she's never met, and he turned on the charm like a 300-watt lightbulb. They quickly developed a mutual-admiration society, Grover contenting himself with a spot at Gran's feet and Sid with her lap. Gran suggested a 'nightcap', and Paddy went to make 3 Jameson's while Gran patted the cushion next to her on the couch for me to come sit next to her, which I did.
She took my hand and looked me right in the eyes, but not at all unkindly, and said, "So, tell me how you are--- how you are REALLY, in here", tapping my breastbone with her finger. I almost started to give her a glib "Oh, I'm fine, and how are you?", but the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice stopped me. Instead, I took a deep breath and I told her, and without even quite realizing it all this 'stuff' just started coming out of my mouth about how sad I was, how worried I was about my folks, etc., and she just sat there listening, never once letting go of my hand. After I'd gotten it all out, she didn't say anything for a minute, and then she spoke:
"Tony, I'm an old woman--- no, not 'elderly', by God, I'm old--- and I've seen so much come and pass away in this old world, a great deal of it very ugly and painful. I've buried 2 husbands, 3 children, 2 grandchildren, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and more friends than I can even count, but here I am still. I don't know why I'm still here, but I know God has a purpose for me being here, or he would have taken me.
You've every reason to be sad about your nephew; I'd think something was wrong with you, if you weren't. No one should ever die at 19, and no one should ever die in a war, especially not one like we have now. It's a fine thing to grieve, because grief is love's handmaiden; you cannot grieve if you have not loved. But love, Tony, that's the thing you mustn't forget in your grief.
You say that worry about your parents, and I can understand why you might, but maybe I can see something that you can't just now, and it's this: your parents are strong people. Your mother escaped from that communist hell and came to a new land with new ways and a new language, and she's done well. Your father is strong, too, Tony. Like many of us, he started with nothing but his own two hands, a good mind and the will to succeed, and succeed he has. Together, your parents have raised 7 fine children, and seen some of them well-started in their own lives. Your parents will be OK, lad, they've just been knocked off their pins a bit, is all.
Now, you. You're a handsome, strapping man who's as bright as a new penny, and just as ambitious as your father. You're well-started in your own life. You've the love of my grandson, who adores you, as do I. In a shorter time than you can imagine, you'll be a lawyer, and Paddy will be a professor. You've two businesses, two cars and your own home, and neither of you 30 yet. You've many blessings, Tony, with many more yet to come. I absolutely know this, and you should know it, too."
She gave me a kiss and a smile, picked up her drink and handed me mine, and held her glass up for a toast, which we did. I smiled, too.
You're right, Gran, I am mostly richly blessed, and thank you for reminding me of that.
Happy Thanksgiving, all, and may God bless!
:loveya:
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